Life of an Ordinary Momma

Whirlwind

2011-10-18T21:24:00.000-05:00

I would like to take this opportunity to ask August, September, and the first half of October where they went?!? WOW things have passed me by in a whirlwind of activity, growth, experiences, and well...LIFE! I seriously had to go back to figure out what I had last written about and when it was. July?!? OOPS! I hope that many of you have been keeping up on Facebook. Having the app on my phone makes it easy to update that. We haven't had internet since leaving Alliance, though...hence my absence here. Ok, ok...I *had* internet on my phone, but COME ON! Who can do more than a few sentences on those touch keyboards. So frustrating! And, I felt like I was using dial-up back in the stone age. SO slow!

Anyway, I now have...wait for it...a KINDERGARTENER who is reading, tying her own shoes (when she isn't too stubborn), and has HER FIRST LOOSE TOOTH! What?!? When did I get *this* old? I am so proud of my girl. She is doing so well in school! The other day as we were leaving, her teacher told her good job. I said, "Did you do a good job today, Cass?" Her teacher kind of scoffed and said, "Does she ever *not* do a good job?" She smiled at me and it made my heart so proud and full. She is a little one who knows who she is and WHOSE she is and will tell you without hesitation that she is a true princess because she is the daughter of God the King.

Oh, Conrey, Conrey, Conrey...where does one even begin to tell about you? You are the laughter of my days. Conrey is my affectionate one. You won't see him sitting near me without him playing with my hair, holding my hand, or with his arm around my shoulders. He is protective of his momma, his sister, and his baby brother...unless HE is the one tackling his siblings. :) He is wise beyond his years and says the most funny things. He told me that I couldn't eat cookie dough because I would get worms in my biscuits (our euphemism for butt)...yes, on FB I edited a bit. He has the most tender heart and I only have to look at him with disapproval before he melts into tears and immediately apologizes.

Now onto the little handful. KJV (the baby...not the Bible translation) is the biggest handful I have ever known. He is ON everything and INTO everything. He is joy and life and fulfillment. We didn't know that we wanted a baby when I got pregnant with him, but our life would be so incomplete without the little stinker! He is now walking full-time and already has a mind of his own. Don't try telling that boy no...you'll get wailing like you took away his paci or something. He is his own little man and don't you forget it!

Our lives are full and complete and so very blessed. We thank God every day for the miracles...the gifts that He's given us. We are unworthy and we screw up, but our main goal in life is to instill a deep love for God in those tender little hearts. The verdict is a long time coming, but at the moment, it seems as though we're on solid ground.

Well, thanks for stopping by. Now that I'm up and running with internet via the hotspot on my brand new iphone, I will be updating more often. Have a blessed day!

Anyone here?

2011-10-09T17:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I have no internet. I haven't had it for a long time. I will hopefully have it before the month is out. I feel so...uncivilized!

I don't know if anyone is still checking my blog, but I intend to get back to it soon. My kids are big and grown up. My baby is walking and has 8 teeth. My biggest baby is a kindergartener who is learning to read and has her first loose tooth. My middle man knows all of his letters and what sound they make. I didn't know that he could write his own name until he did it...by himself...of his own accord.

Life is busy and hectic and glorious, because I'm alive to enjoy it!!!

Catch ya soon!

Emotions

2011-07-16T11:55:00.000-05:00

I have had much time to reflect lately. I have sorted and sifted through bins. I have looked back on memories and a lifetime of pictures. I have found things and pondered why they were kept as a "memory" and why they weren't thrown out, not remembering their significance from a time forgotten. I have thrown away. I have given. I have gotten rid of every single item of baby gear and clothing that I am no longer using for Keaton including all of my baby girl clothes. Well, you know me...I kept a full tub of "memory" clothes. One tub with memories from all 3 kids in it. I think I did well. Anyway... It has been a process of emotions. I have felt joy when I remember a special occasion involving this or that. I have felt sorrow as I gazed into the faces of loved ones gone on or friendships of the past. I have felt the sting that only a parent can feel realizing that my "babies" are quickly running out of that catergory. I have felt a mini "church camp euphoria" as I found a token of a lesson from camp and remembered the power that it had.

Above all, though, I have felt guilt and shame over the massive amounts of STUFF that I have...still HAVE after all of that sorting, giving, and trashing.

We are such a gluttonous people. I fear what God thinks of the sheer amounts of junk that we have. There are people in this world with 2 outfits to their name and I am giving bags and bags of clothes away...some just because I don't want them any more. There are people who have a few outfits for their babies and they rotate them and wash them until they are threadbare. I have kept an entire tub of clothes just because I want to cherish the memories.

What a humbling reminder of how incredibly blessed we are. We are spoiled rotten. We feel entitled. We feel that we are lacking.

We are big babies. Most of us wouldn't last 2 seconds living...truly living...in an under priviledged nation, much LESS a 3rd world country!

I would like to challenge each of us to really reevaluate what we have in our closets, storage rooms, and under our beds. Take stock of what you have in your pantry, cabinets, and fridge. God blessed each of us by putting us where we are. He chose this life for us. Praise God and thank Him for it! Remember those who aren't in the same station in life as you are and pray for them, bless them, give to them.

Next time you think about something you "need," challenge yourself on your own thinking. I'm pretty certain you'll determine that your needs are all met and your wants are not far behind on being all fulfilled.

As I try to stuff everything that I have...and I do mean stuff into the biggest U-Haul available, I pray that God speaks to my heart the truth about what I can do to pare down my belongings further so that all that I have is used for His glory and that I am living within my means and only as He would have me live.

HOME FREE!

2011-07-01T14:52:00.000-05:00

I call it home, though that feels weird. I am back in Alliance in an alien environment. I lived in this house from the beginning of March through April 24th when I had my surgery (on the 25th). Between April 26th and this past Wednesday, I believe I was here 3 full days and 5 or 6 half days. So weird. I really feel as though I don't belong and I don't know this house.

It really felt great to get back here, though, and I must say that I am going to miss it greatly when we leave. I love this little town and I will miss the people. Nobody here reads my blog, so I'm not even saying it for their benefit! :) I really have enjoyed the people here and the Bible studies that I've been a part of.

I came home to a disaster of a house. Oh my. There is so much to do to catch up. I haven't really known where to begin. I have done a few things here and there, but have mainly been recouping from the travelling.

In case you haven't heard the news, we got a transfer! We are moving back to where we lived when we were first married. I am super excited. It is where my hubby grew up and we'll be near his family. What does that mean for the present though? It means that I just had 9 weeks of being sick and recovering and now I have about 4 weeks to pack up an entire house! EEK! Kinda overwhelming! It is definitely worth it, though.

Well, this was short, but that's all I've got for now. Thanks to everyone for your prayers during my overdeal. I cannot reiterate enough how much the prayers did for us. Thank you, LORD for bringing me safely through.

Facing Death Head On

2011-06-07T14:51:00.000-05:00

It is a weird thing to decide to write about the fact that you almost died. It isn't a feeling that you can really put into words. So, I am going to write about it in terms of the joy, the blessing, the praise that fills my heart because of the work of Almighty God in my life through this experience.

Let me start off by saying that an experience like I've gone through changes your life completely...for a little while, at least. It can be a good change or a bad change. It can be revolutionary or momentary. I wish that I could say that it was a monumental change in this girl that changed the course of my life forever. I wish that I could say that it made me a stronger, more passionate person about God and living for Him. I wish I could say that it did away with some of my selfishness and sinfulness.

I felt the power of the "change" from this experience. One night, I couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't stop praising God. I couldn't stop singing His praises (don't worry...I was in my private room by now). I couldn't stop talking to Him. I couldn't focus on anything else.

Reality hit me somewhere between that night and the days ahead. I went back to my old patterns. I went back to putting me before Him. I went back to being too "busy" to talk to Him incessantly. I went back to life as I knew it before (only waaaay more tired and weak).

A near-death experience is a catalyst, sure. It is a wake up call, as they say. However, it is what you do with the days following that experience that really matter. It is whether or not you hear, whether or not you listen, whether or not you act. That is what matters. That is where you learn what is truly in your heart.

I am choosing to shout from the mountains tops the glory of my GOD! I will do it in this moment and pray that I have enough of Him to be strong enough to do it in the next moment.

I praise Him for choosing to keep me here a little longer and I pray that I may do the work that He has appointed for me to do. I pray that I might love my husband a little better. I pray that I might love my children a little better. I pray that I may be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I choose to overcome my sinful nature to be what He wants me to be.

Thank you, Lord, for the call...I heard, listened, and I choose to respond.

My First Skype

2011-06-06T20:40:00.000-05:00

I don't really know how to begin to write about my first skype experience. To say that it was touching is an understatement. To say that it was a blessing and an encouragement falls short.

On May 18th, my home church held a prayer service on my behalf. They've done this for many different occasions and people, but this one was for me...a very humbling thing.

It was made even more special when I was asked to skype in to the prayer session. After joking about my dreadful appearance (17 lbs lost, hair a mess, no make-up), I conceded that it would be worth it for the prayers. BOY, was I right! How amazing was it to not only hear what was being said, but to see the faces of those I love. I held on to the images of my brother, Derin, and my baby sister, Dani (Dustin lives out of state, so he wasn't there). I just couldn't get enough of them! My sis-in-law, nephews, and niece were precious sights to see, as well. Also, my second family, the Dosseys (and Herrmans). My sweet friends, which I will not name because I don't want to leave anyone out. You know who you are and even if you weren't there in person, I know that you were all there in spirit. I was just so blessed by the entire experience!

I just want to thank my sweet "sister," Carla, and my sweet friend, Kelly, for organizing the event. You both know the power of prayer in different ways in your lives and I have been blessed to hold you both up in prayers. I know you don't want thanks, but you have no idea what that 30 minutes did for me! Well, maybe you DO understand. ;)

Prayer works, my friends! I am living proof. I have faced death, or the possibility of it, head on (twice, actually). If it weren't for the prayers that were flooding the gates of heaven, I believe that I would be there now. While I have high aspirations of that being my eternal home, I was not ready to leave my husband, my babies, my family, and my friends behind. I begged, I pleaded, and God heard my cries...OUR cries. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

Upward Climb

2011-06-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

Well, the rest is just a bunch of days with ups and downs...bright spots and gray spots. Each day was a little better than the one before. Each morning I woke up with a bit more energy. I could now walk around the nurse's station a few times before huffing and puffing, though my pulse continued to skyrocket whenever I was standing, much less walking.

One day, I was feeling queasy. Zofran wasn't helping...I just felt bleck. I told my dad that I needed to puke. My catalyst soon arrived in the form of my dinner tray. As soon as I smelled it, I told Mark to get it out of the room. As he was trying to decide what to do with it (stick it in the bathroom vs. take it out to the nurse's station), I made the mistake of crying out, "What IS that?!?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I threw up...a TON. Buffalo. Meatloaf. I wish that I was joking. REALLY??? Since when is BUFFALO a mainstream protein?!? Ick! Of course, once I threw up and threw up and threw up some more, I felt a TON better and that was the last of queasy tummies for several days.

I want to put in a very weak, very sad shout-out to my precious daughter. This has all been most difficult for her, I believe. She has be so brave and so strong! You see, not only did she keep having her mommy yanked from her, but the night before my first return to the hospital, she had a dream that I was going to be taken away from her along with daddy. It was a horrible, vivid nightmare and I had a hard time calming her afterwards. Little did I know how prophetic my little girl would be. A bit creepy to me, still. It was also extra difficult for her because she had to have her birthday party in my hospital room on a day that was definitely a "down" day for me. I barely made it through present-opening before sending everyone to the waiting room for cake. I was hardly present and felt so sad for her. She was so good about it and had such a happy attitude just wanting me to feel better.

She has really been a great encouragement to me through all of this and I hope that I can someday convey to her how hard it was for me to see her go through all of this. She had another nightmare this morning involving me going back to the hospital and having to leave her again. *sigh* I wish that I could promise her that it wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, I cannot. I can only hope, pray, and beg for you to join me in this prayer. She is a strong little thing, but if one more person tells me how resilient children are, I might deck them. I don't care how resilient they are, I don't want to see my baby girl suffer now whether it effects her future or not. (Dustin, this would not be the time to be a smart aleck!) ;)

Anyway, the day that I got to come home was kind of scary. I held my breath praying that I didn't have to go back. I was afraid to sneeze lest I mess something up.

PRAISE THE LORD, I had no more setbacks for over 2 weeks other than just fatigue and that sort of thing! He has done marvelous things and will continue to do so. I am full resting in His promises of comfort, peace, healing, and supplication. Thank you, Lord, for your providence!

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 8)

2011-05-30T13:37:00.000-05:00

The next day, I felt awful. Everything hit me like a mack truck. It was the day after procedures, 2 blood transfusions, and just a day and a half past my fainting episodes. My body was spent. I had no appetite and felt like death. I was assured over and over that it was just part of the process. I hadn't really slept in days and when I had, it had been drug-induced...not exactly restful. I was kind of a wreck.

I really don't have much else to say about that day, so I will take time to talk about my roomates. HIL-ARIOUS!

My first neighbor was Betty. We got to our room just before midnight on Monday night. Betty got up to use the bedside toilet 3 or 4 times in the night. Mark and I were NOT a fan of the lights, the noises, the smells. Ugh. Betty was very hard of hearing and everyone had to yell to talk to her. Middle of the night after the most traumatic experience of my life and there were people shouting at 93-year-old Betty. I really don't remember much about Betty except for the repeat bedside bathroom episodes, but I do remember laughing (though it hurt like crazy) with Mark about things.

When I came back from my drain and blood procedures, she was gone and was replaced by Millie. Oh, Millie! She had no idea in her dementia state how much pain and agony she caused me as I laughed and laughed at things she did and said. Any time one of our IV pumps would beep, she would start hollering for someone to answer the phone. She thought that the nurse call button was the phone, so she repeatedly called the nurses in. They would assure her that the phone had been answered and leave the room. This probably happened 5 times within an hour.

That night, when they came in to take her vitals, she hit the nurse and said, "LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU AREN'T DOING ANY MORE EXPERIMENTS ON ME! YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I laughed and laughed and laughed. She, too, was hard of hearing, and it was another sleepless night with yelling, colostomy bag emptying, *shudder* and her trying to get people to dress her because 'her nephew was waiting outside with the car to take her home.' There were many more funny episodes with her, but I won't bore you with them. Let's just say that, though I didn't sleep, I did laugh a lot and enjoyed the time with Millie, though we never spoke or met due to the curtain between us.

The next day, I woke feeling somewhat renewed. My cultures had returned and the infection showed a huge colony of yeast. I had been on huge, heavy-hitter antibiotics and to this was added a yeast medication (fluconozole for any of you people who know drugs...aka Diflucan). I felt better and minimally stronger. I was pushed to start walking little by little...just to the door of my room. Then, just around the nurses station outside my door. Then, little by little, we did more. It was a start. What would really turn my days brighter was a visit from my babies (though it was emotional and tough, too) and being moved into a private room! What a change and what a blessing! Oh, they also started me on some anti-anxiety medication and it helped me sleep, which was a huge blessing, as well!

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 7)

2011-05-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

It was really no surprise to me when the GI doctor and his PA arrived instead of the transport team. He said, "Well, I've cancelled the repeat ERCP. You have no active bleeding." I calmly said, "I can tell you why." His face showed his doubt. I said, "In Alliance, for 5 whole days, I was given torodol every 6 hours." His jaw dropped in a cartoon-esque way. He turned and gapped at his PA, who's mouth hung slack and then back to me. "You're kidding me?" I shook my head. I then told him that, not 30 minutes before, the nurse had given me a shot of Lovenox (sp?) against my wishes, but it was "doctor's orders" from a different doctor. He turned to the PA and told her to go investigate it immediately.

You see, when I had the stent placed, I was told no NSAIDs (non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drugs). I was to have no ibuprofen, no alleve, no aspirin. Torodol is basically a mega NSAID. NSAIDs thin the blood, thus making bleeding a lot more likely and a lot quicker of a bleed out situation. Lovenox is a blood thinner that they give patients on bedrest so that they do not get blood clots. In Alliance, I questioned my nurse about the torodol. My dad questioned the surgeon. They continued administering it to me just the same.

I'm just going to say that the medical knowledge of my amazing daddy and my own training as a chiropractic assistant and moreso as a medical transcriptionist really saved my life MULTIPLE times.

If you don't read anything else from my blog, please read this: You have GOT to have someone with you as an advocate for your healthcare. Doctors and nurses do the best they can most of the time. Even great doctors make mistakes. You have to have someone on your team that is knowledgable and will be involved in your care whether the attending doctors like it or not. PLEASE hear this and remember it for the future. No one can trust healthcare professionals 100% of the time. They are human. They get tired. They make mistakes. Be your own advocate. If possible, educate yourself thoroughly about your condition/treatment of things and be proactive! Truly, it is by the grace of God and the wisdom of medical professionals in my family that I am here to share this tale.

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 6)

2011-05-30T13:12:00.000-05:00

The next day I awoke (ha...I hardly slept) feeling groggy and sluggish. They had given me 2 units of blood overnight, but I still felt like I was running on empty. I was on strict FLAT bedrest due to my concious issues the night before. They told me that I had 2 procedures ahead of me. One, a blood study in which they would radiate my blood and then I would lay under a scanner. This was to look for the source of my internal bleeding. I think that I failed to mention this. I was bleeding internally...a LOT. We thought that it was from the stent that had been placed in my stomach area, but needed to confirm this. I would also have a different type of drain inserted into my stomach into my abdominal cavity. It would be screwed into the tissues where I had an absess and lots of infection.

With great anxiety, I am wheeled down in my bed to the radiology dept. They were to take CTs, locate where the drain needed to be, mark it on my skin, give me sedation, and then place the drain. After it was placed, they would do more CTs to make sure it was just right. Little did I know that my anxiety would increase and I would have to dig deep...really, really deep. My pulse was high. My blood pressure low. A dangerous combination when you're talking about adding in sedation. The dr said to me, "I'm not comfortable giving you sedation with your vitals being so unstable. We need to get this infection out. Do you think you can handle it with just local anesthetic?" In a nano second, my mind was flooded with thoughts of, "NO WAY! I HAVE to get home to my babies! I just HAVE to do it. It's not POSSIBLE! I am too much of a whimp! I can DO it! I HAVE to do it!" It was a cacauphony of doubts, fears, bravery, and courage...perhaps those are 2 in the same, but each wave of emotion hit sure in hard. With tears in my eyes, I said, "I HAVE to do it. I have babies to get home to and I have got to get well." Over the next few moments as they prepared to switch up the plan, I kept saying, "I can do it." to the nurse. I'm sure she thought that I was delirious, and I might have been what with all of the pain meds. The lidocane burned like fire as they shot it in once, twice, three times, four times, but each time was a little less...each time the fire died out a little sooner. There was lots of pressure pain, but come on, I've had 3 babies! You can't take the pressure pain away and this was minimal to delivering a baby! :)

They finally declared the process complete and took the remaining CTs. They declared it to be perfectly placed and sent the cultures that were collected out to be done.

I was taken to a different room where they extracted 5 mL of my blood. I then had to wait 30 min while it was radiated. They put it back in and put me under this huge camera box thing. It was basically a camera that only picks up radiation. I watched as thousands of little white specks went from my arm where my picc line was located and scattered across the screen as the blood made its way throughout my system. It was very cool to watch. However, I never saw it pooling anywhere and this set the medical side of my brain to whirling. I would soon make a connection that would be pivotal (sp?) to my road to healing. After laying there for an hour, I was taken back up to my hospital room and waited for them to come and get me for my repeat ERCP. When they confirmed that the bleed was in that area, they were going to remove the stent, cauterize the bleeding, and put in a different stent. So, I waited.

Oh. My. Lanta (Part 5)

2011-05-18T17:37:00.000-05:00

I just now got computer access again. Donna, when I ended it that way, I didn't know that I would be too sick to continue. :)

So, seriously, I almost died. I was septic and was minutes or hours away from septic shock. My pulse was in the 160s and my blood pressure was dropping. I needed to go potty and the nurses ignorantly got me up to try to go rather than giving me a bedpan or something. In hindsight, I'm sure they thought, "Duh! What were we thinking?"

Anyway, we get into the bathroom and I told them that I was losing consciousness. I can't spell right now, so sorry about the errors. Anyway, I don't remember a whole lot between then and when I woke up to 20 people standing over me, but I remember yelling out to Mark that I loved him and I remember telling the nurses that I had to get home to my babies, I couldn't die.

My eyes snap open to people yelling my name. It was a strange experience that I cannot describe. It was as if someone plugged me in or something, it was that sudden of an awakening. They were asking me my name and all of that and I only interested in telling them that I loved that guy over there (trying to locate Mark) and that I needed to get home to my babies. I was alert and oriented. I knew who I was, where I was, and what had happened. I also knew that I was in serious danger.

From Mark's perspective, he thought that I died. Apparently, they could not keep me awake. I just kept passing out. So, he watches them get me awake and me pass out...4 or 5 times. They called in the Rapid Response team and my room literally had about 20 people in it. I don't know what they were doing, what all happened. I didn't want Mark to have to describe it to me because it was such a hard experience for him.

I was put on telemetry, which means I had 5 heart monitors that connected to a little box and I was monitored 24/7 for the first 6 or so days that I was here. My pulse, at this point, continues to be elevated, but not nearly as it was then.

I am just going to lay this out there to show the providence of God and the way that He works everything out. All glory to Him. If I had not been life-flighted that day, I would not be here to write this tale. The hospital where I live would not have had the resources, the rapid response, etc. to save my life. They just don't have the level of care that was necessary and that is the truth of the matter. Jehovah Jireh is my favorite persona of God. God. Will. Provide. It is the name that Abraham used when God provided the ram so that he didn't have to sacrifice his son. The Lord will always provide material things, wisdom, and guidance.

That night, I was afraid to close my eyes to go to sleep. After what I had just experienced, I didn't want to risk it. Neither of us (Mark, being the other) slept much at all that night. We were emotionally shot and just kept reaffirming our love for each other and thanking God that we were able to. He kept vigil over me as I did doze off and on.

I'm afraid that he'll have nightmares of what he watched. I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, but I do wish that I could trade places with him there and take those images out of his mind. I just pray for peace for him and I pray that God uses the experience for His glory and also to cement our marriage even tighter than it was before.

The next day would be turning point number 1, a much-needed sigh of relief, and some things brought to light.

A BREAK IN THE STORY

2011-05-13T17:56:00.002-05:00

I am going to have to break off the story here and I am not sure when I will be able to continue. Stay tuned.

In other news, Keaton has started crawling while I've been hospitalized. I missed it. *sob*

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 4)

2011-05-13T17:09:00.000-05:00

Friday the 6th brought a new day at home with optimism that the nightmare of pain was over.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!!

The nightmare was only beginning.

I represented to the hospital with severe pain on the other side of my abdomen. Same type of pain...other side. We never figured out what those pains truly were, but whatever the case, I believe that they saved my life because I was being monitored.

I was still under observation Sunday when Dad decided to go home. He flew home with a heavy heart, but needing to get back to his clinic. He called me when he got home to see how I was and I told him fine, but I had started spiking a fever. That evening, things took a turn for the worse when my pulse began racing and didn't slow down. It wasn't terribly high...110-125 give or take, but normal pulse should be 60-100 for me. Well, it kept creeping up.

By morning, the nurses were concerned, the PA that was seeing me was concerned and the decision was made to lifeflight me back to the hospital 2 1/2 hrs away. Lifeflight. Not a word that brings warm fuzzies. They took out my JP drain and away I flew.

The flight was uneventful. The ER admission showed my pulse to be still high, staying in the 120s-130s. About 3:00 in the afternoon, my dad and in-laws each started the 12-hour trek to get up here to be with me.

That night, I almost died.

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 3)

2011-05-13T16:53:00.000-05:00

I met with my surgeon who quickly accessed that it wasn't related to the fact that my gb had been removed. He believed it to be intestinal in nature. I screamed in his office. I screamed in x-ray. For 4 days, I screamed, cried, and begged for help. They gave me Dilaudid, a drug stronger than morphine. It dulled the pain slightly, but didn't take it away and I still cried. They diagnosed me with constipation, much to my disagreement. This part is a bit graphic, but necessary. On Sunday, they did 3 enemas, 2 suppositories, and I drank 2 doses of MiraLax. We worried that perhaps I was having a repeat of the condition that nearly took my life at 4 months of age (intucception).

Standing up, rocking back and forth, helped marginally, but enough that I wanted to stay on my feet at all times. I was already weak from surgery and lack of adequate food intake, but I needed to be up. It was a catch 22, as they say. I needed to stand, but I just couldn't for long periods of time.

FINALLY...much to my great relief...he decided to go back in on Tuesday to scope. I was seriously screaming day and night from Friday afternoon until Tuesday when I went under anesthesia. My poor hospital neighbors.

I again wake up to the normal hospital routines and am told that I have a JP drain coming out of my abdomen. My intestines had adheased to the bottom of my liver and my abdomen was filled with bile. Every time the intestines tried to function, it would tug the liver. Remember the enemas, etc? Yeah, they were forcing my bowels to TRY to function over and over and over, but they couldn't because they were stuck. The injury to the liver was leaking bile into my abdominal cavity as was my cytic duct that once connected my gb to my stomach-ish area.

A lady came in and said, "I just got off of the phone with your insurance and got pre-approval for the ambulance." I was still groggy and very confused as to why I would need an ambulance when I was clearly in a hospital. Long part of the story short, I was transferred to a larger city 2 1/2 hours away (where I currently sit writing this) to have a stent put in that would allow the leaking duct to shut off. It went off without a hitch. I was told no NSAIDs (ibuprofen-type drugs) and was sent on my way back to my home hospital.

The next day I went home and thought all was well...except for those stinkin' gas pains! I had now been inflated with CO2 3 times and let me TELL ya! It was NOT fun!

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 2)

2011-05-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

Ok. Now the real, less-dramatized story. My parents dropped everything to come up for my surgery. It was nice because we got to spend Easter with them. Monday morning, I kissed my husband and babies good-bye and went under anesthesia. I woke up to people telling me to take a deep breath, tell them my name, etc. They said my surgery went well and that they repaired my umbilical hernia in the process.

Tuesday, I went home.

It was all as routine as that.

I felt that I had just had surgery for the next few days. It was pretty par for the course until the pains started.

I had been having the normal gas pains expected with a laproscopic surgery. Since they don't open you fully up, they inflate you with CO2 gas so that they can see what they're working on. It hurt, but with walking, deep breathing, and my incentive spirometer (a breathing apparatus), they would pass.

My parents had left Wednesday and Mark's parents arrived that night to take over with the kids.

I woke up Friday feeling a little blah. We decided to walk around downtown and I just didn't feel quite right, though I couldn't put my finger on it. Friday afternoon, I talked with my sister on the phone. I was laying down because I had been having those stinkin' gas pains, but walking wasn't helping. They were getting worse and worse and I finally said, "Dani, I need to let you go. I am about to start moaning and screaming from these pains. I won't really scream (I chuckled), but they really do hurt."

Thirty minutes later, Mark was taking me to the hospital because I was screaming with each pain.

Oh. My. Lanta. (Part 1)

2011-05-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

I do not know how to begin this epistle. I am going to write it in parts. This is partially because of the enormity of it. Partially so that my readers won't be so overwhelmed by it. Partially because I shouldn't just sit here and type. I need to type some and then get up and walk. Type some and then get up and walk.

I am going to start at the beginning, as any story should. It WILL be long. That's the only way to fully tell the tale. So, if you want to hear it, you can read it. If you'd rather not, well, that's fine too. It is a story of my nightmares in many ways and one that would cause nightmares now if it weren't for my great God above.

Let me be clear from this moment on that I will be shouting His praises and glorifying Him through every high and every low. He. Is. GOOD.

The beginning is really back in Dec 2009 when I had my first gallbladder (gb, as I will refer to it from here on out) attack. Then, I found out in February that I was pregnant with my Keaton and the gb got ignored. I would have attacks off and on over the next year or so, but they were completely random and not dependent upon what I ate.

At the start of this year, it seemed that the attacks were increasing in frequency and this annoyed me. Number one, I didn't want to have surgery in the tiny town in which we live. Number two, I have 3 little ones to care for and the logistics seemed impossible. Number 3, who wants to have surgery?!?

I had a particularly fierce attack on April 22 which sent me to the ER prompting a visit with a surgeon the next day. I was shocked when he said, "Let's get you in Monday and get this thing out."

I had 3 days to prepare for surgery. I had to coordinate childcare, Mark's schedule (since he works nights), and a host of other things. This was only the beginning of the "adventure," however. What was supposed to be a 1-night stay after a "simple" laproscopic cholecystectomy (gb removal through 4 small holes) has turned into the nightmare which I am writing about.

Ok. I know that that was dramatic. Give me a break! I've been in a hospital bed for nearly 3 weeks! :)

Cassie Girl

2011-03-25T00:18:00.000-05:00

If you've followed my blog since its upstart (actually @ xanga), you know that I fondly called my baby girl Cassie Girl from the moment we found out that we were indeed having a girl. She is most definitely still my sweet Cassie Girl and I just love her sweet little heart. She is QUITE strong-willed and stubborn, but we're working on that.

Anyway, I had a few stories that I wanted to share about her. She is too, too much for me and I kinda worry about the future! :) She has been blessed with an ability to learn things very quickly and vocabulary seems to be one of her strong points.

At church Sunday, I gave her a $5 bill to put in the collection plate. I explained that Abraham Lincoln was a president a long time ago. I then got out a penny and showed her that it was the same. She looked at the penny and said, "OH! I always thought that was GOD! Hmmmm...." Too funny, but made this mommy proud that she knows where the money comes from and who it belongs to! :)
That same day, she said it was a beautiful day to play outside. I agreed. I then said to Mark, "I'm thinking about the P-A-R-K."

She said, "What did that spell?"

I said, "I wouldn't have spelled it if I had wanted you to know!"

Mark said, "I bet you can figure it out."

She was back there in her carseat going, "P-P-P--ah-ah-ah...Pah...rrr..rrr.rr..k.k.k.....Pa---rk. Pa---rk. Pa-rk. Pa-rk. PARK! I wanna go to the park!!!"

Later, when we were AT the park, she comes over to me and says, "It is a lovely day indeed."

Seriously. Where does she get this stuff?!? She is too much.

She is sounding things out everywhere. She read an exit sign yesterday and then asked what "exit" meant. We have been talking about logic, things "making sense," and doing things in the proper order. As I am clipping her toenails tonight, she says, "Remember how we were talking about doing things so that they make sense? Well, it wouldn't make sense for me to put socks on right before you're ready to clip my toenails."

Final story: We work on the concept of grace a lot. I think that it is huge to grasp the concept so that as her faith develops, she understands what an amazing gift grace is. Yesterday when I did her hair, I put some clips in and she didn't like them. So, I changed them to what she thought that she wanted. I went to dress Keaton and she decided that the ones I put in originally were better. Well, I wasn't playing switch the clips and told her so. Typically at this point, she would throw herself on the ground and start to throw a fit. We've been struggling with this recently. Anyway, I quickly reminded her that consequences are no fun. She gave a disgruntled grunty noise and left the room. I would later discover that she went and put the clips back where they belong. So, I took them into the bathroom to brush teeth and as she is brushing her teeth, I told her that sometimes when you make a good choice, there are GOOD consequences (not always, but sometimes). I switched her hair clips to the one she wanted and she had a huge grin on her face. She said, "Momma? Is that kinda like grace?" My heart leapt for joy.

It is not even remotely close to understanding the grace of God, but she understood the concept in a small, simple example. To me, God's grace is one of the greatest examples that He loves me unconditionally. While we were still sinners, Christ DIED for us...for me. He is perfectly just and therefore, I deserve nothing but death. However, because of His grace I have hope. I know that I am going to screw up no matter how hard I try. I know that I'm going to lose my temper and yell at my children. I know that I'm going to let people down. However, I know that God knows my heart and His grace is sufficient for even me.

My prayer for my sweet Cassie Girl is 2-fold. First, I pray that she understands that nothing...NOTHING can separate her from the love of her mommy and daddy OR from the love of God. Secondly, I pray that she understands the principle of extending grace to others. I pray that she looks at situations objectively so that she can be graceful to others...especially this mommy who will fail her more than I can bear to think. Those are the concepts that I am currently working on with her...trying to show her in everyday life and everyday situations.

I pray that as Cassie understands grace a little more each time we talk about it, that her understanding of God deepens and roots a little deeper in her sweet little heart.

That is what this motherhood thing is all about...making sure that those roots are nice and deep!

KEATERS!

2011-03-12T11:09:00.000-06:00

Wow! I have a ton to say about this kid. What a week this has been for his development! Let's see...first of all, I think that I have mentioned that he sits alone. So far, it is only for a minute or 2 before he gets distracted and falls over. Anyway, he had never rolled over. I found this highly amusing that he would sit before rolling.

Well, he has rolled AND rolled AND rolled some more. He loves it. This has made for some ANGRY awakenings in his crib, but overall, he loves rolling. I went to change over laundry yesterday and found him 180 degrees turned and rolled over from how I had left him.

He has started scooting. He's scary good at it. His older siblings didn't crawl (either of them) until the day after their 1st birthday. They both waited to walk until just before 15 months. I think that he might be wanting to get in on the action!

Now, for the thing that I wanted to get chronicled most of all. He responds to questions. I'm not even joking. If you ask him if he wants something, he will do 1 of 2 things. He will either reach for it OR....HE WILL SHAKE HIS HEAD NO! I'm not even joking. I got it on video on my phone. He did it twice on my video. Mark and the kids have all seen it. I don't know what to make of it, but it is truly amazing. In the middle of the night last night, I offered him his paci and he shook his head no and pursed his lips. It isn't a fluke, it is a real response. Pretty crazy.

Still no teeth. I'm going nutso with this teething. I'm not sure that they will never break through. They've been SO close forever, it seems. Oh, well, they'll come eventually!

Well, that is it. Just wanted to get some stuff written down. Thanks for stopping by!

Topsy Turvy Upside Down!

2011-03-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

Wow. Life has been blowing by at top speed and I'm never sure as to what day it is. We're in our new house. It's not yet a home, but it is looking more that way each day.

Mark is on a new schedule at work, working midnights. He just started last night. He then texted me at 8:00 and said that they had forced him overtime of 4 hours. Lovely. He worked from 11:30 pm to 11:30 am. He was less than thrilled.

Keaton is now sitting up for minutes at a time. He prefers being upright, specifically standing, but he'll take sitting if that's all he can get. He even prefers going to sleep sitting up. Crazy kid. He won't roll over...AT ALL. He could care less about rolling, but he wants to be upright!

My friend, Holly, has started a foundation, The KAJ Foundation, along with her husband and another family. It is to provide much-needed equipment for the NICU at the hospital where their babies stayed when more extremely prematurely. They go without a lot due to budgets and such. I wanted to do a shout-out in case anyone is interested in supporting this great foundation. If anyone is interested, I can get you in touch with them. 100% of the money that comes in will go to help premies and babies with difficulty at birth have a fighting chance! Holly is my friend that I asked for prayers 2 1/2 years ago when her daughter was born at 27 weeks, 5 days. What an incredible 2 1/2 years they have had as they have watched their sweet girl blossom into a healthy, active, strong-willed little firecracker! The "A" of KAJ is for her. The K and J are for twins. Sadly, the little girl was not on this earth very long before going to be with Jesus. The little boy, however, is about 3 1/2 and is thriving. Anyway, just a little background. They are obviously passionate about this cause and are hoping to raise $50,000 @ a benefit concert in April. I just thought that I would spread the word to my readers. If you feel moved to help the littlest babies have a fighting chance at life, let me know and I'll hook you up with Holly.

I guess that's about it. Life is crazy, but good. We thank God for being Jehovah Jireh...the God that always provides. I hope that you all feel His presence and His blessings every day!

OH MYLANTA

2011-02-24T20:33:00.000-06:00

What in the world has happened in the past 2 weeks? I posted 2 weeks ago today and our lives have flipped, flopped, and cartwheeled away!

First of all, I got really, really sick. It is quite possibly the sickest I have ever been in my married life. I had high fevers, debilitating body aches, the worst shakes that I have EVER had, and upper respiratory junk including a bad cough. Conrey caught it, but not nearly as badly, thank the Lord. He only got the fevers and aches. My poor boy. :(

So, we are living in a rental house, as you all know. Said rental house has been trying to be sold for about 10 years off and on with no success. We noticed a huge increase in showings over the past month, much to our annoyance. Showings are no fun, but when you've got a less-than-enthusiastic attitude towards them, they are a drag. Anyway, we were getting nervous about all of these showings. One lady looked at the house for 52 minutes. People, this house is tiny! How can you look at it for 52 minutes? Well, apparently, you can, because she did...TWICE! Once someone spent that much time in this house, we knew what that probably meant and we started looking for living space B.

A house was advertised in the paper Wednesday. I've told you how quickly houses go here, so we looked at it and applied for it, though it is certainly not somewhere I ever imagined myself living. *ahem* But, as I said, you gotta take what you can get here, so we applied. We were told that we were one of at least 3 that were applying. So, we get a call on Thursday saying that our house we're living in got a contract and we had about 45 days to vacate. Yipee..... Friday morning, we get a call saying that we have been selected to rent the new house! YIPEE! I was so, so, so sick, but got myself dressed and headed to sign the contracts, as Mark had to get to work.

So, we now are the proud renters of a house built in 1977 w/ every 70's finish you can imagine including paneling, green and orange shag carpet, and some lovely wood shingling INSIDE the house in the kitchen. Weird. There is also a bidet. No dirty behinds in our house! :)

There are some definite positives, though I like to mention the "lovlies" first. :) We have a 2-car garage that is ATTACHED, for one thing. Major plus in the tundra up here. ;) Secondly, there is a ton more space. We are very thankful for that. Also, a fully fenced yard and we're no longer on a busy road. So, we're thankful for how QUICKLY God answered prayers!

Saturday, we loaded up and headed back to do the final removal of our stuff in our non-selling house back home. We got a U-Haul and brought it all up with us. Then, yesterday, Mark and two of his friends unloaded all of that @ the new house and then did some other loads while they still had the uhaul. They made a great dent in our stuff to move, so that was good.

So, things are a bit crazy around here, but when are they not? We're thankful, thankful, thankful for the God's provisions this past week (and always, but we're talking about this week).

NOW, our house is back on the market as of Tues and we've already had 1 showing and have 1 more scheduled. It's all yours, God. Get 'er GONE!

Keater's Stats

2011-02-11T20:25:00.000-06:00

Well, folks, it is official. I've got a giant baby. :) He checked out A-OK @ his well baby visit yesterday. We will start his shots @ his 6-month visit. I wanted to hold off a bit, so we're starting them late and we'll go @ a slow pace. I just am not sure how I feel about shots and so we'll be very conservative about the rate @ which he gets them.

Anyway, without further ado: His weight clocked in @ 18 lbs, 10.5 oz. Height: 26.5 inches. Head: 48 cm. ALL THREE are over the 97th percentile. This is the new way of saying biggest kids there are. They told me that Conrey was over the 100th percentile every time. That makes no sense. They now say <97th. Dumb. Anyway, if Conrey was over the 100th %tile when he was 4 months and 18 lbs even, then Keaton must be over the 120th %tile, being 10.5 oz more!!!

Needless to say, he's a big, tall boy with a giant head, though I do not believe that it is disproportionate to the rest of his body.

One thing that I wanted to be sure that I wrote down about this sweet boy is the sweet connection that occurs whenever he is eating. He will not eat without holding my hand. He won't breastfeed without holding my hand and he won't eat cereal/baby food without holding my hand. It is so sweet that he searches for my hand when he's nursing no matter how hungry he is, before he'll eat. I already believe that, like his brother, his love language is going to be physical touch. That's just fine with this mommy, since that is mine too! :) Conrey has to have his hand in my hair at all times and loves to have his hair played with, back rubbed, etc. Right now, he is laying against me, has his head on my shoulder, has his hand on my leg, and is playing with my hair off and on. I'm just sayin...

Anyway, that's it. I don't know if anyone out there is reading my exciting blog (sarcasm), give me some comment love. I did have one comment recently on here and one via email, so thanks...just curious if I still have readers besides the 3 that I know of. :) Come one, feed my ego!!! :)

OK...it is nearing bedtime. We have to have an early bed time tonight, as we are going on a mini vacation this weekend. I will write all about it when we get back! Have a great weekend everyone and be thankful for the many blessing that we have!!!

Much Ado About Nothing

2011-02-09T20:11:00.000-06:00

I don't really have much to say, but felt like blogging random things.

As I said yesterday, we are disappointed about Mark being denied transfer.

BUT, we are looking forward to one very big "plus" of being here a while longer. Getting out of DEBT! That is our goal. We are making our plan to start snowballing that debt right out of the atmosphere! Once our house is off our backs, we should be able to put an extra $400-500/month towards our debt! WOO-HOO! How do we have a bunch of debt? My student loans (which were for nothing) and Mark's business loan (which was a grave mistake). Then, we have a small amount of cc debt because of the times that we were trying to make ends meet throughout Mark's business time and then unemployment. We're very excited to get out from under it.

I also wanted to blog a bit about my Mr. Keaton. His 4-mo appt is tomorrow, so I'll have more to say about his stats then. For now, I just wanted to say that he is LOVING puffies. I break them up and he goes to town! Also, he is learning to sit alone. So far, it is only for 7-8 seconds before he slumps forward, but he's on his way. He plays with toys a lot and loves music. He laughs really easily and talks quite a bit. He is still so, so sweet. He really is the joy and sunlight to all 4 of us. He still hasn't gotten any teeth in, but we're working on it. Cassie had 2 teeth by now, but Con didn't get his in until 5 months, so we'll see. We've eaten some food, too, but it seems like we have rough nights if he eats food. He just wants to eat every 2 hours throughout the night if he has food that day. SO, we're holding off on that for awhile. We'll try again when he's older. I was only doing it because he gets so, so angry when we're all eating. That's why we started the puffies.

Well, Keaton is mad at me for leaving him on his own too long for his liking, so I will end this. Look tomorrow for our vital stats with Keaton and we'll catch on the flip side.

The waiting has commenced

2011-02-08T15:27:00.000-06:00

...and the answer was "not yet." Mark's bosses have denied his request to transfer. We're disappointed, but I was prepared for it. Mark, not so much. We're just going to get rid of our house ASAP and work towards becoming debt free. Then, perhaps, we'll be ready to move along at that point. So, if anyone wants a super cheap house that is only a few years old, 5-bedroom, 3 full ball, 3 car garage, let me know. It's a great house and someone is going to get a steal, thanks to our situation. I just pray that it will be a blessing to someone since it cannot be to us. I sure loved that house.

Anyway, enough of that. This town will be "home" for now. God has work for us to do here and we're going to go about the business of finding out what that is!

A Lesson in Parenting

2011-02-05T19:29:00.000-06:00

I had one of those lightbulb moments. An epiphany, if you will. It actually happened a few weeks ago, but I kept forgetting to blog it.

Now, the story I have to tell is about a friend of mine. I'm not writing this to pat her on the back or glorify her. I don't want to make her head swell. *grin* She wouldn't want me to anyway. Therefore, I'm not going to even put a name. I will simply call her "friend." She probably has no clue how she and her sweet daughter impacted me today, but I suppose she will now.

So, I was spending time with this friend when I was in ta-town. She is a very close friend of mine and we were both desperate to get some time to catch up. Our kids usually love being together, as well, so it was win-win.

You see, my friend had one of those "teachable moments" and she took advantage of it in a way that I had never thought of and it was powerful for me, as an observer and fellow parent, to witness an area that I had been struggling with be handled so gracefully, so quietly, so thoroughly.

Her daughter is one of the sweetest. They had one of those moments when the child defiance comes out and rears its ugly head. My friend asked her daughter to do something and she stubbornly stared her mommy down. I thought to myself, "Uh-oh."

What my friend did next was what amazed me, but the reaction she got amazed me more. "Little Girl (though she used her first and middle name), what does Ephesians 6:1 say? The little girl looked at her with big eyes. "What does it say?"

"Children obey your parents in the Lord." She responded with eyes lowered.

"Okay, then" my friend said.

Here's the amazing part: That sweet girl began completing the required task. I nearly dropped my baby from shock at how seemlessly that event occurred.

Now, I know that my friend would assure you that things do not always go that way. However, I noted several things in this exchange.

1. That little girl KNOWS the love of God and of her parents. There was no question in her little mind that if the Bible says it, then it is important.

2. It is never too young to start instilling the Word in the hearts of our children. I've worked on things here and there (mostly songs) with my children. However, take it to heart, dear readers, that when it says that it is useful for training and rebuking...it is TRUE! (2 Tim 3:16)

3. By simply asking a calm, even-toned question, that mommy got the desired response and used it as an object lesson for Biblical principles.

4. That sweet girl learned a bit about grace that day, as well. Her mother could have spanked at the first sign of defiance. I think that we've all had our days when we'd like to swat them if they sneeze at the wrong time. However, instead of an instant swat, she had the opportunity to recite scripture and then make a better choice.

I had more items at the time, but as I said, it was a few weeks ago and I've lost them.

However, the point of this post is this: We have ~12 hours a day to be teaching our children. What ARE we teaching them in that time? Respect and obedience? How to turn the channel on the TV? Love and sharing? How to turn on their own DVD? If they can learn their numbers, colors, letters, and shapes, surely they can learn the most important words ever penned.

We have GOT to be teaching our children the IMPORTANT things.

So, my friend, I know that I was not going to 'pat you on the back,' but thank you for teaching ME while teaching your daughter. It is a lesson that I hope to take with me throughout this journey we call motherhood.

I'm just an ordinary momma trying to be more like Christ...

Waiting...

2011-02-03T14:27:00.000-06:00

We are waiting. Patiently at times. Less-than-patiently at others.

We still know nothing concrete about our transfer request. We know that things are in progress. It seems as though things are headed towards Mark being approved for the transfer. We have had good feedback from people involved in the situation.

What we haven't had is confirmation.

What we haven't had is a "yes" or a "no."

What we haven't had is any kind of information that tells us if we should unpack (the toys that the kids have been begging for) or start re-packing (everything).

What we HAVE had, however, is peace. We know that whatever decision is made, we will adapt and make the best of it.

It is tough to be in a waiting game. We feel like we've been in one after another after another after another over the past several years. Obviously, during Cassie's pregnancy, I was waiting anxiously to meet my baby girl. However, that was nothing compared to what was to come starting with waiting for Conrey's birth. His pregnancy was so hard and such a drain to me that it was just trying to get to that point. Then, we waited for jobs in Wichita. We waited for our house in KC to sell while living at my parents' house with a 2-y-o and baby, we waited to find a house. We waited for 15 months while Mark was laid off...waited and waited for God to prepare the right job for him. We waited in 2 separate states for Keaton to be born. We waited for recovery from delivery and for Mark to find us a place before we moved here. We've waited for 7.5 months for our house back home to sell (still waiting...). Now, we're waiting to find out about this.

We've learned a LOT throughout our waiting games. We've learned to be content with little (compared to what we had previously...we're still incomparibly rich to most of the world). We've learned to be better stewards of our money (though we have a loooong way to go on that one). We've learned to rely on each other. We've learned that it is OK to let people help you out in your time of need. We've learned that God will provide in ways that you never dreamed possible. {I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this on here or not, but one day during our struggle, completely out of the blue, my aunt and uncle sent us some much needed money...at just the right time. They knew that things were tough, but they had no idea what we were going through in that week. God uses people for His work to His glory and they were open to His prompting.} We've learned that we can help other people even in our times of need. We've learned that when you give from your heart, what you sow far surpasses what you reaped. We've learned to be thankful for what we have. We've learned that we need far less entertainment than we thought. We've learned that "stuff" is more of a hassle than not. {Have you ever tried to fit 2400 sq ft of stuff into 1500 sq ft? It really teaches you that you have TOO MUCH JUNK and that it is sinful in some ways!}

I could continue with my list, but I won't. I am rather rambly (as usual), so I will just end with this thought:

Every day is an opportunity for learning how to be more like Christ. Every situation that you go through is for teaching and/or showing you where you need to improve. God doesn't let things happen "just because." He has known every situation that you'll go through since time began. He knows the choices you'll make and the paths you'll take. Therefore, He has already planned out how HE will use that situation for growth. He is 100 steps ahead of us and has prepared the way for the lessons we must learn from the events in our lives.

So, my questions are these: What situation(s) have you come through recently that you need to find the lesson that God needed you to learn? What situation(s) have you come through that have taught you valuable lessons and what did you learn?

Those are more rhetorical, but if you'd like to share, feel free! Learning from each other is a valuable way to grow, as well! Let's be sure we're all growing together!

My dad has always said a little phrase that I believe applies:

We need to be here after what we are here after so that we're not here after He's gone!

MY NEW LOVE

2011-01-30T21:25:00.000-06:00

This is my new favorite thing. Seriously.

I. LOVE. IT.

What is it? It's the Munchkin Easy Squeeze Spoon and I got it at Target. Basically, you load it up with baby food or baby cereal, twist on the spoon, and go...ANYWHERE! The spoon twists to an "open" or "closed" position, so it is self containing. You squeeze the bottle part and it squirts the food onto the spoon. You don't have to worry about the baby grabbing the bowl and throwing the food everywhere because it is all contained in the bottle!
The pictures show it coming with a cap for the spoon (I cropped it out). Mine didn't come with one. I think that it must be the new design. However, I plan to buy several more, so hopefully I'll find the capped ones.

I usually keep a napkin next to me so that I can tap the end of the spoon down, as baby food is not very fluid and it needs to be tapped down.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. I love it. Did I mention that?

PLEASE VOTE

2011-01-29T11:36:00.000-06:00

If you have ever dreamed a dream, go to this site and help make a dream come true for a special teenager. Not only is she a sweet, sweet girl, but she is TALENTED and wants to use her talents to glorify God! Please listen to her video and vote to help her get a full ride scholarship to the school she wants to attend! GO BROOKLYNN!!!

Don't faint

2011-01-28T23:35:00.000-06:00

I know, I know...2 posts so close together...what in the world?!? :) I just felt like getting some stuff off my chest, so I thought, "Where better than my blog?"

Most of you have been in my shoes with one or more of these situations:
**Waiting to find out about a big life change
**Potty Training
**Sick while trying to keep a household running
**Wishing I was somewhere else
**Struggling to balance husband, children, baby, home
**Struggling to not worry about things
**Wondering if one of the 3 showings on the house here in Alliance are going to buy and if so, what that means for us

There are just times when it all seems to stack up and pull you down. That is where I'm at tonight. I am trying my absolute best to let it all go. I just want to shed the worry, the anxiety, the expectations. I want to throw it all heavenward and wash my hands of it. I can do that a lot of the time. I can do that when the day is busy and I'm on my feet running after 2 kids and nurturing 3. I can do it when I'm focused on my sweet family. When I have a quiet moment (which doesn't happen often), it all floods in and I must fight it back.

I KNOW that my future is already planned out. I KNOW that I needn't worry a single bit about things. I KNOW that all things work together for the good of those who love my Lord. I KNOW that worrying won't help anything even a tiny bit.

So, tonight, I am unclasping the chains that hold these things to me. I am holding them in my hands and praying over them. I am THROWING them heavenward. I am not taking them back. They are yours, Lord. They are yours to watch over and keep. I pray for peace and daily bread. That is all I need.

It's only been....

2011-01-26T16:08:00.000-06:00

FOREVER since I last posted! I have some valid reasoning, though. I was gone...out of town...for a long time. A month exactly. We left Dec 23rd and returned home Jan 23rd. We got snowed into a hotel along the route towards Wichita and ended up getting there about 3:30 Christmas Eve night. The day after Christmas, Mark headed back home for work while the kids and I stayed in ta-town. Dustin came to town middle of the week and then we all trekked to Dopps Camp for New Year's weekend. If you're not a regular to my blog, you're wondering what the heck Dopps Camp is. Well, we typically have 80-110 at our family gatherings so we rent a camp for our holidays. This year, we went to an awesome camp in Anadarko, OK called Oakridge Christian Camp. If you need a retreat place, I would suggest it highly. They have a TON of activities, good food, and an amazing staff that cared for us like family. They have everything to paintball to laser tag to go karts to bungee trampolines to rock climbing to mini golf. Oh, there is even a maze to walk through and a playground for the kids! Seriously, if you ever need a camp or have a group leader that is looking for a camp, check them out!

Mark headed to KC the weekend of the 8th of Jan for Railroad School. The kids and I headed up there to see him (after almost 2 weeks apart). We got snowed into KC Sunday and Monday, but the kids didn't mind a little extra spoiling from Mark's parents.

Other than that, we just spent time loving on my family, seeing friends that we hadn't seen in awhile, and eating at some of our favorites tha we don't usually get. Today, Cassie asked for Sonic. Sorry, Cass. There is no Sonic in Edge-of-the-Earth, Nebraska.

We really enjoyed our time and were sad to leave, though it is always great to get back home to routine.

I have a prayer request for you all. We have not broadcasted this until now, but we are asking for your prayers on a great opportunity. There is a possibility that Mark might get a transfer to a town near Wichita due to the fact that we cannot sell our house and are having to pay for it plus utilities AND rent plus utilities on our home here. They might let him transfer due to employee hardship. We would move back into our house that will not sell and he would commute. Please, please, please pray that this transfer goes through. It will be sad to leave the close friendships that we've already forged here, but it would be a big burden off of our backs in more than one way.

I can give more details on a person-to-person basis. I fear I've already put too many details online as it is, but I just ask for your prayerful support during this time. Also, for my sanity of moving 9 hours away twice within a few months of each other! That will be quite the ordeal, but well worth it for the benefits involved.

Now, for the update that you all really came for:

Cassie is learning and learning! She is sounding out words more and more every day and has enjoyed using her new tag reader to help her learn words. Yesterday at playgroup (childcare during my women's Bible study), she said, "Conrey, we're going to go potty now" and took him to the bathroom and helped him potty. Then, another time, the childcare lady heard her say, "Now, Con! We talked about this!" I'm not sure what it was in reference too, but she is the little momma that takes care of her brothers!

Conrey is in the midst of potty training. He did SO well the 4 days before we came back home. He is struggling somewhat now, though we're not completely back to square one. It will just be an adjustment, I believe. He is hilarious and cracks us all up hourly. Not long ago, he spelled his name, "C-O-N-R-E!" I said, "Y!" He said, "BECAUSE!" He is quite the literal little guy and we've had to practice how to make believe. He is getting pretty good at it now and it is not surprising for him to announce that he is a super hero or dinosaur or some type of animal. Too cute!

Keaton...oh, sweet Keaton! He is truly one of the sweetest babies I've ever known! He has the best disposition and smiles so easily! He is teething, which has been a challenge. There are times when he gets really upset and I know that it is a pain cry with his poor little gums. If he's crying, but not in pain, if I strip him down to just his diaper, he usually calms right down. He is just like his daddy and brother in build and temperature tolerance. He does NOT like to be hot! He has been sleeping through the night since about 2 1/2 months. He was sleeping from like 10:30 or 11 to 5:30 or so and I considered that through the night. Now, however, he likes to be to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30. He wakes up to eat at about 6:30 or 7 and then typically sleeps until 8:30 or 9. The boys likes to sleep, for sure and I don't mind! He is getting SO big! He is nearly 19 lbs and is just a little ball of lovely pudge! Most people comment that he does not seem like a 3 1/2 month old baby. From the hospital, he has held his head up and smiled a lot. He has kept on overachieving since then.

Mark and I are doing well. We don't like the time apart, but it sure does keep the spark lit, so to speak. We are just happily in love and working every day towards building our relationship and our family. We feel as though our trust in the Lord has strengthened us as individuals and with each other and we praise God for the trying past 2 years and the lessons and growth that they have provided. They have been quite uncomfortable and sometimes painful as we went through the trials, but we came out better and stronger for having walked through them.

I guess that's about it. It was about this time last year that we found out about little Keaton. Can't believe the year we've had, but I'm extremely excited about the year ahead! May God continually bless you in 2011 and may you embrace the challenges as they come so that you might emerge stronger on the other side!

The To Do List

2010-12-20T10:36:00.000-06:00

It is getting longer by the second. I have a lot to do this week and the awake hours don't seem expansive enough to encompass the list, which seems to grow exponentially.

I have to retract my statement about Keaton. His stinkiness has greatly improved. We prayed for his little tummy at 2 different Bible studies last week. Then, on Wednesday night, I had a chiro at our church adjust his little back. I am not sure if it was the prayers AND the insight to have him adjusted or just the prayers. Either way, he is way better, which is way better for us all.

The big kids are stinkin' excited to see Grannie and Grandpa and all of their aunts, uncles, and cousins! They've been counting down since 12 days. They are also excited to see their other grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins in a couple of weeks. So much family time! WOO HOO! They are looking forward to Christmas, as well, but I think that they are more excited to see everyone than they are about the presents!

I, once again, did not get out a Christmas card. It just doesn't happen. I think that I got some out 1 year of the 8 we've been married. You all know what has gone on throughout our year, though, so all you REALLY need is pictures. You shall have some after the first of the year.

Oh. I need to get a few things written down about Keaton. On Friday (the 17th) he laughed for the first time at me tickling him. It was a great laugh, too! He's made some other random laughing sounds, but this was a response to tickling. Also, he is really not too far from sitting on his own. Crazy, I know. He's not even 3 months yet. He has always had really good head control and it looks like his entire back is going to be strong and have good balance. He plays so well with his toys on his floor gym. He will grab onto something and shake it while watching it very closely. Then, he'll let go of it and reach for one of the other toys. He prefers the octopus, which I purposely put to the side and not really in his reach. He will stretch to grab it. It is so cute!

Well, that's all. I need to get going and get busy. First item on the agenda today is to clean out the van and get the *ahem* presents all wrapped, camoflauged, and ready to go. Pretty sure we didn't need to get them anything at all with the grandparents, but we did in the name of the jolly elf.

I hope that you all have blessed holidays with lots of love with family and friends. Let us remember that the secular part of the holiday is lots of fun, but the holiday was created to celebrate the birth of our savior...our only hope of salvation. He left His throne to put on one of these lowly bodies, be limited, and eventually tortured and killed for YOU! Merry CHRISTmas to you all!

How?

2010-12-09T10:48:00.000-06:00

How do I begin to update what has happened over the past month and what is ahead of us?

Well, let me start by saying that all is well with our family.

Mark is enjoying his job and is really learning the ropes. He goes to railroad school for 2 weeks in January.

I am exhausted. Utterly and truly exhausted, but I am maintaining and have found that things aren't really much different with 3 kids. The two big kids entertain each other so well. My hardest thing is getting everything that I need for all 3 kids and myself whenever we leave the house. Coat, Coat, Coat, Blanket. Hat, hat, hat. Gloves, gloves, gloves. Diapers, Diapers. Wipes. Nursing Shawl. Burp Rags. Snacks. Stuff to keep the big kids entertained. I need to add baby toys to my list, because Keaton has been restless at church already. I just need something for him to look at. Anyway, I'm learning and forgetting stuff a lot less frequently.

Cassie is amazing. She is learning to sound words out. The other day, she sounded out the word 'butterfly.' The only thing that I had to add to it was the extra 't.' She is such a great helper and loves to do things to help her brothers, which is a bonus for me. She gets her and Conrey's toothbrushes ready every time and they brush until Mark or I come in to really brush their teeth. So cute!

Conrey is amazing, as well. His speech has exploded. Those of you who were around him a lot in Wichita will not believe how much and how well he talks now. He, also, is sounding things out, though not very well. He just likes to be like sister. He loves to help baby brother and is my little gopher going to get anything that I need such as diapers, burp rags, my phone...whatever. He is so loving and caring.

Keaton is...you guessed it...amazing in his own little way. God blessed me beyond belief with a laid back, sweet, and good natured baby. He never cries unless he is starving to death or has woken up in his carseat. He then thinks that he needs to get out. Imagine that! I will say, though, that he is the STINKIEST baby EVER! He has some gassy issues that we're trying to figure out. If you have any suggestions beyond gas drops, be sure to pass them along!!! He is so sweet and smiles a lot. As he has gotten fatter and fatter, he has developed a dimple on one cheek that is precious and I LOVE to see it! He has...honest to goodness...been mimicking me saying "hi." I have 6 witnesses now...well, 8 if you count Cassie and Conrey, but they aren't always reliable sources. :)

I guess that's about it with our little family of 5. Our house is coming together slowly, but surely. There is a much newer house that is $150 cheaper per month on the other end of town. We might go look at it. We do NOT want to move again, but 150 a month for a newer house with the same amount of space might be totally worth it! We would almost definitely save money on utilities, as well. We'll see what the good Lord has in store for us. Cassie told my m-i-l that she and Con share a room. Then, she said, "Oh, and we have a rec room. We call it that 'cuz it's always a wreck!" I laughed until I cried! That is where a lot of boxes and random things are at the moment.

For now, we're planning a time to go to the nearby "big" city to do some Christmas shopping. It is an hour or so away and has a Walmart and Target. The thought of going to Target is almost overwhelmingly thrilling. I miss it soooo much!

I will leave you with a recent conversation between the kids and me. Cracked me up.

Cassie, whispering to Conrey: Let's ask mommy if we can go to the zoo today! (we had 6 in of snow, btw)

Me, whispering back: There IS no zoo.

Cassie: You heard me? I nodded. There is no ZOO? I shook my head. How about the donut shop.

Me: No donut shop. Both of their little mouths fell open.

Conrey: Chuck E Cheese, even???

Me: Nope.

Cassie: What IS there to do here FUN?

Me: Not much, my sweet girl. Wait until warm weather and then there will be more to do........

I think that they are scarred for life!

Travel

2010-11-18T14:59:00.001-06:00

The best thing about my childhood? Memories...specifically memories made on family vacations. It's time to start making memories with your children, husband, wife, parents, whatever your family looks like, memories are what will last a lifetime.

I have recently become a travel consultant with a great company that is on the fast track to greatness. People that I know are having great success with this awesome company and I'm extremely excited to be a part of this great company.

If this opportunity interests you, I would be thrilled to share more about our company with you.

However, that is not the purpose of this post. The purpose is to ask you to consider booking your travel with me...to consider sharing my website with your friends and families that might need to book travel at any time of the year. I have done many searches between my site and others and I am almost ALWAYS cheaper. In fact, I just searched for flights between Wichita, KS and Portland, OR and each ticket was FIFTY DOLLARS CHEAPER between my site and the other top travel sites! How can you beat that?!?

My site is: http://www.vickersvacations.rovia.com/ and I would be honored to have you check it out. OR, if you prefer help booking your travel, I would love to do the searches for you and let you know the results.

Not only can you book flights, hotels, cruises, etc on my site, but you can also book all-inclusive packages that are AMAZING. If you're looking to travel, please check out my packages, because there are some awesome deals available!

Please, friends of cyberspace, help me get my name and site out there! I would greatly appreciate it and will work to get you the best deals available!

And don't forget, if you'd like to find out how you can get a piece of the action, just let me know! :)

Home is where the HEART is

2010-11-12T11:05:00.000-06:00

thank goodness it is. we are home. put that home in quotes. the function key and the shift are not working on my phone for some reason. the only way that this is home is the fact that our family is now complete and reunited. it is cold and we have 6 inches of snow. i am slowly trying to find places for everything. 2400 square feet of furniture. storage containers. toys. and stuff does not very well fit into 1500 square feet. it is going to be a process for sure. we are here though. we do not yet have internet and i am not sure when we will get it. just wanted everyone to know that we are alive and kickin up here in snowy nebraska. i will update more when my keys work better.

LAST CHANCE!!!

2010-11-01T10:58:00.002-05:00

Last chance! Tastefully Simple is being packed up, loaded up, and moved to Nebraska! Here's the list of what is left:

Artichoke and Caper Slow Cooker Sauce (10.72) 7.72

Asian Honey Mustard Dressing (7.23) 5.21

Balsamic and Basil Dipping Oil (9.65) 6.96

Berry Sunrise Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96

Cake Batter Chiller Mix (8.04) 5.79

Creamy Caramel Sauce (9.65) 6.96

Gotta Lotta Garlic Salsa (9.65) 6.96

Juicy Watermelon Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72

MMMMM Mojito/Juicy Watermelon Mini Bucket Drink Mix Duo (10.72) 7.72
Onion Onion (9.65) 6.96

Samba Sangria Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72

Simple Salad Dressing Mix (6.03) 4.34

Spinach and Herb Dip Mix (9.65) 6.96
Strawberry Rhubarb Cobbler Mix (10.72) 7.72

Sunny Orange Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96
Sweet Pepper Jalapeno Jelly (6.84) 4.93

Truffle Fudge Brownie Mix (8.25) 5.94

Overwhelmed and Underpaid

2010-10-30T14:29:00.000-05:00

I don't get paid enough for this job...

I had better get lots of hugs and kisses from my husband once I get up to Nebraska! I'm pretty sure he owes me big time!

I am in the midst of packing...packing an entire house! Yes, you heard right. We've decided to move the whole house. It is mainly a financial thing. It is going to cost us around $1000 minimum to move. We don't want to do it twice. It would shave the cost down a bit...maybe $700 each time, but STILL! We don't want to do it twice! So, we're going to get it all packed up, loaded up, and shipped out. What does this mean? That I am TERRIBLY behind schedule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two weeks ago, my sweet friend was going to come help me pack. I opted for a girl's night instead. BAD CHOICE!

That same week, a sweet friend DID come help me pack. I sent her home early saying that I just didn't know what else needed to be packed at that point in time. BAD CHOICE!

This past week, I rounded up some ladies for a last hurrah at Carlos O'Kelly's instead of rounding them up to come pack. BAD CHOICE!

A different day this week, I had people over and had them do minimal things because I didn't really think that I had that much left to do. Keaton wouldn't let me put him down, so they did a few minor things while playing with the kids and I took a shower, got all dressed and fixed up, etc. BAD CHOICE!

Do you see a trend here? I seem to be losing ground here. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't go back and change my choices. I needed those times with the girls and everything. At the time, we were planning to only move the essentials. Now, we're moving out everything that we own. We're clearing out the house and our lives from Wichita as far as material possessions are concerned. We went from half moving to full house moving and it is a LOT to do with 3 kids. When mom comes to help, one of us is doing something for the kids the whole time. It's kind of like trudging through mud! I know we're making some progress, but it is SLOOOOOOW!

Now, dear readers, I ask you one question: Why am I taking the time to do a blog update when I feel this way? Simple. I needed a "get my mind together and straight" break before I lost it...my mind, I mean.

Now, I feel better and refreshed and I'm going to go pack up some DVDs.

the end

Let's try this...

2010-10-28T10:48:00.001-05:00

I have videos of both kids singing the old testament. They both have learned all 66 books of the Bible. Conrey's is hard to understand, so you might want to watch Cassie's first. Sorry they're sideways. I don't know what to do about that. I hope that they'll upload!

Let the countdown begin

2010-10-26T22:02:00.000-05:00

So, we're in the home stretch, ladies and gentlemen (If there ARE any gentlemen that read my blog. No, Dustin...you don't count...sorry)! The event that we have been looking forward to...waiting and watching for...it is almost here! I can finally say that, Lord willing, 11 days from right now, I will be in my new home in Alliance, Nebraska! WOOT! We have been waiting since the beginning of July to be able to plan a day that we would all be together in NE. At first, it was "as soon as baby comes." Then, it was "as soon as Mark finds a house." It was "this" and "that" and we thought that it was NEVER going to all come together. Now, my dear readers, it has and we're going to be reunited on Nov 6th!

So, obviously, we got the house. Now, there was confusion about the floorplan. No, there is no bedroom with a bathroom in the middle of it out in the open. That was a misled conclusion. But, there IS a rec room that has a sink in it and a closet with a toilet in it. There IS a laundry room with a shower in it. There IS a masterbedroom with old, orange carpet. We are getting a brand new dishwasher. We are just pretty stinkin' excited to get there. Mark moved in tonight. He got okay'd to move in yesterday, packed up everything he had last night, and moved today. How's that for desperate?!? :) He was more than ready to kiss his old, yucky apartment good bye. Thank you, Lord, for an awesome anniversary present for him!

Oh, did I mention that it's our 8th anniversary today? We made it through the 7-year itch with no itching problems! :) Years 6 and 7 were T-O-U-G-H. However, our marriage has never been stronger. We have never been closer. We have never loved each other more. We were in the burning fire, but found out through it all, that we are fireproof...and we intend to remain in that state with a lot of hard work and prayers. Alliance is a town with little to do. We're excited to spend real, quality time with each other and with our kids with no cable TV (they have cable service...we're just opting out)! This morning, my doorbell rang and I was presented with 8 roses for 8 great years by the Dillon's delivery man. What a sweet guy I married! He's so thoughtful and considerate!

So, that's where we stand. We will pick up anchor either the evening of the 5th and drive part way or the morning of the 6th and drive straight through. Either way, God is bringing us back together and we are ecstatic!

Thanks everyone for the continued prayers, the strength and encouragement, and for holding my hand through all of this. Keep the prayers coming over the next couple of weeks! I'm gonna need them!!!

Tastefully Simple SALE

2010-10-19T21:31:00.004-05:00

[EDIT] The list continues to shrink! If you're undecided about something, you'd best jump on it before it is gone!!! If you have any questions about my products, please don't hesitate to ask!

Here's what I've got left, folks: I sold a BUNCH today and will only have these items on the 30% off sale until I move...then they'll be back to full price. If I talked to you about a specific product today, I probably took it off of the list to save it for you, so ask me...don't just think that it is sold. Thanks!

Artichoke and Caper Slow Cooker Sauce (10.72) 7.72
Asian Honey Mustard Dressing (7.23) 5.21
Balsamic and Basil Dipping Oil (9.65) 6.96
Berry Sunrise Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96
Cake Batter Chiller Mix (8.04) 5.79
Creamy Caramel Sauce (9.65) 6.96
Gotta Lotta Garlic Salsa (9.65) 6.96
Juicy Watermelon Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72
MMMMM Mojito/Juicy Watermelon Mini Bucket Drink Mix Duo (10.72) 7.72
Nana’s Apple Cake Mix (6.84) 4.93 (ONE left)
Onion Onion (9.65) 6.96
Samba Sangria Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72
Simple Salad Dressing Mix (6.03) 4.34
Spinach and Herb Dip Mix (9.65) 6.96 (TWO left...this one is a HOT item)
Strawberry Rhubarb Cobbler Mix (10.72) 7.72
Sunny Orange Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96
Sweet Pineapple Chipotle Salsa (9.65) 6.96
Sweet Pepper Jalapeno Jelly (6.84) 4.93
Truffle Fudge Brownie Mix (8.25) 5.94

Pictures

2010-10-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

Be sure to check out the post below about my Tastefully Simple Online Open House Sale!

Now, for some pictures of the kids. Keaton, Cassie and Keaton, Conrey and Keaton, and the most hilarious baby picture I've ever seen!

Thanks to my friend, Donna, for taking these last night when she was helping me pack!

Hope you got a giggle out of that one!

Tastefully Simple

2010-10-19T10:52:00.010-05:00

[EDIT] My products are going fast! I am price checking several others for people, so if you want something, you'd better claim it quickly! Thanks!

With the slow, agonizing death of my business, due to my pregnancy, I am going to sell off a lot of my inventory. I have plans to restart soon in Nebraska, but for now, I will just clean my slate and sell a bunch...mostly so that I don't have to move it! :)

So, what does this mean to YOU? Well, I have a list below of the products that I have that I'm selling for 25-30% off of retail prices!!! What a bargain! For example, you can get the beer bread for only $3.85! I only have limited product and it is first come, first serve. MD, I have your garlic pepper. Sorry I'm a lame-o slacker! I will do my best to bring it tomorrow night to church.

So, if you'd like something, contact me ASAP at mdvickers@juno.com or on facebook. They're going to go fast, I have a feeling!

Absolutely Almond Pound Cake (6.18) 5.17 (ONE LEFT)
Artichoke and Caper Slow Cooker Sauce (10.72) 7.72
Artichoke and Spinach Warm Dip Mix (8.04) 5.79
Asian Honey Mustard Dressing (7.23) 5.21
Bacon Ranch Dip (5.87) 4.23
Backyard BBQ Dip Mix (5.87) 4.23
~~Bayou Bourbon Glaze~~
Balsamic and Basil Dipping Oil (9.65) 6.96
Berry Sunrise Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96
Blue Ribbon Blueberry Bar Mix (6.43) 4.63
Bold and Bossy Honey Mustard Sauce (7.50) 5.41
~~Bountiful Beer Bread Mix~~
Bountiful Beer Bread Value Pack (15.55) 11.20
Bruschetta Cheese Ball Mix (7.50) 5.41
Cake Batter Chiller Mix (8.04) 5.79
Corn and Black Bean Salsa (9.65) 6.96
Creamy Caramel Sauce (9.65) 6.96
Dried Tomato and Garlic Pesto Dry Mix (9.65) 6.96
Gotta Lotta Garlic Salsa (9.65) 6.96
Juicy Watermelon Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72
Key Lime Cheese Ball Mix (7.50) 5.41
MMMMM Mojito/Juicy Watermelon Mini Bucket Drink Mix Duo (10.72) 7.72
Nana’s Apple Cake Mix (6.84) 4.93
~~Oh My Chai (10.72) 7.72~~
Onion Onion (9.65) 6.96
Perfect Parmesan Biscuit Mix (6.96) 5.01
Perfectly Potato Cheddar Soup Mix (9.11) 6.56
Pomegranate Chipotle Sauce (9.65) 6.96
Roasted Garlic and Herb Dip Mix (9.65) 6.96
Samba Sangria Slush Drink Mix (10.72) 7.72
Savory Wheat Beer Bread Mix (6.43) 4.63
Seasoned Salt (9.65) 6.96
Simple Salad Dressing Mix (6.03) 4.34
~~Smoky Bacon Grill Sauce~~
Spinach and Herb Dip Mix (9.65) 6.96
Strawberry Rhubarb Cobbler Mix (10.72) 7.72
Strawberry Rhubarb Spread (8.57) 6.17
Sun Dried Tomato Veggie Dip
Sunny Orange Pancake and Waffle Mix (9.65) 6.96
Sweet Pineapple Chipotle Salsa (9.65) 6.96
Sweet Pepper Jalapeno Jelly (6.84) 4.93
Tasty Rye Bread (4.82) 3.47
The Trio (Bacon Bacon, Garlic Garlic, and Onion Onion single use) (7.50) 5.41
Truffle Fudge Brownie Mix (8.25) 5.94
Twisty Grahams (5.35) 3.85
~~Vidalia Onion Salad Dressing~~ (8.25) 5.94
Warm the Oven Savory Cheese Dip Mix (9.65) 6.96
Warm Up Mulling Spices (9.65) 6.96

I've Only....

2010-10-18T12:54:00.001-05:00

This is a post by one of my friends that she posted on Facebook. I thought that it was really good and needed to be shared. Imagine how we could increase the self-worth and confidence in our children if we never indoctrinated them with the "I've Only's."

*************************

I’ve got them. Not the Mondays. The “I’ve Only”s. And it gets worse…it seems I have passed them along to my kids.

Little Sister’s school has a fitness challenge going on where the kids run during recess and someone tallies their laps. Once they reach five miles, they get a little keychain charm in the shape of a foot. She was talking to Leader Pam about it today, and I overheard her telling her, “I’ve only run 2 miles.”

Big Sister is getting great grades in high school, which is a relief, because she struggled in middle school. At the beginning of the year, it because she’d “only” had a few assignments, but she’s keeping up with it and we are so proud of her. She’s a great artist, too, but “only” because she had a picture to guide her.

And me. Since giving birth ten and a half weeks ago, I’ve only lost 25 pounds. Since joining Weight Watchers again 9 weeks ago, I’ve only lost 8.6 pounds. I went back to the gym recently, but I’ve only been 6 times in the last three weeks.

Why? Why do we qualify our successes with that word? Why do we make them seem less important, less impressive than they should be? Leader Pam asked the question at my Weight Watchers meeting this morning—why can’t we celebrate our own successes?

For me, it’s because I’m not done yet. I have a hard time seeing the place I came from because I’m looking at how far I have to go. It’s hard to celebrate fitting into regular, not maternity clothes because I’ve still got boxes of clothes I can’t fit into. It’s hard to celebrate losing five or ten pounds because I’m nowhere near where I want to be.

It breaks my heart that my children have picked up on this and started qualifying their own achievements.

So, this week, I’m challenging myself to celebrate the small things and stop demeaning my success. I DID go back to Weight Watchers. I DID go back to the gym. I WILL continue to lose. And I will set a better example for my children while I’m working on it.

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Mine can be qualified in other ways that are limitations, as well. "I've only slept 4 hours...I've only sat for 20 minutes the whole day...I've only..." This type of speech limits me in different ways, as it is still negative in nature. If we could get the word only in its proper place in our vocabulary, I believe that we would have much more power in what we acheive, our attitude, and even how we feel! Let's all strive to put this limiting qualifier back in its place and encourage ourselves for the great things that we DO accomplish!

Crazy Days of Packin' Heat

2010-10-16T16:59:00.000-05:00

I'm packin' heat around here. No, I'm not a member of the NRA. I'm just packing like crazy and it is crazy hot here in Oz. We had 86ish as our high today...Oct 16th...What in the world?!?

Does anyone have ANY idea how difficult it is to pack up SOME of your stuff to live with for who knows how long? How do I know what to take? How do I decide what items to take and what items to leave behind. What if I forget something. What if I make a dumb decision in the midst of the crazies?!? I just don't know what to do. I go into a room and freeze up unsure of where to start and what to do after I've started.

Do I sound like a wreck?

In the packing department, I am.

Life in general, however, is beautiful. Sure, I'm exhausted. Sure, I am outnumbered and sometimes do not have enough appendages with opposable thumbs (might have helped if God gave moms monkey feet...I'm just sayin'). Yes, I miss my other half terribly.

However, life is beautiful. I am feeling good. I am fulfilling my role as mother to 3 with, I believe, more grace than I had anticipated. I get up each morning with joy and I drop into bed with thanksgiving. I have had 3 pregnancies. Twice, I have felt AWFUL for weeks afterwards. This time, when I needed it most, God has blessed me with health both mentally and physically. From the day of his birth until now, I have felt well and I haven't had complaints other than a few minor aches and pains that are to be expected...are normal...NORMAL. I don't typically fit that bill, medically speaking. God has been so gracious to me to grant me good health when I am on my own with 3, packing, getting little sleep, and surviving...no flourishing daily.

So, the questions that I've been asked over and over again that I would like to address now are as follows:
1. Has our house sold?
2. When are we moving?
3. Did Mark get the house we were talking/praying about?
4. How is Keaton?
5. How are the other kids?

1. Our house is past the 100 days on the market mark with no signs of selling any time soon. However, God is sooo much bigger than the economy and we know that it will sell when His timing is perfect.

2. I wish that I had a solid answer to this. Let's combine this with #3. We pretty much have the house. The lady hasn't had showings and is sending him the application, which he will fill out and send her with the deposit. Mark wanted us there next weekend. Not gonna happen. We wanted to be together for our 8th anniversary (Oct 26th), but we're not going to be able to be, I guess. Now, we'll either be going Halloween weekend or the first weekend of November. As soon as I know, I'll be sure to pass the word.

4. Keaton is awesome. He is the best baby. Again, God blessed me with just what I needed in this difficult situation. He is still a very chill baby and he never cries unless he is REALLY hungry. Thank you, Lord, for a calm, contented child when we I needed it most! Mark doesn't get to be included in that because he hasn't experienced the 3-children thing yet. We'll have to initiate him once we get up there. :)

5. The big kids are great. They love their brother so, so much and have adapted well. We still have issues of them messing with him, but I just try to remind myself that they just love him to pieces! Cassie is doing great in preschool and I terribly hate to have to pull her out at the end of the month. Conrey's language skills have exploded to where other people can understand him a lot of the time. It is so great to be able to meet his needs much more effeciently now that we can understand what the heck he's saying!

Welp, that's about it. If anyone out there wants to A) help me pack, B) come play with the kids while I pack, or the best option...choice C) come do all of the packing for me while I enjoy a relaxing trip to the spa, be sure and let me know. I would love any and all help that I can get!

I'll keep you all posted with the details of our lives once I know them. Over and Out.

The Happenings

2010-10-12T11:31:00.000-05:00

So, Mark has a place that is pretty much on hold for us with one exception. The house is on the market. The lady made a deal with the realtor to have no renters for the first 30 days that it is on the market. That should end some time before the end of this month. The lady has tried to sell the house off and on for 10 years. SO, we're not too worried about it going before then. I guess it is a weird floor plan with a bathroom literally in one of the bedrooms or something like that. Plus, 3 bedrooms are on one side of the house and the other is on the complete opposite end (it's a long ranch). We'd use that room as a playroom/office, probably, because it is by the kitchen, livingroom.

Here's the deal, though. Mark hasn't seen the house. He won't see it until the lady is in town towards the end of the month...she lives an hour or 2 away. He is ready for us to make plans to move up there before he even sees it. Seems risky to me to plan on something sight unseen.

SO, if you all would be praying about that decision AND about our house here selling, we would really appreciate it. If the house here would sell, we would just buy something up there and avoid this whole mess of trying to find a place to rent. There are lots of good, cheap houses for sell up there.

Thanks for the prayers that I know you all have and will offer up for us. You've been our rocks through all of this!

And then there were 5...well, kinda...

2010-10-09T13:03:00.001-05:00

You'd think that I'd be plastering this computer with pictures of my sweet one, wouldn't you? Well, not possible. You see, my camera is in Nebraska. Lovely. So, if any of you out there in blog land have pictures of my baby that you can send me, I'd appreciate it. :) I will try to copy and paste some from facebook that my parents have uploaded.

So, we are a family of 5 now, though it doesn't really seem like it with Daddy away. Life this past week has been good, though extremely tiring. I feel like I fairly float through each day. By the end of the day, I just want to crash. At the same time, I know that it will be a short nap before I have to wake up to feed, so it is sometimes hard to make myself go to bed thinking of the next time that I'll have to get up.

My good friend and I were due within 5-1/2 weeks of each other. She has a 3-y-o, a 19-m-o, and an almost 7-week-old. During our pregnancies, we were both praying for contented, laid-back babies for both of us. I cannot speak for her as of late, ;) but I can say that I believe that God has blessed me with just that. Keaton has the BEST disposition. He does not cry unless he is hungry and then it is a very slow progression from talking at me to fussing to crying. He just does not get mad. He sleeps great for a newborn. He's getting up every 2 to 2-1/2 hours, sure, but he falls right back asleep after being fed and changed. He is just a sweet little man and has stolen all of our hearts.

I will leave you with this picture. It is our first family picture as a family of 5. It is from the day after delivery. Cassie and Conrey had been outside, so ignore their crazy hair. I had just delivered a baby the day before, so ignore mine too. :)

Also, I want to show you this side-by-side of Conrey in the hospital and Keaton to see if you see the similarities that everyone else has seen.

First is Conrey and then Keaton. What do you think?

Well, that's all for now. The kids are driving me bonkers about wanting dessert from lunch. Well, not Keaton...he's sleeping peacefully in his swing.

It's about time!

2010-10-09T12:43:00.000-05:00

So sorry for the delay of posting. I know that many of you have been anxious to hear about our labor and delivery...especially after I started updating about it and then quit at 10 in the morning!

So, it wasn't too terribly long after 10:10 that I got my epidural. I knew that the really rough contractions were coming because the pitocin was in full swing. So, I got it and did really well with it.

I got to a 6 and -2 station (you go -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, and then 3 station...3 station is where you're crowning). Anyway, the next time they checked...6 and -2. The next time...6, -2 to -1. The next time...you guessed it...still stuck. Oh, and all of those checks were 70% effaced.

Pretty quickly, I started getting a lot of pain down in the "delivery region" and they gave me a boost of epidural med to help. They checked me just after this and I was at a 7-8. The dr noticed with this check, though, that Keaton was face up and not face down, as he was supposed to be, so he flipped him. I started complaining of a BUNCH of pressure right away, so she checked me again and I was at a 9 and 100%, but still -1 station, which is really high. This was like 2 minutes after the 7-8 check.

The dr was putting on his "gear" by this point. I said, "He's coming!" They said, "Ok....." I said, "He's coming NOW." The nurse lifted the sheet and said, "Yeah, we're crowning, Dr. You probably want to come over here...." From the time I was dialated to 6 until the time he was born was somewhere around 6-1/2 minutes. It was crazy.

After the extra epidural medicine, though, I noticed my pelvis/hips really hurting even though I was completely numb in my legs with no function whatsoever. The nurse said that it was just the bones moving around for baby to pass through. I really didn't believe that because I'd done this twice before and never felt that feeling, but considering the fact that I was in the process of delivering a baby, I didn't argue.

As I pushed him out, the pain severely increased. They got him out and by this time, I was in agony in my hips, pelvis, thighs, calves, and feet...this confirmed that it had nothing to do with the bones moving around for delivery...something was NOT right. I believe by this point I was...not screaming...I'll say loudly proclaiming my discomfort. Moving helped minutely, but remember that I'm completely numb at this point and have no control. My sweet, sweet doctor and my loving, concerned husband are moving my legs around trying to help relieve my pain. I cannot describe it except to say that it was like the most extreme restless leg syndrome I can imagine combined with charlie horses in every inch of my lower half. I was griping the bed rails trying to move myself around to a position that would offer minimal relief, but could find none. The doctor ordered stat valium as a muscle relaxer/sedation. Apparently, by this point I was screaming, because my dad's patient was working in the pharmacy when the stat order was placed and she could hear me screaming in the background and she wasn't even the one ON the phone! They gave me the shot and it did nothing...absolutely nothing.

Needless to say, I was scared and confused as to what was going on. It didn't help that my dr and nurses were at a loss too. My dr had told me earlier in the day that he had delivered over 14,000 babies. Now, he was telling me that he had never seen or heard of anything like this. I kept saying, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I kept my eyes mostly closed because the dr and nurses all had bewildered looks on their faces...especially after the valium failed.

He then ordered a stat order of Toradol, which is a really strong pain reliever in the same family of meds as ibuprofen. Somewhere between that shot and the epidural wearing off, I noticed that I could tolerate my legs being still a second longer than the time before. Then, it was 5 seconds longer. Finally, by the time the med was fully in my system and the epidural was worn off to the point that I could move my legs on my own, the pain was pretty much gone.

I'm not sure if it was the pain med or the lack of epidural meds that made the pain stop or if it was the combination of the two, but either way, I was back to normal and had no lasting effects. It was extremely strange (but I've always claimed to be a girl of medical mysteries...I was severely sick for 6 years and no cause could be found by specialist after specialist) and I would not ever wish it on anyone. I have never had severe pain in completely numb parts of my body before...that is the weirdest part to me. I couldn't feel the shots (I'm feeling them now, boy howdy!). I couldn't feel people touching my legs. I couldn't move them. However, something was sending severe pain signals to my brain.

I finally...FINALLY got to see my baby boy. I really hadn't to this point because I was thrashing around in the bed like a psychopath. My nurse actually told me that she was waiting for my head to start spinning! :) Anyway, he was all cleaned up and wrapped up and all before I ever got to see him or hold him. Instant gratification for all that I'd endured when I laid eyes on that boy. I must say that he was and is one of the prettiest babies I've seen. Everyone commented that he did NOT look newborn. I think that it was because he had no time to be squished in the birth canal. He was only in the birth canal for a total of about 4 minutes. In that moment of gazing into his little eyes, I dare say that I fell in love for the 4th time.

Did I mention that my 1st love was there with me the whole time. He was my strength and my focus through it all. I truly do not know what would have happened had he not been there. I might have been hysterical. But, the good Lord provided what I needed, as always, and he was by my side.

So, that's the long story of my delivery (really post-delivery is where all of the action was). If you're one of my preggo friends, don't let it freak you out. Remember...my dr has delivered over 14,000 and never seen OR heard of anything like this. My poor, poor nurse was 13 weeks along with her first and I dare say she'll be thinking about my delivery as she approaches hers.

More updates to come on life with 3

Home Free

2010-10-03T19:02:00.001-05:00

We are home. I promise to update soon. Thanks for all of the prayers and FB comments and all!

10:10 a.m.

2010-10-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

Dialated 4 70% -2.

Started

2010-10-01T09:16:00.000-05:00

Pitocin was started at 8:45. I've already been contracting all morning, so maybe this will be short! :) When they checked me, I was 2-2.5, 50%, -2...not any difference from Wednesday. Guess that's about it!

Showtime

2010-10-01T07:14:00.000-05:00

We're checked in. I'm in a lovely gown (but at least its green...my favorite color). We're sitting and waiting for our nurse to return. Her password to log in was expired. Please don't let this be a sign of the day ahead. :) Stay tuned!

Labor Eve

2010-09-30T15:54:00.000-05:00

My husband is on the road.

My in-laws will be leaving KC shortly.

My baby is hours away from breathing his first breath...truly his first breath of life.

My daughter is excited to see her daddy, her grandparents, and to meet her baby brother.

My son is already feeling the changes that are about to occur saying that he doesn't want baby Keaton to come out.

So much to happen in the next 24-48 hours and beyond.

Overwhelming.

The Final Days of Pregnancy

2010-09-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

So, as I explained before, I'm a bundle of emotions. I have my good moments and my bad moments. Church is sometimes pretty difficult because of all of the "well intentioned" people that make comments about how big I am, how I need to get that baby out, or "you still haven't had that baby?!?" I know that they all mean well, but most of it is very counterproductive and/or discouraging when you're a blimp. Today, however, was a good day for me. I felt pretty decent and was able to smile and honestly tell people that I was doing well. I was also able to let the comments roll off of my back without bothering me...both of those considerable accomplishments, I would say, at 38 weeks, 4 days pregnant!

As I approach induction day, I am also conflicted on wanting to pray that I go into labor beforehand and wanting to not go into labor beforehand so that Mark doesn't miss the big event. From my 2 past experiences of natural labor and induced labor, being induced sucks big time. I would say that the pain involved was about 300% more severe being induced than natural. I always said that I would never, ever be induced again. Never say never, right? However, circumstances have changed my plan and my mind. I want so badly to be done, but I don't want to wish or pray for that, because I feel selfish...that means that Mark would miss it. It's a tough spot to be in.

Also, approaching labor and delivery, I've noticed a big change in my kiddos. They are driving me nuts, actually. Conrey has become aggressive and Cassie has become an emotional wreck much of the time. She cries over anything and everything. Conrey does all kinds of things to rial (sp?) her up and to destroy things. It's been fun...let me tell ya......

Along with the emotions, sitting has become quite uncomfortable thanks to my iron intake. I'll leave it at that.

All in all, we're ready to be done...all of us. We're ready to see Mark and we're ready to meet Keaton. So, sometime within the next 5 days or so, we'll be holding him and loving on him. Prayers are, of course, petitioned! :)

Let the Countdown BEGIN!

2010-09-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

One Week. From tomorrow, that is.

One week from tomorrow, at the very latest, I will be holding Keaton James in my arms instead of lugging him around in my belly. We are scheduled for induction October 1st if he has not yet made his way into this world. The thought is overwhelming with the multitude of emotions that accompany it.

Excitement

Elation

Trepidation

Anxiety

Relief

Fear

Joy

Sorrow

Discomfort

Impatience

Patience

Peace

Exhaustion

Expectation

Anticipation

I'm going from 2 to 3. I don't have that many hands, eyes, or arms. Someone is going to be left out, overlooked, and/or will have to wait.

I get to meet my little man after a loooong pregnancy.

I get to be with my husband soon!

I will experience the joy of watching my two big kids fall in love with their little brother.

Will they? Will they love him and care for him and protect him? Will they resent him and hit him and try to punish him for taking over?

I will watch the world change for my sweet Conrey Graham. No longer will he be the baby...the spotlight. It breaks my heart. Momma's sweet baby isn't such a baby anymore and he'll have to grow up even more once there is a baby around.

I am living in the mode of expectation right now. What was that twinge? How many contractions have I had? Was the my water breaking? It is both exciting and frustrating. The anticipation of each moment is overwhelming.

And yet, I can sit and be still and know that God already knows the minute of his birth. God has it all under control and I just have to TRUST. I can be still and rest in the peace that I've had. Sure, I hurt like crazy all over. Sure, I want him out. But, I can still say that I am at peace with my Lord who is orchestrating it all. All of those emotions are human and okay to be feeling. However, they aren't so overwhelming when I realize that God knows each one. He has been tempted and tried in every way and He overcame. If He was stronger than those emotions in the flesh, He can certainly help me overcome them in the spirit.

Dear Lord,

I ask that you give me an unending supply of your peace, your rest, and your assurance. I ask that you be with my sweet, baby boy through the remainder of this pregnancy, delivery, and really throughout his life. Right now, though, my focus is on the present in the next few weeks to come. Protect him. Give him strength, health, and the breath of life that only you can breathe into his tiny lungs. Help our labor and delivery to go smooth, to be timely, and to be nothing but pure joy as we act out the pattern of life that you have established. Be with the doctor and help him to be sure of hand and quick to action if need be. Be with the nurses and help them to nurture us through this process and to make good choices for baby Keaton and myself. Be with my support people as I do this with or without my husband. Help them to keep focus on the matter at hand, the situation, and the needs that Keaton and I have. Keep Mark safe as he travels here whether it be in a rush or in order to be here for the induction. Give Cassie and Conrey understanding, gentleness, and joy. Fill their little hearts with love for their brother.

I ask much, Lord. I know that you will provide and will protect our baby boy, myself, and my husband. Thank you for being all that you are so that we might live to a higher standard in your shadow. We love you, Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

40-Year Legacy

2010-09-20T20:07:00.000-05:00

The average length of marriage right now for my parents' generation is 24 years. Saturday, my parents celebrated their 40th anniversary. Sunday, we had a reception for them to honor their legacy of love, laughter, life, and family. Sorry..."family" broke the alliteration. :) Anyway, it was a looooong week for me with the planning, preparation, and then actually pulling off the reception, but it was definitely worth it.

We started out with the reception as a surprise, but then my oldest brother, Derin, decided that mom needed preparation and time to shop for something to wear, etc. :) So, we told them about it. What mom DIDN'T know is that my brother, Dustin, was going to fly in for the occasion. Dad knew about this. What neither of them DID know, however, is that he was bringing his littlest little angel, Kiera, with him. She is 6 months old and therefore, free to fly. We were all sad that his whole family couldn't come, but at 500 bucks a ticket, it wasn't possible. We were all thrilled to get to spend time with him and sweet little Kiera. They left to go back today.

The reception had a great turn out and we were so pleased that so many people came out to honor my parents and their 40 years together. It is a huge accomplishment that has been done with prayer, committment, likemindedness, having God as a foundation, blood, sweat, and tears.

Congratulations to my wonderful parents who have left a legacy for us to pattern.

TERM!

2010-09-14T22:18:00.000-05:00

So, we've hit full term with this pregnancy...well, as of tomorrow, that is. HALLELUJAH and AMEN! He is definitely preparing himself for the big event. He has shifted into a different position to where I cannot see my belly button unless I lean waaaaay over. That is different than yesterday. Also, I feel a huge pressure/ache on the underside of my belly with this shift of distribution. I feel like I would like to just set my belly on a shelf. That would be helpful, I do believe. :) He still moves an incredible amount for a baby of this size. They say that he should have slowed down by now due to lack of space, but he apparently didn't get the memo. What can I expect, though, from a baby that I felt move for the first time at 13-1/2 stinkin' weeks! He's a wild one!

I've been trying to prepare the kids...well, Cassie really...for the big day as far as different ways that it can happen. I wanted her to be somewhat prepared in case my water breaks. I told her long ago that he's in a swimming pool that is like a bag of water with him inside. I have recently explained to her that it could break and all of the water would come out like it did when she came out of my tummy. She thinks it's cool and I think she's hoping to see that happen. I've told her that mommy might be in a lot of pain. I've told her that she'll be with someone else (and have told her the options of whom she might be staying with depending on day or night, etc.). I've explained that she might wake up to me gone, but that someone else would be here. I've tried to cover as many bases as I could come up with so that she's comfortable with things. Most of all, I've just tried to play up when she gets to come up to the hospital to meet her brother and that Daddy will be coming home again. Those are the 2 best parts! :)

Conrey is clueless and I feel sad that his little world is about to be turned upside down. He is SUCH a mommy's boy and there is no way around the change that is coming. I will just have to do my best to make it as smooth of a transition for him as possible (and for sister, of course). He is not fond of sharing mommy with anyone at ALL, so it could be interesting!

So, he can safely come at any time and I will be more than happy for him to come sooner than later. Be watching for updates that he's on his way!

Potty Training

2010-09-11T22:34:00.001-05:00

So, I just wanted to put a little something about our potty training. It is going really well for the lack of effort on mommy's part. Conrey is doing a great job of remembering to go and of staying dry. Mommy, however, forgets to ask him a lot and therefore he does have accidents. I mean, he's not even 2-1/2! He loves wearing Pull-Ups. The disappearing pictures are great incentives for him. However, I plan to switch to undies this week and see how that goes. I just don't have it in me to be on the floor scrubbing pee right now with my big belly! He wakes up from naps dry and nighttime every 2-3 days he's dry. The others in between he's wet, but that's probably my fault since he takes a drink to sleep. Well, really Daddy's fault for starting that with Cassie, but..........

[EDIT] We've had a few setbacks today and a triumph. He kept saying he needed to pee pee and I was tired of sitting in the bathroom for hours on end. He won't use the potty chair, so I couldn't just bring it with us wherever we went. There is no comfortable place for an almost-37-weeks pregnant lady to sit in a bathroom. So, I told him to just go sit and try. I heard a strange splashy noise and looked up from where I was sitting in his bedroom. He was standing on his little stool peeing with all his might into and on the potty! I was so proud of him for taking the intiative...though I had a nice little mess to clean up! He has peed in undies twice today. Once, he was standing next to the potty. What in the world? He just didn't want to go on the potty. He had just woken up and was a grump. The second time was on my sheets. Yay for that. Guess who's getting clean sheets tonight?!? That's my update on potty training.

Along the same line of toilet talk, Cassie randomly dunked her head in the toilet last night. I don't know why. I don't know how, really... Strange girl. Who would ever think of doing such a random thing. We don't have TV anymore, so I'm fairly certain that she didn't see that on anything. We only watched Nick Jr. and PBS anyway. So, she gave herself a swirly. Hopefully, it will be the only one she ever gets.

I guess that's it. I just wanted to update on the potty training and say that he's doing well. I'm off to bed. Peace out.

No, wait. First, I want to remember 9/11. I know that we all will always remember what we were doing, where we were, how we felt, etc. when we heard about it. Don't forget. Tell your children. Pray for those people and their families when you remember. Take a stand as a Christian in this great nation. Cassie has recently learned The Pledge and my heart swells with pride to hear it from her little mouth. ONE NATION. UNDER GOD. JUSTICE FOR ALL!!!

An unknown peace

2010-09-09T11:26:00.000-05:00

So, I've done this pregnant thing twice before. Both times previously, I have been dying...DYING to get the baby out by this point. I am 36 weeks, 1 day as of today. Typically, I am gearing up with all of the natural induction methods to try to get baby out as soon as 37 weeks hits. Nothing has ever worked for me that early. In fact, the only self-induction that HAS worked was the castor oil with Cassie at 39 weeks 2 days. I tried it again with Conrey and puked after the first drink. Just thinking about it makes my stomach churn.

So, anyway, I was driving to my OB appointment yesterday and I thought to myself, "It doesn't really matter what he tells me today after checking me. In fact, why is he going to check me. It won't really make any difference."

For a reason unexplainable to me, I have received, without thinking to ask, I might add, the peace that passes all understanding. I am not in a rush any longer. I mean, don't get me wrong, if he came sooner rather than later, I will certainly not be complaining. However, I don't feel the need to get my arsenal ready. I don't feel like I need to eat an entire pineapple. I don't feel as though I need to be pushing all of the pressure points or other awkward go-into-labor things.

I just feel like he'll come when he's ready and that timing will be right. SO not my feelings the last 2 times.

I can only explain this one way. For the past year and a half, we have been cruising down the highway of God's timing not knowing when or where our journey would lead, but just trusting like we never have before. It has been scary, yes. It has been trying, yes. We have tried to get off at exits not intended for us and it has gotten us quite lost, but we always managed to find our way back (well, we had to be led back, of course...we're not THAT smart). I truly believe that this is what has allowed me to receive this peace that God has offered. I'm not doing things on my terms or timing, but simply trusting the master of the universe whom is, afterall, creating this little boy within me every second of every day. It's so foreign to me that I am kind of bursting with joy over it.

Two Sundays ago at church, by the time I walked out of the building, I was in tears. I have been soooooooooo tired of people asking when I'm due and then freaking out when I say how long I have left. I'm tired of the twins comments. I'm tired of the "are they sure they have your due date right?" questions.

Last night, I had a completely different perspective. People would ask how I was doing and I'd tell them honestly that I'm doing well! Sometimes I would add in how tired I am, but what pregnant lady ISN'T tired? What mom of 2 isn't tired??? However, it was just so refreshing to say that I'm doing well and mean it! It is just such a different perspective. I have my normal aches and pains that are associated with end-stage pregnancy, but they are manageable...they are tolerable...they aren't nearly as bad as they could be!

I know I'm rambling. Sorry. I probably have said the same things over and over. I just cannot describe the joy that has accompanied the peace.

God has most definitely used some close people in my life to encourage, uplift, and root for me. Yes, even those that think that they haven't been a good support for me have kept me going and have helped me get to this point. With the help of a fellow (formerly) preggo, we decided that we will not succumb to the control of hormones ruling our attitude, mood, and way we treat our spouses and children. God made those hormones and we choose to let Him shine through us even when we want to scream at our children (or when we are weak and DO scream at our children and then need a time-out, to apologize to our precious babies, and refocus). We choose to not allow society to lead us to believe that we have the right to behave as we choose when we are hormonal and everyone else just has to deal with it. God did not make them to give every female a grouch pass, but to allow our bodies to do amazing and beautiful things. So, today, along with my joy and peace, I will practice love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentless, and self-control with my children, my family, and my friends in spite of the fact that I'm exhausted after little sleep, I have a pressure-y head, and have to get the house ready for a showing before my baby shower. I will rest in His promises of daily supplication and in the peace that is so foreign to me, yet so welcome.

Sorry for the long, babbly post. Hopefully, it made some sense somewhere in there.

So, whether baby Keaton comes out tonight while at my shower *smile* or somewhere in the next 4 or so weeks, I will do my best to continue to dwell within His sphere of peace.

*I wanted to add a disclaimer that I absolutely believe that hormones can do things that are not in a woman's control and that it is a difficult battle for many. I don't want to discount the struggle that we all go through with hormones. I simply choose for this moment to overcome them through GOD'S help. God has provided medications for some that need it...counseling for others...great friends for, I pray, all of us. I just didn't want anyone to think that I was being condesending. If I ever had depression or other hormonal issues, I would not be afraid to seek help, so I just wanted to make that clear!

Back to Life...Back to Reality

2010-09-06T21:36:00.000-05:00

The reality is that Daddy went back to Nebraksa and that Baby Keaton will, Lord willing, be here safe and sound SOON!

Yes, Mark made it home safe and sound. Thank the Lord for that. We had a good weekend with a few stresses. Overall, though, it was good to get hugs and kisses whenever I wanted them and for the kids to enjoy Daddy so, so much!

This morning, my dad said, "Conrey, where is your Daddy?" His response was, "Nebraksa. Choo-Choo Trains." I thought that that was pretty smart for such a little guy!

Today, I am 35 weeks, 5 days. In one week and 2 days, I will be full term. There are times when I look back at this pregnancy and feel that it has draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaged on. However, I think of the fact that I'm that close to term and only 1 month today away from my due date and I almost cannot believe I'm so close! I am so anxious to have this section of our lives behind us. This separation has been tough! Willing it to hurry by is so bittersweet because I don't want to leave my family and dear friends, but at the same time. However, we NEED to be together as a family as soon as possible!

Well, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Daddy's trip home is over and done and we're back to the reality of what has been normal for us for over 5 weeks now. We will not have to wait that long again and we'ew ALL happy about that!

A Mommy Moment (or 2)

2010-09-02T17:09:00.001-05:00

So, Cassie started preschool this week, as you all know. If I had had the time, the pictures would be already uploaded to go with this post. Unfortunately, that is not the case. My entire Thursday (today) was spent at the hospital, but we'll get back to that... Anyway, thanks to my sweet friend, Kelly, I actually HAVE pictures of her first day of school, but they are still on her camera waiting to be uploaded. Mark has our camera in Nebraska. Bad planning on my part.

So, she walks up to her class. We hang up her backpack. She stands by the classroom door for an obligatory picture. She walked in and never looked back...

I stood there for a moment trying to figure out what to do. I weakly called out, "Have fun..." She never turned around, but went to join one of her best friends, Xander, on the rug with the other kids. I thought to myself, "Well, I guess I'll be going then......................"

We work and work to get our kids to do things independently; getting dressed, walking, feeding themselves, playing with others. Then, when it is time to turn them lose, we must struggle against the tether that ties them straight into our heart.

No, I did not cry. I figured, if she's not, why should I?

When I picked her up, before she even got to the classroom door, she called out, "MOMMY! You were RIGHT! Preschool IS so much fun!!!" My heart soared as she reconnected that tether and began describing he day in detail.

*********************

[WARNING: POSSIBLE TMI AHEAD]

My other mommy moment was the day spent at the hospital. Started out this morning with fluid that ran down both legs. Concerning in pregnancy? Quite possibly. I was not concerned, but was curious as to the origin of said fluid. I called up to the dr's office on the advice of several and said that I didn't think it was, but thought I should call anyway, etc. Of course, what do they say (and why do I even bother calling them)? You need to go to the hospital.

*sigh*

I get there and it is quite a long process before the nurse gets around to testing me. Negative. However, in that long process time, I start contracting a lot. No biggie at first, but I find myself contracting harder and harder and closer and closer as the minutes tick by. By the time the 15-minute test finally comes back negative, my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and were really pretty painful. I'm not talking this-baby-is-crowning painful, but enough that it would bring tears to my eyes occasionally. Then, I started having some super duper contractions that were lasting 4-5 minutes WITHOUT A BREAK!!!!!!! I was NOT lovin' that! That did all kinds of tests with a urinalysis, various swabs, etc. to see what was causing this. Answer? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Negatory. Have I ever mentioned that I'm a medical freak? Well, I am. BUT, at least I'm not a flesh-eating bacteria freak like my brother. *ahem* The severity of my anemia has never been explainable. I was sick for nearly 6 years with no diagnosis. Now this. Love it. Nothing like hearing, "We don't know what's causing this, but......."

Anyway, bad contractions for several hours. I then get up to potty (for the 3rd time) and when I get back in bed, they start to slow and decrease in intensity quite rapidly. Soon, I am no longer contracting but once every 30 minutes or so and they are not even bad enough to make me quit talking.

So, negative tests plus no contractions equals no reason for the hospital to keep you longer! WOO HOO! I'm home now and am enjoying the lovely, chilly, fall-like weather! It is currently 68 degrees here...perfect for a big 'ol pregnant lady!

Thanks to everyone that knew what was going on and prayed. Let's just keep him in here for 1 week and 6 days longer until 37 weeks to be on the safe side!

Title not necessary

2010-08-29T19:12:00.001-05:00

I. Am. Done.

I'm done with the separation.

I'm done with the gallbladder attacks.

I'm done with the house payments.

I'm done with not sleeping.

I'm done feeling lonely.

I'm done with people telling me that: a) I should have had this baby by now, b) when in the world am I gonna have this baby, and c) that I'm huge and/or look like I'm having twins.

I'm done with the financial struggles. We've done it for 16 months.

I'm done with having no energy because my body is losing iron at an alarming rate...again...

I'm done feeling like I have to have a strong/brave face for everyone around me.

I'm tired of talking to my husband on the phone at night instead of him being beside me.

I'm done wrestling the kids at church by myself.

I'm done with the heat.

I'm done with my husband and I living separate lives.

I'm done with headaches.

I'm done with not being able to walk when I get up from lying down/sitting.

I. Am. Done.

Ironically, the only thing that I'm not feeling over done with is the pregnancy. It stinks not sleeping, but that's not going to change when baby comes. I certainly have aches and pains, but he's actually very well contained in there and, for the time being, I am just fine with him hanging out in there. Besides, I want to have this coming weekend with my husband and then want him to come back to visit. I don't want to be jipped of that second visit. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments when I am done, but for now, I will take the self-containment that is my womb.

However, I don't have the luxury of being done. I don't have the luxury of throwing in the towel. I have two precious kids that are depending on me; two precious kids that are gracious about my impatience. I have two precious kids that count on me to get out of bed each day; two precious kids that count on me to bathe, dress, and nurture them. I have two precious kids that get me to get up for church; two precious kids that are dependent on me to drive them to church and then train them how to sit properly in church.

They may not understand all of the stresses that make me act the way I do, but they love me regardless of my attitude, my tone, or my lack of energy. They give me hugs and kisses at just the right time. That makes it bearable for 5 more minutes. The snuggles and giggles make things bearable for 5 more hours. The excitement of this week with Cassie meeting her teacher and starting school will make things bearable for 5 more days. That's all I have to make it this round...5 more days until my helpmeet/partner/best friend/love/biggest support holds me in his arms and tells me that we'll make it through. As long as I don't think about his departure, I can make it through the week for the two precious kids, the precious, precious baby that I carry, and my husband who is working hard to turn things around for our family.

Five days until I get a recharge.

Five Days.

Such a BIG girl!

2010-08-26T10:04:00.000-05:00

I am so, so proud of my Cassie girl and had to shout it on my blog! She got FOUR nasty shots yesterday. There were 2 nurses, so it was 2 poking times with 2 shots each. Her eyes got really big and she whimpered, but she didn't cry. Then, when they were done, she said, "That's it?" Her legs were pretty sore last night and they have been today, but overall, she's doing amazingly well! I'm very proud of her!

Monday, I'll take her to meet her teacher and then Wednesday, she starts preschool! I can't believe she's that age, but she's definitely ready! I just hope that we don't have meltdowns when mommy tries to leave.

ONE WEEK from tomorrow is when Daddy gets to come home for a brief visit. As you can imagine, we are all BEYOND excited! The kids think he's coming 1 week from Saturday, because he won't get it until 2 a.m. Saturday, but I'm still counting it as Friday for MY sake! :) We are just about to die to see each other. Cassie is counting down the days big time!

Well, that's it. We have a big week ahead of us. Sometime before Wednesday, we have to get some school shoes and get her backpack packed up. Can't wait for that first day of school picture!!!

Nesting already?

2010-08-24T12:29:00.000-05:00

I sure hope not! I don't have the energy to do this for 6 more weeks! I just can't sit still. In fact, just taking a break to write this is killing me as I think about all of the things that I want to get done today. What in the world?!? For those of you who know me, this is not typical WHATsoever. So, either I'm nesting already which will make for a really tiring 6 weeks or we're going to have a showing in the next few days and God is just putting a proverbial fire under my proverbial butt to get things in order. Either way, I'm pooped!

We had a really loud, long thunderstorm this morning. It was one of those where it is constant lightning and thunder. I already couldn't sleep and then that lasted for over 2 hours (of when I was finally asleep, of course). I wasn't nervous of it or anything...it was just loud! At least the kids slept through it, though! I think that I probably slept 3 hours total.

Add that to the cleaning/organizing/nesting and I'm exhausted!!!!!!!!

The kids are currently having a picnic on the livingroom floor watching Cinderella. It is my all-time favorite Disney movie and they seem to be enjoying it quite a bit, though I don't know if Cassie's food has even been touched yet! :)

Today is my hubby's birthday. I wanted to say a thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you that sent him cards. He was overwhelmed and blessed by all that he's already received. I hope that his mailbox is full again today! As of yesterday, he had received 17 cards!

I haven't really said much about the kids lately that wasn't Daddy-related, so I'll leave with a little update on each of them:

Cassie is amazing me with all that she has learned lately. She now sings the books of the New Testament and I am so, so proud of her! She wanted to learn it and asked me to sing it several times. Now, she does it on her own quite well! She also has been doing memory work including John 3:16 (at church) and Phil 4:13 (at home). She has a passion for scripture, it seems, and my heart could not be happier! She starts preschool a week from tomorrow and is thrilled. She is even willing to get shots just so that she can go to school! She will be going to a Christian preschool and I hope that her love for letters, words, and scripture will be greatly nourished! Oh, yeah, she has started sounding words out, too. She read cat, dog, God, bat, and Keaton the other day.

Conrey amazes me often, as well. He, too, sings the books of the Bible. It is difficult to understand, but he is, indeed, saying them. His favorite is to say, "PEEEETUH!" You can tell by certain syllables of each one that he is doing his best to say the correct word. He has started saying things like, "Sure," which I always think is cute. He has become quite ornery and pesty towards Cassie and myself. He tries to irritate her, that is for sure! He'll grab 1 thing from whatever she's playing with and run off with it. He'll come up and pull her hair and then run away. Such a naughty little brother!!! :) The thing that we've had to work on lately, though, is that whenever he gets mad at me, he tries to hit or kick my belly. He knows that I'm protective of it and tries to make me mad back!

Keaton is still "tall." I feel like he might reach his little hand right out sometimes as he pushes and pokes. Not my favorite feeling. I have an appointment tomorrow where my dr will check me. Not my favorite feeling either. :)

Well, that's it on the kiddos, but I wanted to give a shout out to an ADORABLE baby boy that made his way into this world Sunday, Mr. Seth. He is beautiful and has the sweetest dimples! So happy for the Tysons on their new nugget!

A little reminder

2010-08-23T12:24:00.000-05:00

On the way to church yesterday, God used the mouth of my 4-year-old daughter to remind me of His role in our situation.

Cassie: "Momma, so, Daddy is all alone up in Nebraska?"

Me: "Yes. He misses us very much!"

Cassie with an ornery twinkle in her eye: "NO HE'S NOT!!! God is ALWAYS with him!!!"

She was pretty proud of herself for "catching" me with this one. I confirmed the absolute truth of her statement and reminded myself that indeed, God is not only with us every second of our separation, but His hand is orchestrating our future including when we'll get to be together again, when Keaton will be born, and when the move will happen.

Thank you, Lord, for using our precious babes as your best messengers!!!

Mommy with a broken heart

2010-08-21T00:36:00.000-05:00

My daughter is having a tough, tough time. It is, obviously, making it tougher on me, but I know that I understand the situation, that I was part of the decision making, and that I have a much better concept of time than she does. I just feel so heartbroken for her and am not sure how to help her.

She has had several breakdowns in the past several days. Wednesday, I believe it was, she was just sobbing her little eyes out when she called to tell Mark goodnight. She had her eyes squeezed as tight as she could with tears streaming down her little face.

This morning, she woke up crying. She came and got in bed with me and all she could say was, "Daddy....." She cried for Daddy a few other times throughout the day. Finally, she said, "Mommy, you wanna know why I cried this morning? I dreamed that we were in our new church in Nebraska and I looked and looked for my Daddy. I finally found him, yelled 'DADDY!' and ran up to him and gave him lots of hugs and kisses! But, then I woke up and it wasn't real life at all..."

It was almost enough for me to head to the airport to buy the next available tickets to our new town. It seriously rocked my world and made me realize just how deeply this was affecting my baby girl. I know full well that God has led us to this opportunity, this situation, the church there, and the job. I know that He is looking at the big picture and that His timing is perfect, though we don't understand. I understand that this difficult situation will give us all a bright, bright future. My baby girl, however, just knows that she can't see her daddy. She doesn't know when she'll get to again. She doesn't understand the why's of the situation. I don't know how to help her understand. I don't know that she could understand if I tried.

She's hurting and there is nothing that I can do in this moment to help her. I am doing my best to heap on the love, care, and extra attention. Beyond that, I'm at a loss.

This is only temporary and I believe that God would NOT have led us to this situation if it was to harm us or our children. I believe that He holds the future and that He provides the bread we need for today...not tomorrow, but for today and that is sufficient because He will provide for tomorrow when it comes. I just hope and pray that my little one is getting her daily strength from my great God and that that is sufficient to sustain her. In the name of Jesus, dear Lord, please protect my little girl's heart and mind from the evil one so that she might have your peace throughout the rest of this trial.

33 week doctor's appointment

2010-08-20T08:39:00.000-05:00

So, I had my appointment today. It was scheduled for 2:50. I saw him around 4:45. Fun. I don't normally talk to the people in the waiting room. Today was different. I know about the due date, gender, and pregnancy complications of about 10 different women. The girl that started the conversations was quite...um...animated...to put it mildly. We knew about every detail of her pregnancy including the fact that she's lost, LOST 45 lbs throughout the pregnancy.

I finally got back there and as I'm waiting for the dr, start to feel the onset of a gallbladder attack. Great. When he finally comes in, we talk about my near accident at the beginning of the week, my gallbladder issues, and ongoing contractions, which have been really painful back contractions all day today with a few good belly ones here and there. Anyway, he goes to measure me and his eyebrows go up. He listens to the baby and then sits on his stool with his laptop to document.

"Well, you are pretty big..... *long pause* I think that we've got a tall baby...... *long pause* How big were your other 2?"

I told him 8 lbs and 8 lbs 9 oz., both 5 days early. "What did I measure today?"

"A little over 37. You're 33 weeks?" I nodded. "Well, I think that you're on track to have at least that big of a baby, but probably bigger. I think he's tall."

Ok...at that point, I'm thinking to myself, "Is that like telling a girl that she's 'big boned?'" From his demeanor and wording, it seemed that he was pretty surprised at the change. I had been measuring 2 or so weeks big for awhile (down from 3 when we first started measuring). That was just 2 weeks ago that I was 2 weeks big. Now, all of the sudden, it's 4 and his measuring was accurate...he checked it twice.

So, now I have an explanation for why I feel so miserable and have so much pressure...I'm the size of a woman who is about to have her baby. The joy of the situation is that I get to carry this guy for 6 or so more weeks. Yipee....

But, he's healthy. He seems to be happy. He's being knit by the hands of the great creator.

So, though I'm feeling like this guy is ready to come out, I will be patient because I know that God is forming him just right in accordance with His design.

Now, if only I had a husband here..... :)

TRYING NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP

2010-08-13T19:18:00.000-05:00

Mark told me that he might get to come home for labor day weekend. I am SO trying not to get my hopes up! It would be pretty much right in the middle of our separation AND would be the weekend just before my 30th birthday. OH MYLANTA! I think that it would be JUST the pick-me-up that I need at that point! But, I am not going to get my hopes up. I am not going to look forward to it. I am not going to plan on it. I'm just going to go with the flow and pray about it. *sigh* Easier said than done...

Summertime Reds

2010-08-12T16:54:00.000-05:00

I've got the summertime blues, but they're actually the summertime reds. It is SOOOO hot that I find my face beet red quite often. It is so hot that I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. If it weren't for my 2 favorite munchkins, my fellow miserable preggo with her munchkins, and my mom, I would probably just hide in the house, thermal curtains drawn, laying around doing nothing 24/7. It is miserable hot out there. We were in this pool this morning. I seriously doubt if either of us moved more than 5 feet in any direction the entire time we were in there. We're both worn out and I feel like I swam laps in an Olympic-sized pool. Seriously! The heat is just overwhelming. I've never handled heat very well in the first place. Add the 50% extra blood pumping through my veins, the 30 lbs of extra weight strapped to my abdomen, and the record highs this summer, and you've got a preggo that is struggling to stay active! I am just thankful that I have those motivating factors keeping me going, because without them, I might just be sleeping this summer away!

I seriously do not remember EVER being as hot in my entire life as I have been this summer.

So, in an effort to maintain my sanity and to stay as cool as possible, I'm asking all of you in bloggity land to share any cooooool ideas or suggestions. Anything that you recommend for staying cool in the summer that is fun, tasty, etc? Recipes are always welcome! :)

A bit of advanced warning

2010-08-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

Mark's birthday is coming up Aug 24. I was hoping to flood him with birthday cards. Obviously, I'm not going to post his address online for the world to see, but if you would like to send him a birthday card, I will be more than happy to share his address with you.

In Mark news, he was on the locomotives for the first time today. He learned a lot and it was very interesting. He got to see them do some pretty cool stuff, too. His left heel is really torn up from his new boots. The right one hasn't bothered him a bit, but the left one has made him raw, bleeding, and in a lot of pain. He HAS to wear the boots every day, so he's not sure how he's going to get it to heal up with the constant irritation. He had the boot shop rework the back of it. Since it was already injured, though, it still made it worse today even with the improvements. If you'd pray for healing with that, I would appreciate and I know he would too!

Weekends are pretty rough for him right now being all alone and having nothing to do. Saturdays stretch on forever. If your hubby is a friend of his, a call on any Saturday might do him a lot of good.

Overall, he's doing great, though. I'm so proud of my husband. I know he reciprocates the feeling. We're both in a tough situation right now and we've never felt closer, though we're 9 hours apart. Thanks for the continued prayers!

Ready or NOT!

2010-08-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

It has hit me. I'm about to have another child. Suddenly, 8 weeks doesn't sound like much. Suddenly, the thought of going through the baby phase again is stifling...heavy...hard to accept.

Don't get me wrong, I am READY to be done and I am READY to meet my baby and love him SO much.

I just am not mentally prepared to nurse him full-time. I'm not ready for the diapers, sleeplessness, and 100% dependence.

ON. ME.

I think that that is why it is suddenly a burden to think about.

It's all on me.

Yes, I know that I have multitudes of people that are there for me and whom will be very helpful, but that's not the same as my husband who lives with me and helps me and comforts me.

The parenting...that's all me.

Wow. It's all coming whether I'm ready or not. My question is this: How do you GET ready for all of that? Seriously? I have no answer.

****************************************

On a somewhat unrelated note, my baby boy has turned into a bully. He bullies his friends. He bullies his sister. He tries to bully me. He is still the most loving little boy I've ever known when he wants to be. Other times, he tries to kick baby Keaton because he's mad at me. He has been hitting, kicking, and biting...mainly his sister. He is slooooowly learning that hitting mommy is a baaaaaaaaad idea. But, he still hits me quite a bit. His Bible class teacher told me that he was hitting his friends a couple of weeks ago. I never thought that HE would become THAT kid. He has always been the lovey friend. The only thing that I can figure is that it is because of all of the transitions and now Daddy isn't here to be the strong male enforcer. Don't get me wrong, I do NOT let him get by with it, but I'm not respected the same way that Daddy is.

Any advice from you bloggity friends? I need him to be back to his old self before baby brother comes. I'm afraid that that is not going to happen. He is learning independence and, for some reason, this is how he is choosing to display it. *sigh* I want my baby boy back!

Mark is doing well. He is excited to get to be on the tracks working Monday. Thank you for all of your prayers for him. Please keep them heavenbound. They are working and appreciated!

Preparation @ 31 weeks

2010-08-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

So, I've decided that I'd best start at least THINKING about preparing for this baby or he's going to sneak up on me and I'll have nothing done! Luckily, I thought at the last moment...the morning Mark left...to have him get the bassinet and bouncer down from where he had stored them on the ceiling of the garage. WHEW! Dodged the "baby has nowhere to sleep" bullet! Today, I bought a couple of different types of pacis and I also found some 'paci wipes.' I'm of the "take 5 pacies with you in case one falls on the floor" school of thought. I DEFINITELY don't put the paci in my mouth to "clean" it. I typically don't take the time to go wash the offended paci. I typically just put it in the dirty bag and get a new one. So, I think that the paci wipes will help. Anyway, I picked out 3 different types of pacis. One is "nipple shaped." I thought that that was...um...awkward. Couldn't they come up with some better explanation than that? I hope and pray that this baby loves his paci as much as his siblings did.

I ordered my diaper bag this weekend and it is set to be delivered today! I'm super excited! With Cassie, I had a great, girlie, froo-froo bag. With Conrey, we were on a VERY tight budget and I got one that was like $10. This is a 2-in-1 bag with a diaper clutch and a paci pod. I'm just so excited! Since Conrey is still in diapers and needs a bag, the 2-in-1 feature should be quite handy! I can't wait to get it, load it up, and have a convienent, handy bag!

I haven't purchased diapers yet, but can I get an amen to how precious newborn diapers are??? I am just so excited to compare them to Conrey's big 'ol 5's and just oooh and aaah over how tiny they are! For my newborns, I am definitely a Swaddler's mom. I think that they do the best and I think that they smell like baby.

Finally, I need to go through my clothes, figure out what will work and what won't for this baby, and get stuff washed. Oh, and get the bedding all washed. My good friend is being induced in 2.5 weeks and I need to see what things of Conrey's will work for her little guy. Her boys and my boys are both opposite seasons. That's what happens when you both have little surprises!

For me, I suppose that I will begin to make a list for my hospital bag. It gets shorter and shorter with each passing kid. I had a duffel bag with Cassie, a tote with Conrey, and I'll probably just take an overnight bag with a change of clothes and my PJs for Keaton. All of that "fluff" stuff just gets left in the bag, it seems. I will definitely be taking a picture of my hubby with me in case he doesn't make it. I need him there in one form or another. He'll probably have to labor with me on the phone if he's not there! :) Hair bands/clips, a brush, toothbrush/paste, shower stuff, deod, and make-up will probably about do it. Oh, and mints. I always bring mints for the people breathing in my face. Not much is worse to me than being in labor and smelling bad breath! :)

So, we're at 31 weeks and I've been telling Keaton that he is getting evicted as SOON as he's baked. I'm trying to convince him that 37 weeks sounds pretty fabulous! That would put us mid-September. That would be great with me! You can be assured that I'll be walking my little feet off, eating my "Go Into Labor Cake," and lots of pineapple (among other home remedies) as soon as September 15th (37 weeks) hits!

After the weekend

2010-08-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

So, we survived our first weekend. Sunday was tiring, to say the least, but all went well. I even snuck in a brief, Sunday-afternoon nap. We enjoyed swimming Sunday night with some friends and then stayed at Mom and Dad's. It was just easier!

Monday, I had a pretty raging headache and went to my dad's office twice. We ate dinner with mom and dad and then came home. I had to be home to watch the finale of The Bachelorette! :) I know, I'm a dork, but so are many of you! :) I knew from early on that she would pick Roberto, but I was pulling for Chris. Such a good guy, it seems! I was PRETTY jealous of Mark yesterday, as the high for Goddard peaked at 109. Where he is at, the high was 87. MAN! Where is the justice! I should totally be there and he should be here!

Today, we went to play with Sophie and Will...Cassie's best friend and Conrey's best frenemy. They are friends, but Conrey gets pretty jealous of Will. I think that it is from when I used to keep them. It was good to have some adult friend conversation...especially with a fellow preggo, though she's less than 3 weeks away from meeting her little man. The temp right now is registering at 107 and we've been hunkered down inside with the thermal curtains pulled since getting home from their house around 12:30. I am so, so thankful for these curtains! My electric bill is too!

Now, what you've really all been wondering about...my husband. When I talked to him Saturday, he was quite depressed, lonely, and wondering if he should even stay there. Sunday, he went to a great church, met some new friends (who took him out to lunch--Mexican! It's a fellow BNSF employee and he thinks that they'll be great friends), felt very welcome, and had a much better outlook on life. Chance, the new friend, answered many of his questions and put his mind at ease somewhat. I'm very thankful for that!

Yesterday, he started orientation. It will be all week long. He is basically learning company policies, benefits, union stuff, etc., meeting people, and touring the facilities. He has a great feeling about it so far and is quite eager to start working next week.

He is getting used to being on his own and has even cooked his own dinner every night. I'm waiting for him to get past hotdogs, frozen pizzas, and sandwiches...waiting for the call when he says, "What do I do?!?!?"

Anyway, all is well on both homefronts. The kids are adjusting a bit better every day and I feel that they will both survive this difficult period.

Keaton currently has the hiccups. He's been getting them a lot the past few days. They seem to last forever like someone tapping you repeatedly on the arm...it gets annoying. However, I cherish each kick, roll, and Renesme-esque punch, as I know that it will all be over soon and I'll miss it!

Thanks for stopping by and we'll catch up later!

Today

2010-07-31T20:22:00.000-05:00

This morning, I went to a charity event...more about that in a moment. The afternoon and evening were pretty uneventful, though we did enjoy dinner with some good friends...very low-key. The kids napped on different schedules, so no nap for this tired mommy.

The charity event that I went to was for Carpenter Place. It is a children's home, of sorts. It is for kids and teens from troubled homes. They come and live with house parents in a family setting in a home. It is a wonderful place and I was glad to be able to attend the event. My dad used to be on the board there and it has helped thousands of kids (and families) in the past 40-50 years.

Mark is having a hard time adjusting to single life, dingy apartment living life, and loneliness. Prayers for him would be appreciated. I hope and pray that things will be better after his first day of work Monday. I also hope and pray that he'll get himself up to go to church tomorrow. I have a feeling that he won't since he's having a hard time. Please say extra prayers for him.

The kids are doing well. Cassie asked how many days until Daddy comes home. She didn't like the answer of 7 flashes of 10 fingers, though I hope that it really won't be that long. She got to talk to him on the phone today and I think that that helped.

Well, that's all, folks. I hope you all have a great night and a great Sunday worshipping!

And then we were

2010-07-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

There is no continuation of that sentence. Life didn't end. Life didn't crumble. Life didn't screech to a halt. We just kept living today. It was an ordinary day except for the fact that I had to put the kids to bed by myself and I had to pawn them off on others at Chuck E Cheese so as not to feel overwhelmed.

If anything breaks me in this whole thing, though, it is going to be Miss Cassie Leigh. Oh, that girl! She bawled her eyes out this morning. It was rough. Then, later in the day, she said, "I'm so excited to show my new toy to Daddy!" I gently reminded her and her eyes fell. "Oh, yeah. I forgot." Later, she said asked if Daddy would stay right by her at Chuck E Cheese the whole time because she's deathly afraid of Chuck E. I glanced at her sweet face in the rearview mirror and after a moment of thought she said, "Oh, I forgot again.........." How do I help that sweet, innocent girl understand that this is best for the future of our family...her future? That it killed her Daddy to leave and not see her beautiful smile every day? That it is the greatest sacrifice he's ever had to make in his whole life...possibly missing the birth of his own child? So heartbreaking. I just want to make good and sure that she doesn't think that it is anything to do with her in a negative sense.

When I look at the sadness in those eyes, it about breaks me. However, God's strength is unbreakable and that is the strength that I'm dwelling in, so I will not break. Thank you, Dear Lord, for getting Mark there safely and please guard, protect, and comfort all of us.

The day we knew would come

2010-07-29T22:05:00.000-05:00

Mark leaves...tomorrow. I'm a huge mix of emotions. I've done well today, though the tears have fallen a time or two (or maybe even three). He's not going to Iraq. He's not going to Alaska. Still, 9 hours is far enough. Today, in the car, Cassie gave him the best gift she could. She said, "Mommy, we're sure gonna miss Daddy, huh?" It let him know that she was thinking of him and was going to miss him when he sometimes wonders if they'll even notice he's gone. He's getting phone call after phone call of well-wishers and I'm doing my best to not be irritated. He has 9-10 hours of uninterrupted (except for that darn driving) time tomorrow when he could talk to these people, but they're taking up our time. Kel--this is in no way directed at you and B...he was quite ecstatic. :) I appreciate people thinking of him, but I'm wishing that they would call tomorrow. I obviously don't want to ruin our last night together, so I'm just biting my tongue, taking a deep breath, and counting to 10 again and again. He was on the phone throughout half of our dinner together as a family. Counting.....

Half of my life is loaded up in a truck ready to leave tomorrow morning. I'm not talking about the "stuff." I'm talking about the fact that it will be carrying half of myself far away.

We'll wake up tomorrow. I'll kiss him good-bye. He'll be gone. I will see him in 2 or 3 months.

Lord, make it go quickly.......

I TOLD YOU!

2010-07-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

So, I'm the snack coordinator for VBS. I have 4th, 5th, and 6th graders first. Then, 5-y-olds through 1st grade. Finally, 2nd and 3rd graders. It's been fun, but my mom told me that I'm a drill sargent with the kids. Niiiice. I just don't have much time to get snacks done! :)

Anyway, last night with my 4, 5, and 6th graders, I had quite the rowdy bunch. They were kind of all over the place and quite loud, though they were the smallest group of the night. One kid said, "HEY! Are you pregnant?"

I quickly said, "No...I just have a fat belly..."

I grinned as he looked sheepish, but a kid that had his back to me said, "I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I laughed and laughed and laughed! Oh, my goodness! I was so tickled by that! I quickly said, "No, I AM pregnant! I do have a big baby growing in here!"

The second kid said, "Oh, sorry....." I assured him that it was okay and had a night full of chuckles whenever I remembered the exchange. I needed a good laugh!

THE week

2010-07-26T09:43:00.000-05:00

It has come and I think that it kind of snuck up on me. This is the week that Mark leaves for Nebraska. It will be until the baby is born that I will see him again we think. That is, if he makes it back in time for the baby's birth.

When we first started looking into the railroad, we knew that it typically takes months and months to get in. We also knew, however, that we were most definitely being lead this route and that God was looking out for us in this situation. We knew that we were on HIS timetable and not ours. Of course, we know that we always are on His timetable, but we like to pretend that we're on our own most of the time.

I told him that I was more than willing to move anywhere that he wanted to move in order for him to be fulfilled and to have a future. HOWEVER, I told him that I would NOT have this baby without him and we fought and argued one night over it.

Through much prayer, much self discovery, I began to find strength and confidence that I didn't know was in there. God began changing my heart and molding it to His will and not my own and I really and truly began okay...no, better than okay...I became content and at peace with the thought of having to have this baby by myself if that was what God required of us in this time. I mean, seriously...until what, like 30 or 35 years ago, you were in there by yourself anyway with just the dr and nurse(s). There are hundreds of military wives that make the sacrifice to have babies without their husbands not knowing whether their husband will EVER make it back to meet the baby. In tribal areas of the world, the woman goes into the woods and comes out (hopefully) with a baby. I realized that my strength in this situation didn't come directly from my husband, but rather from God. He had used Mark as my source of strength through my last 2 deliveries, but He is able to show me His power however He chooses and I am fully confident that this situation will be no different.

However, I am QUITE human, and as the looming deadline approaches, I feel moments of panic. I feel moments of despair. I have to continually remind myself of the post referenced below and have been "re-recording" the tape that keeps TRYING to play in my head. I refuse to let it. I refuse to be weak when I don't have to be. I refuse to psych myself out and be an emotional wreck during the time that we have left together that is so precious. I refuse to let SATAN control our week, or even a moment of it.

I know, full well, that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengths me (Phil 4:13). This doesn't exclude giving birth without my husband beside me. This doesn't exclude caring for 2 kids (and then 3) by myself for 2 months. This doesn't exclude keeping the house "show ready." This doesn't exclude being a happy, caring, loving, nurturing mother to my children when the monster wants to well up and come clawing out. I can do ALL things.

So, I will be tearful at times this week. I will be sad. I will be brave. I will break down. I will recover. I will persevere until God brings my husband back to me or me to him in Nebraska...whichever comes first. But, through all of it, I will be resting in His peace, His hope, and His strength in the shadow of His wing.

Inspired

2010-07-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

Hope my dear friend doesn't mind that I'm sharing her post with you all. If you do, friend, just tell me and I'll take the link down. I thought that it was something that every weary mom, daughter, friend, sister, woman should read. Thanks for your honesty, Kel!

The Dr's Appointment

2010-07-24T09:11:00.000-05:00

WELL, we had quite the day yesterday. We went to the 8:30 a.m. dr's appt. Can I just say that I already have a 14-year-old daughter. She does NOT do well being woken up. She was a grump-o from the start, but was in a better humor by the time we got to the dr's and she got excited about her red cast. We had agreed on red, finally. She had been asking for black or white by this point and I had brought up various reasons why those were not good options.

Anyway, we get to the office and back to the treatment room. The doctor comes in and says, "The official radiology report from the hospital lists the findings as no fracture." We were surprised, but not entirely, as this had been my prayer...if you'll reference my previous posts. He said that he wanted to re-x-ray it to make sure that nothing was showing up now. For those of you that aren't anatomy people, fractures can show up more clearly 5-7 days later when the calcium has depleted between the 2 pieces of bone that are separated. This causes a bigger black gap to show up on the x-rays.

Anyway, we re-x-rayed, which went much better than the ER x-rays. He came back and said, "I don't see anything at all."

I then began questioning her elbow. You see, when the injury FIRST occured, it was her elbow that she was complaining of. By the time we went to my dad's office and then the hospital, she was holding her wrist and complaining of that area. The ER dr was not interested in listening to me about this, though, and it was ignored until the second splint where they incorporated her elbow to support it. I asked why they would need to support the elbow if the problem was in the wrist and if it was possible that the elbow was dislocated. They kind of blew me off. That had been my dad's very first thought, but he didn't think that he could do the awful manuever on his special girl to put it back in place.

Anyway, the dr's eyes lit up hearing that that was her first complaint and he said that that was probably exactly what was going on. He had Mark hold Cassie tightly on his lap (which made her start to panic). He then did a twist, pull, pop manuever...actually, he had to do it twice. It was AWFUL to watch and to hear the accompanying screams, but it was brief. With both manuevers, it was probably 10-15 seconds total before it was all said and done. She calmed down fairly quickly and seemed relieved when it was finished.

He wrapped her arm in an ACE bandage explaining that it was really more cosmetic to make her feel better about the arm. He said that it could be left off whenever she was comfortable with it and if she was having trouble with the arm by Monday, to come back in, but he thought that it should all be over and done with.

We went up to the church to work on VBS stuff then and I saw her using it throughout the day without thinking about it. I inwardly gasped when I saw her trip, fall, and catch herself with the arm. I kept my face completely neutral and she got up, said oops, and kept going. *WHEW*

Later, at Dad's office, I convinced her to let me "re-wrap" it...my 10th attempt to get her to take it off to see that it was A-OK. I took it off, she whimpered as I got to the last wrap around, and she looked up with me in surprise and said, "HEY! It doesn't hurt at all!" I told her that I knew that it wouldn't and maybe we should give the wrap to Grandpa to help another kid with a hurt arm. She immediately took it to him and told him that she was giving it to him.

It has been sore off and on since then, but she uses it fully when she isn't thinking and babies it when she is, which is fine with me. After all, it has been casted since Monday, so it probably is a tad bit weak. She will do something that she hasn't been able to do this week by herself and then come find me to marvel at how she can now do it.

When we found out that we weren't getting a cast, I was worried that she would be upset, so I REALLY played up the fact that she doesn't have to give up swimming for the rest of the summer. That took any disappointment and threw it straight out the window. She was thrilled to think of that point!

So, we have no cast. We have no lingering injury. God is good...all the time. He never fails us and never ceases to amaze us in His providence. We could have managed with a broken arm...no doubt about it. BUT, He was gracious to my baby girl and kept her from having to go through that. He always protects us and we know that He will continue to do so in the days, weeks, and months ahead when our family is separated.

She's a pretty special little thing (even if she is a Sass!) and I am thankful beyond words that she is not in pain and can go about normal 4-year-old life! THANK YOU, DEAR LORD, for taking care of my baby, who I know is really yours and, as hard as it is for me to imagine, you love her infinitely more than I do.

Arm Update

2010-07-22T10:11:00.000-05:00

Cassie is doing fabulously with her arm. She hasn't been in pain. She hasn't complained about it. She has just done great! The only thing is that she acts helpless at times, which I think is just a ploy to get mommy to do EVERYTHING for her. We've been exploring what things she CAN actually do and she's becoming a teeny bit more independent once again. It's been a looong week for momma feeling like I have 2 toddlers having to do every single thing for her.

We go in the morning to get it checked out, re-x-rayed, and casted with a real cast. I am kind of hoping that they'll x-ray it and say, "There's no break! She doesn't need a cast!" It just seems strange to me that she's had no pain, though I am EXTREMELY thankful for such a blessing!

Well, that's the update. VBS is in full swing and I'm the head of the snack department. Of course, I didn't know that I would have an injured child and a husband moving away during VBS week when I signed up for the job, but we're going to make it all work out!

Cancel That

2010-07-20T22:51:00.000-05:00

A favorite past time of the kids and I when driving is singing. We sing everything from the ABCs to Holy, Holy, Holy to silly songs that we make up. I especially turn to singing when it's approaching naptime and I don't want Conrey to fall asleep. That was the case today. After Twinkle, Twinkle and a song about self-control, I said, "How about 'If You're Happy and You Know It?'" I started singing and Cassie, from the back, said, "WAIT!" I paused. She said, "Wait, CANCEL that song for the next 4 weeks..." My mind went spinning and I realized that I was about to say 'clap your hands.' She said, "I can't clap..." I burst out laughing. She then proceeded to try clapping, realized that she could, and started the song over so that she wouldn't be left out. I guess we don't have to cancel it afterall...

I intended to have a picture to go with this post, but I wanted to wait until she has a real cast. She's doing well and said tonight that her arm is no ouch and all good. Glad to hear that from her sweet little voice. They sometimes say day 3 is worst, so I'm praying for a comfortable day tomorrow with little to no need for drugs.

When a Mother's Heart Breaks

2010-07-20T00:41:00.000-05:00

Well, let's see...Cassie and Conrey were really wound up this morning. I kept telling them to not run. About 3 minutes before I heard a thud, I said, "Someone's going to get hurt!!!" What I've FINALLY understood after lots of questioning with wishy-washy answers is that they were then playing tag in Cassie's room so that they wouldn't get in trouble. Tag + Small Space = BAD IDEA!!!! She was dodging him, dancing around, and fell onto her outstretched hand, bent it weird, and landed on it. She was crying a bunch and even shaking a bit, but with a 4-year-old drama queen (don't know where she gets that...), I am never sure how bad something really is.

Anyway, we went to my dad's office and he was concerned. If you don't know, my dad is a chiropractor. On the way there, she said, "But how will I eat candy at Grandpa's work? This is the hand that I use!!!" She has her priorities straight, I tell 'ya!

So, the slightest movement set her off, so he splinted it with a ruler and ace bandage, as he didn't have any teeny tiny splints. He thought that we should take her in to the hospital. He was afraid of fracture or dislocation with how tender it was and how scared she was of any movement/touching.

The x-ray process at the hospital was AWFUL. I couldn't be in there with her since I'm pregnant and she was screaming for me the whole time. Mom was with her (Mark had taken Conrey to eat, because it was getting late and he was starving. We knew that he would be a pest at the hospital. I think that it would have been even harder on Daddy to see his little girl go through all of this anyway.). They had to bend, turn, and rotate her arm to get the right views. I was rather irritated. Pretty much I was bawling my eyes out as I stood out in the hall listening to her scream for mommy.

Long story short, she landed just wrong to where it broke the bigger of the 2 bones in her arm, just past the wrist...if you look down at your arm, it's the one on the thumb side. It is a break straight across the bone.
She did really good the rest of the time just resting until it was time to splint. That was bad. More bending, turning, moving. As she's crying, she starts screaming...SCREAMING...that she needs to potty and she needs to potty NOW. Oh, my. They get it set and we run to the bathroom. We come back and they say that they are concerned that she was so tender to elbow movement so they want to take that temp cast off and put a different one on that goes past her elbow. Oh. my. lanta. Not only does all of the movement, pushing, etc. KILL her, but they force her elbow to bend in, which she screamed bloody murder at. Now, she is permanently bent at a 90 degree angle and it is wrapped from just above the elbow to her hand.

Wanna know the BEST part? They gave her loritab...at the END right before we left! I was sooooo mad that they wouldn't give it to her earlier. They gave her 2 popcicles throughout, but no drugs and she was screaming and crying. Talk about killing a mommy! I would have thought that they would drug her up before they did all of that so that it wasn't so agonizing to her. I'm not sure the reasoning for it, but it was bad.

Oh, yeah...as we are cuddling and icing still at home (the fact that she was letting me ice it was proof to me that it was badly hurt), the Super Why episode that we watched was about not running, going slowly, and the secret message at the end was BE CAREFUL! I thought that that was ironic.

So, that has been our day. She will go Friday for a real cast, which she'll wear for 4 weeks or so. Everyone was saying, "Are you going to get a pink cast or purple.....?" Nope. Not my daughter. She wants red or black. Lovely. :) She has been so brave and strong all day long and I am so, so proud of her! It has been tough and overwhelming for a little 4-year-old, but I am just thankful that it was a teeny break and that it should heal up with no other problems. Thank you, Lord, for that blessing in the midst of this poopy experience. Am I allowed to say poopy to God? Well, I guess I did....

On a different note, my iron is a bit low. They want it above 12 and it was 10.7. Now, when you compare that to the 4 that it was at when I had iron and blood transfusions with Conrey, it's not so bad, but we need to get it up. I started supplements today and we're going to watch it closely.

Seeing as how it is 12:40 a.m., I am beyond exhausted, and I know that I'll have 2 hoodlums up bright and early in the morning, I am going to end this and say goodnight. I am praying that Cassie sleeps peacefully all night long and that her pain stays at bay while she sleeps. I'll let ya know how she's doing in a day or 2...

There's no place like home!

2010-07-18T14:56:00.000-05:00

We are GLAD to be back home with our kiddos! Four days away was a loooong time!

Wednesday, I had an OB appointment complete with the delightful glucose test. Hopefully, I passed. Then, we left straight from there to head up to our new town in Nebraska. We had dropped of the kids, the kid couch/bed, and a ton of stuff at my parents' house before my appointment. After the 9-hour plus stops drive, we made it about 10:20ish that night, checked into our hotel, and I crashed. I slept horribly that night and was not overly refreshed when I got out of bed at 7:30 after tossing and turning most of the night. What is up with that? I had no kids and I couldn't sleep. Stupid hotel beds and FREEZING air conditioner.

We love our new little town. There is a ton of charm and you can sense the pride of the people in their multitude of parks, playgrounds, the fountain that is over 100 years old that was recently restored, the shops, and just the way people help you out. It is DEFINITELY not like anything either of us has ever experienced in our entire lives, but we're excited anyway. The majority of the houses were built in the 1920s with another round built when the railroad boomed in the 1970s. There are very few newer homes than that. There WERE, however, about 7 or so retirement/assisted living centers. We kept thinking that they were nice looking apartment complexes, only to find out that no, they were senior centers. The apartment buildings are mostly the OLD retirement centers converted. Apparently, they take good care of their seniors.

We had a great realtor that toured the city for us. She has lived there her entire life and was full of great info and tips for us.

We finally, our last day there, found a suitable, though somewhat expensive, 1-bedroom apartment for Mark to rent while he's there by himself, but we came up empty-handed in terms of a place for the family. We hope and pray that somewhere opens up between the time he gets there and the time we need to join him.

So, he leaves the 30th. We're dreading it. We have so much to do between now and then. Do you even realize how many things a person needs to live for 3-4 months? I'm talking things like cooking equipment to a trashcan to cleaning supplies. We want to send him with as much as possible, as things are more expensive there. For example, he wanted some watermelon one evening so we went to the grocery store. A bowl of watermelon (already cut up, obviously) was $8!!!!! I'm not sure how much it actually was, but I'd say that the same size would be more like $3-4 here. The only whole watermelons that they had were the teeny tiny kind and they were $4.99. Oh my! Produce is apparently a rare thing to have there. We might have to start up gardening. :)

Well, that's the excitement for now. Keep the prayers a-comin' and we'll keep you updated!

WOO-HOO!

2010-07-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

SOMEBODY out there in bloggy land must have been praying a little extra for us! :) I know that many of you have been praying HARD and we truly, deeply appreciate it!

Why the Woo-hoo? We have a start date! Mark starts up with the railroad on August 2nd! That means that we have to find him somewhere to live, get our house sold, get this baby here safe and sound, and then start out life out in the middle of nowhere! :)

The other day, we were in a little, old-timey, sort of run-down cafe with "small town folk" as I like to refer to them. I said to Mark, "Look around, honey...this is our new life once we get to Nebraska!" The town we're moving to is definitely a railroadin' town w/ lots of cowboy-type folks. We're sure to stick out like sore thumb being city folk, but we'll hopefully settle in...at least before it's time to move on! :)

Well, I have a TON to do tonight and tomorrow (with my glucose OB appt...what fun), so I'm going to end this. Thank you, thank you, thank you once again for the prayers, dear friends. You all are a blessing no matter how near or how far you are at any given point! Thank You!

The Changes Goin' On Around Here

2010-07-12T11:36:00.000-05:00

Lots going on around the Vickers' house. Some of the changes are more concrete than others. Some are vague and frustrating.

First of all, the biggest news is that our house is now listed for sale on the 'ol housing market. Big applause followed by silence. No showings yet. We know that God's timing is perfect and that all will go according to His plan, as it has all along. We believe this full well. WE'RE hoping that it will sell quickly, though, so prayers would be appreciated for patience and understanding of things no matter how they go.

A follow-up to my last post, Mark's blood pressure is under control and he has officially passed the medical half of the conditional offer. Now, we're just waiting for the background check to be completed. There should be no issues there whatsoever, it just takes forever. I asked him if he had killed anyone, but never told me about it. He has assured me that he hasn't. :)

The more frustrating part of things is that we still don't know when he is supposed to start due to the background check. It is really difficult to plan our lives when we don't have this information. As SOON as we know his start date, we will take a trip up to our new town to scope things out, find a place for him to live, etc. We can't very well do that until then. We had planned to go this Wednesday, but we don't want to go up until we have a date that he would need to move in.

Today, Cassie asked where we were going for lunch. I told her home. She said, "But your kitchen is all nice and clean! You don't want to mess it up for people to come see it!" Silly girl! We can't eat out forever!

Well, that's about all of the excitement I've got for now. No news on when Mark's going. No showings. Yeah, it's pretty exciting...

Thanks for stopping by and I'll update again when I have some INFO!

It's the little things

2010-07-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

Mark had his physical, his hearing test, his vision test, his color vision test, and his strength test all this week. Luckily, it wasn't the type of physical he thought it would be. He thought that it would be the all-invasive type, but it wasn't and he was THANKFUL!

He was worried about his hearing test. If you didn't know, Mark was a drummer in jumior high, high school, and pretty much up until we had kids. Because of a lack of time, the issue of how loud the drums were with small children, and changes in priorities, his drumming sessions have all but disappeared. Anyway, we've always thought that his hearing was bad because of this and a love for insanely loud music. He's one of THOSE guys when you're driving down the street and you hear the music even with the windows up. It's not pounding bass, rap, or cussing, but it's LOUD! Anyway, I now have proof that his hearing is fine and he just doesn't listen to me!

He was worried about the vision test because he hasn't been to the doctor in many years since having LASIK. It checked out A-OK.

He was worried about the color test because some lady told him that he might be color blind based on a test she did, which she wasn't sure of how to do and didn't know really what the results were.

All of that worry was for nothing.

The actual hitch in our road right now is a little number: 160/108. High blood pressure. Now, if he can't get it consistently under 140/90, he will be rejected by the railroad. Lovely. HBP meds are not the greatest meds to take. They have lots of side effects...some are not so great. So, if you would all be praying for Mark's blood pressure to just be from him being anxious, nervous, etc. and for it to drop and stay down that would be a huge blessing to us. If he needs the meds, he needs the meds, but a 31-year-old should NOT have high blood pressure!

Thanks all for your continued prayers!

Cat Scratch Fever

2010-06-30T08:59:00.000-05:00

Well, hopefully she won't contract cat scratch fever, but Cassie did have a run-in with a baby kitty yesterday. My dad got some kittens (that are grandkitties of his cat, Maggie) and they might just be the most beautiful, adorable kitties in the whole, wide world. I was seriously about to steal one until my eyes started itching and watering, my arms started itching, my nose was itchy and runny, and my face started looking blotchy. That was all with the first pet of these little sweeties!

This isn't the actual kitten, but it is close. The actual kittens are even cuter than this. Their little faces are round and full and they are just darling. Did I mention that I'm NOT an animal person? Something about kittens gets me every time!

Anyway, Cassie was holding one of the kittens and the kitten decided that she was done with the whole affair. As she struggled to get down, she made quite a mess of Cassie's left hand and arm. I guess I should have taken a picture of her arm sans bandage, but I don't have one. What I do have is our doctoring of it last night after bathtime (which hurt a lot) and before bedtime, which she was horribly worried about. We put medicine (Neosporin) on every single little scratch and bandaged her up good. Here was the result.

A hundred bandages later and she was confident that she would survive the night. And she just got out of bed at 9:00 after going to bed at 9:00, so I guess she made it. :)

Whoa...

2010-06-29T10:35:00.000-05:00

Well, the details that I can give are vague, as of yet. Not because I'm trying to be secretive, but because our information is still limited at this point.

Mark has been offered a job. A what? A JOB! Thursday will be 14 months since he was laid off and he now has a job offer. God is ALWAYS faithful. God ALWAYS provides. God ALWAYS has a plan in mind. We have grown. We have changed. We have submitted. We have been patient (at times). God is starting to lift the veil on His plans for us a little bit at a time.

Apparently, those plans include a stop over in a little town called Alliance, Nebraska. Nine hours from home for either of us. What an opportunity to grow and blossom as a couple as we learn to cleave only to each other. What an opportunity for us to be an encouragement to a teeny, tiny church. What an opportunity for us to live conservatively and get out of debt. What an opportunity this will be!

This year has tried our marriage (I wouldn't suggest moving away from your hubby's family, having your husband get laid off, having a surprise pregnancy, and being in the 7th year of marriage all at the same time!). It has tried our patience as we asked over and over and over what we were supposed to be learning. It has brought us closer than we've ever been and it has brought us to our knees over and over again as God richly blessed us and surprised us with His unfailing providence.

Yet, as I look ahead to this next phase of our lives, I am terrified. For starters, Mark will be starting in Alliance very soon. Me? Well, I have this thing called a baby growing in me and due to my insurance, I'm stuck here...in Kansas. Did I mention that Mark will be 9 hours away? What if I have to have this baby on my own? What if he doesn't make it home in time? This was NOT in my plans!!! However, I have laid it at HIS feet and know that He will once again take care of me, whatever that might mean. I trust His wisdom that is higher and deeper and wider and greater than mine. He has orchestrated this job for Mark and He will orchestrate the rest of the story to be a perfect symphony.

It would seem as though we need to sell our house ASAP, but what do we do then? I'll tell you, in case you haven't caught the jist of things around here...we trust...we hope...we do what we've learned to do pretty well...we wait. There are a few interesting possibilities that we're looking into. We'll have to have somewhere for Mark to live there and somewhere for us to live here...all within our current budget. Yes, God will provide the answer.

Do I want to leave my comfort zone? Absolutely not! Do I want to leave my dear friends that have held me up this past year? NO!

Is it worth every tear to see my husband proud, fulfilled, and holding his head high? A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!!

We had a really great day yesterday with the sell of the vehicle that has been hanging over our head for a year...we've been trying to sell it since December. I went to pick him up from Hutch (a small town near where we live) and as I drove across this huge bridge stretching across a huge train yard, a feeling of pride for my husband that I've never felt flowed through me. Did I mention that most people have to go to 5,6 10, 15 hiring sessions before getting a job offer? Did I mention that this was Mark's FIRST HIRING SESSION?!? The pride I felt was of a husband that works hard with his hands. A husband that works hard to make a living to support his growing family. A husband that makes the tough choices (living away from us...even with Keaton on the way among them) to make a future. A husband who is part of a great industry that is growing and changing.

I'm proud. I'm thankful. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm terrified. I'm anxious. I'm hesitant. I'm hopeful. I'm peaceful. Weird mixture, yes, but I'm only human. I've given it all over to God, but I still feel the emotions. I just have to put them in perspective and remember who created me...who created those feelings...who is in charge. At that point, I can truly say that I am at peace with this situation. God is ever faithful.

The Days of Our Lives (in summer)

2010-06-24T09:58:00.001-05:00

These days, our lives are kind of topsy turvy, it seems. We have no schedule. We have no consistency. We have no real cohesion. I blame summer. I need to find some organized activity to join that is cheap/free and does not kill me in the heat. It is tough due to the kids 2-year age gap. There are activities for under 3 and there are activities for 3 and up. I am having trouble finding activities that we all three can participate in. We try to spend as much time as possible in the pool during the summer, but I just need something that we have to look forward to 1-2 day(s) per week that are planned and consistent. I also need to get some kind of learning plan in place. Cassie is starting preschool in the fall and there are a few more things that I think we need to brush up on to be ready for that.

So, those are my goals. If you have activity ideas that are cheap and won't kill me in the heat, let me know...especially if you're involved in them with your kids! That would be even more fun!

Who Knew?

2010-06-21T09:13:00.001-05:00

Who knew that there was a SINGLE brave bone in her entire body?!? I sure didn't. Sorry to be a copycat poster, Kel, but I was just so impressed at my daughter Slip'N'Sliding that I HAD to post it. Thanks for the pics! Thanks to Carla and Missy for a great party and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the 2 birthday boys!!!

OH MY...

Al...most...there...

Let's try it backwards!

TA-DA! She was so proud of herself for being brave!

I just have one question...were slip'n'slides ALWAYS this short and it was just child perspective???

The New Pictures!

2010-06-17T14:42:00.001-05:00

I honestly could not be happier with our family picture! I was SO excited that it turned out so well! If you want to see the whole photo shoot, head over to my facebook.

TILT (Cake Mix Cookies)

2010-06-17T08:14:00.000-05:00

It's the simple things in life...really. Like waking up at 8 a.m. and realizing that your early riser is still sleeping (not that I know anything about that this morning--Conrey woke me up at 6:20). Like Happy Hour at Sonic. Like one of the things I love...Cake Mix Cookies. Simple, delicious, addictive. I mentioned them this week on Facebook and I wanted to mention them here with the recipe. They are SO quick and easy to make and they make you feel like you've done some baking with minimal effort! What could be better?

The best part? You can make them with any flavor of cake mix. You can add to them. You can be as creative as you want or you can make them quick and easy. Either way, they're delish!

Get yourself a cake mix. Any flavor. Let your eyes do the walking and your stomach do the talking at the store. Got it? Good. Now, pay for it before you leave. I don't endorse shoplifting.

When you get home, preheat the oven to 350. Dump the cake mix in a bowl, add 2 eggs and 1/3 c. oil. Mix it up good. If you're going to add chocolate chips, PB chips, coconut, nuts, sprinkles, etc...now's the time to do it! Roll the dough into little balls and place on your cookie sheet. If you're doing chocolate, lemon, strawberry, or I suppose any other, they are pretty to roll in powdered sugar. I use parchment because I'm lazy. You do as you wish. Place them 3 to a row and 3-4 rows depending on your cookie sheet. They're gonna spread a bit, so don't overcrowd.

Bake these babies for 8-12 min depending on your oven. My old oven took 8. The current takes closer to 12. You want them to not be liquidy. They will set up a bit after you take them out. Let them cool a bit before diving in. Trust me on this one. Impatience will only burn your tastebuds off.

You can frost these if you want. Frosting always makes things tastier. :)

I will say that there are many different recipes for cake mix cookies out there. Some have cool whip or butter in the dough. Some have 1 egg or different amounts of oil. This is the recipe that I use.

If you want to hear about what others out there in bloggy land are lovin today, head on over to visit Jill at The Diaper Diaries. Also, she has a great giveaway going on and you all KNOW that I would love me some free baby stuff! Thanks for stoppin' by!

Worth 1000 words

2010-06-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

Remember Cassie's Bullfrogs and Butterflies birthday party a month ago tomorrow? Well, we finally got pictures uploaded. This is the one that I believe best depicts my birthday girl. Those of you in attendance are thinking to yourselves: "I never saw her looking like that!" She wouldn't wear the mask for the party, but we captured this picture before everyone showed up! TOO FUNNY!

We are FINALLY getting 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and family pictures taken tomorrow, so be looking for them to be posted soon, as well as the pictures in my sidebar updated. Yes, they are a full year old. I'm a bad picture mommy!!!

Sibling Love

2010-06-07T16:13:00.000-05:00

I have just been so overcome with joy lately with how much my children love each other. They enjoy playing together. They make each other giggle. They just have such a great time when they're together. I will often see them hugging, reading together, or helping the other clean up toys. I am just trying to cherish each of those moments before either or 2 things happen. Number one, I know that baby brother Keaton is going to upset the applecart soon. I hope that that doesn't cause increased sibling rivalry. Number two, I know that there will probably come a day *sigh* when they annoy each other more than they amuse each other. The sweet innocence that they share right now is just absolutely PRICELESS and I wish that I could capture each and every moment.

Last night, they were taking pretend pictures of each other with a toy camera in Cassie's room. I heard, "NO, Conrey, I'M supposed to say cheese! You're taking the picture!" He was behind the camera, looking through the hole, saying 'cheese.' She was giggling like crazy at this.

In the bathtub today, one would shriek and they would both burst out giggling. Then, the other would try to do a more funny shriek and face and they'd bust up again.

How do you bottle this sweet, sibling love to pour over them when they're adolescents and cannot stand the other? I want to keep the kindness, love, patience, joy, etc. that is between them and never let it fade.

I know that it is possible. I've seen it in action. I just want to figure out the secret and instill it deep within their beings. Right now, all I can do is encourage their playing together, their laughing together, their sharing. Oh, and smile a deep grin of mommy contentment. That, I can certainly do.

22 Weeks

2010-06-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well, we've hit 22 weeks, people. So far, so good. I went back through my blog and realized that it was much later (like 34 or 35 weeks) than I thought when I started passing out last time. I thought that I was approaching that time, so it was good to know that I've got awhile before I need to be cautious of that. Let's see, what's new? Not a whole lot. I am tired, tired, tired right now, but feeling really good overall (with the exception of the allergy/sinus issues, but those aren't preg-related). Keaton is a moving machine at about 9-10 p.m. and wiggles around until I get comfy in bed for the night. He doesn't keep me up at night, but I'm not sure if I just sleep through it or if he continues to be awake. I'm hoping that he's not a night owl when he makes his appearance! He is supposedly just under a foot in length and just under a pound in weight. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. One website said that he is the length of an Oreo package, but the weight of a large bag of tortilla chips. Hmmm...Are those DOUBLE STUFFED Oreos?!?

We had a great weekend at Family Camp this past weekend. That is where my church goes to camp every Memorial Day weekend at Rock Springs 4-H Camp. I, and several others that I've heard from or talked to, thought that this was one of the best years ever class/lesson/format-wise. I was sad that we left early, but was sooooo ready to leave due to allergy/sinus crud. I felt horrible all day Sunday. We were planning to come back for Mark to work Monday and I was really bummed about it until I started feeling so horrid. That helped me not feel resentful of having to leave, I guess. I hear that we missed some great stuff including my son winning the award for "Best New Talent." The kids sang for the talent show and Conrey just HAMMED IT UP! Cassie did a great job, though I'm not sure if she looked at the audience once. Her head was bent way down low. I am still shocked that it wasn't a mommy solo, though. If I can get ahold of the video, I will try to upload it. It was pretty precious, I must say.

I am H-U-N-G-R-Y ALL the time with this boy! I am sure that this is going to be a record-setting pregnancy for me. Seriously...all I think about is food. Mark and I have switched places. He has been losing like crazy! He has lost 12 pounds by cutting down what he eats, when he eats, and how much he eats. I'm really proud of him. Of course, this is the WORST time for him to be wanting to split meals with me. Hello??? I'm PREGNANT! I do NOT want half of a hamburger...I want TWO hamburgers! I have a lot of lost time to make up from when I couldn't eat, so get out of the way! In all seriousness, though, I am trying to be really careful. I am only about 10-12 pounds away from my final weight with Cassie. Scary thought. I have 18 more weeks in which to gain and do NOT want to gain a bunch of weight that won't ever go away.

Well, that's all the excitement we have time for. Join us next time for more riveting, self-indulgent posts about...well...ME!

Wait...one quick Cassie story before I go. She asked me the other night what Strawberry Shortcake's last name was. I said "Shortcake." She said, "No, I mean what is her LAST name?" I said, "Her first name is Strawberry, like your's is Cassie. Her last name is Shortcake, like your's is V." She was quiet for awhile while she pondered this. I was thinking about how odd it was that we were discussing the last name of a cartoon character. She finally said, "Mom...I mean like Dopps or something...what's her LAST name?" I guess if she wants her to be Strawberry Shortcake Dopps, I'm okay with that...

My BIG kids

2010-05-27T09:10:00.000-05:00

My kids have been cracking us up lately. Of course, we have our moments where they make us want to pull our hair out, but they are both at really great stages. They have been through so, so much during this pregnancy and it really breaks my heart how little time and attention I was able to give them. Things have really improved and we're enjoying reconnecting with each other now that mommy is back to semi-normal.

Cassie is totally into pretend play. Last Sunday, she informed me that she had changed her name to Safari. She came to me wearing a Safari hat. Ok...we went with it. A bit later she said, "Mommy, I'm in the mood for some ice cream." I told her that we were not having ice cream, as it was almost dinner time. She said, "Well, it's a good thing I always keep some ice cream in my hat!" She pulled off her safari hat and she had a pretend ice cream cone in the hat, which she proceeded to eat. All I could do was laugh.

Conrey has grown quite well into his name of Ornery Conrey. Oh. My. He is his daddy's boy, that is for sure (and his grandpa's). My grandpa and my dad (and some of my uncles) are famous (you know...not like famous, but with people who know them well) for the twinkle that they get in their eye when they are being ornery or are up to no good. If you ask anyone what they remember about Grandpa, that will always come up in the conversation. My kids both have the twinkle, but I am seeing Conrey's a LOT lately. He took very early on to my dad's insurance manager, Justine. I've always asked, "Whose boy are you?" The answer was always, "Momma's boy!" Now, with that stinkin twinkle, he says, "JUSTINE'S BOY!" and then he flinches waiting for the tickle that he knows accompanies his answer. This is the game that we play multiple times a day. Sometimes, out of the blue, he'll shout, "JUSTINE'S BOY!" It is sometimes Grandpa's boy or Grannie's boy...anything to not say Mommy. This little game, however, has enabled me to catch a glimpse of his sweet, soft heart. If I make a sad face and ask him the question, he whispers, "Mommy's boy......." and gives me a hug and kiss. :) He is so sweet and tender and I just love it. I hope that he can be a "manly man" or "tough boy" while still having his soft side. I don't want my son to be a wuss or a wimp, but I want him to have the compassion and gentleness that Jesus asks of us.

Probably my most rewarding thing of late is catching bits of conversation between my children as they play. They have their squabbles like any siblings, but they love each other deeply. The other day, it was a Tuesday, I believe, I overheard Cassie teaching Conrey all about the story she had learned in Bible class on Sunday. She was trying to get him to understand that the whole point of the story was how much Jesus loves us. It was precious and I wish that I had a recording of it. She loves sharing Bible stories and "lessons" with her brother. I always feel guilty when we get almost home and she has to ask, "Wanna know what I learned in Bible class today/tonight?" She loves to tell us about it, too, and the times that I fail to ask, it seems that she lasts as long as she can wait for me to ask before she just has to tell us. I try my best to ask once we're leaving church both to reiterate the lesson and therefore solidify it for her and to encourage her in her "evangelism" as it may be, to Daddy, Mommy, and brother.

I can't believe that in less than 2 weeks, I'll officially have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. This time 2 years ago, I was in and out of the hospital, passing out, and pretty unfunctional. Prayers would be appreciated that Keaton doesn't steal Momma's iron the way his brother did.

Everyone have a blessed Memorial Day weekend and I'll try to blog about our experiences next week!

Every Pregnancy Different

2010-05-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

I know that they always say that every pregnancy is different. Seriously...this one has had every surprise possible.

***I was sicker longer with this one--only a week longer, but when you've been sick for 10 weeks, an extra one is killer!
***I cannot sleep soundly--with my first two, my head would hit the pillow and I would wake up when Mark left for work. Now, I toss and turn to go to sleep. I toss and turn throughout the night. I usually wake up earlier than necessary just to...you guessed it...toss and turn some more before finally giving up and getting out of bed.
***I am exhausted! I attribute this to the 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and lack of sleeping. It makes for loooong days.
***Speaking of long days, right now, each day seems to last 2 weeks each! This is the stage of pregnancy that went by decently fast for me the first two times. It was the beginning with the sickness and the end with the waiting that were eternally long.
***I want ALL THINGS SWEET!!!!!!!!!!! I like dessert like the next gal, but I would typically take more meat and potatoes and have a small dessert. Not right now! I want sweets, more sweets, and all of the sweets that I can get my hands on! Not the case with the other 2. I DID crave ice cream with the other two, but that was about it, really, in the sweet department.

I know that I'm whiney with all of the "afflictions" that I have going on with the pregnancy. I just want to clarify that I am joyful to have a healthy, happy baby growing in there. At least, I assume he's happy. He sure kicks and moves around like a happy baby! :) God blessed us in a way that we didn't ask for, but I know that it will prove to be a great blessing as we watch our boys play together (and fight) and as we do our best to instill a love for God in their little, blessed hearts.

We're at 21 weeks now, baby! Only 19 more to go! We're over the hump!!!

Planning, Preparation, and Positive Thinking

2010-05-20T09:31:00.000-05:00

Now that the shock of our baby boy #2 has worn off, we are all getting very excited with visions of brotherly love, future bunkbeds, big-sister-bossy-itis, and all things blue. I am praying from this minute forward that Conrey and Keaton be friends, not rivals. I'm not niave enough to think that there will be no conflict between them. I simply hope and pray that they will grow up being friends and companions. I pray that Cassie loves being the only girl and that she is not too spoiled.

I pray that sleeping situations work out with a small baby. Keaton will be rooming with big sister, so I just hope that that goes as well as I believe it will. Cassie is a much sounder sleeper than Conrey, so I hope that the baby being in her room is the better option. The kids' rooms share a wall, so I just hope that Conrey isn't disturbed even without the baby in his room.

I'm currently trying to figure out how to make Conrey's June wardrobe fit an October baby. Conrey was big, so I don't have any hope of stretching his clothes for Keaton unless Keaton is giant baby, which would not be mommy's preference! :)

We reached 20 weeks yesterday. For those of you that have never counted down week by week inching ever closer to the end, there are typically 40 weeks in a pregnancy. The day you hit 40 weeks is your due date. SO, 20 weeks is a pretty huge milestone as the halfway point. 24 weeks is typically when they say your baby has a chance of survival if they are born prematurely, but babies have been saved as early as 21 weeks. I'm not planning to have this baby early (well...maybe a few days or weeks...), :) but I was just giving perspective to where we are in the process. My dear friend, Holly, had a baby at 27 weeks 5 days (1 lb 11 oz). It was a terrifying 80 days in the hospital for their little princess, but nearly 2 years later, she is a beautiful, thriving, healthy little thing. Medical Science is truly, truly amazing and God is GOOD to reveal His mysteries to us little by little!

That was a really random tangent. Wow. Sorry 'bout that.

I have been having issues with sleeping well lately. It comes with the preggo territory, but I have never had the issues that I'm currently facing so early and so brutal. Yesterday, I could. not. walk. I could not take a single step on my left leg. After MUCH work from my dad at his office (he's a chiropractor for those of you who do not know that), MUCH freezing from ice packs, some tears, and prayers, I slowly "unlocked" and was able to get some relief. This morning, we've taken a few steps back, but I'm up and walking around, just slowly.

With my previous 2 pregnancies, I would get to a point where I would have to crawl to the bathroom if nature called in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning without time to stretch and massage that particular muscle. That was at like 30 weeks or something. This time is much more quickly (20 weeks, remember?) and much more vicious. My chiropractor is leaving town until Monday, too, and I told him that he couldn't go! :)

OH! This has NOTHING to do with the baby or pregnancy, but I'm going to share it anyway! I have started making "Green Slushies/Smoothies" for Cassie and SHE LOVES THEM! They are quite sneaky, so you have to make sure that you make them when the littlies aren't watching. Here's the recipe:

2 c. frozen strawberries
1 c. frozen peaches
1 c. FRESH SPINACH
5-6 drops stevia (which I don't use, so I substitute) 2-3 TB of sugar
1 to 1-1/2 c. water to make it slushie.

Blend it all up until there are no green chunks left. Serve with a spoon and a straw or let it thaw some and put it in a sippy cup.

When it is fresh, we call it a slushie. When it is thawed, we call it a smoothie. You can sub bananas for the peaches or most any fruit, really.

I do not care for them. I can taste the spinach and it weirds me out. If I used less spinach, I would drink them, but who wants to use less when I got a 4-year-old DRINKING SPINACH!!!!!! She won't touch veggies with a 10-foot pole!

Ok...that's my story for now. Everyone have a blessed day and remember that God is BIGGER than whatever issues you might be facing!

NAME!

2010-05-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

Baby #3 now has a name. We will be excited to introduce to you all, Lord will, KEATON JAMES in October! Cassie, Conrey, and Keaton...I love the way they go together!

Names

2010-05-14T10:14:00.000-05:00

We've narrowed down to 2 names. I will tell as soon as we choose one. I don't need 100 people telling me why this name or that name is lousy. :) I love both names and it is just picking between the 2. Can't wait to have a name for this boy! I think that I'm still in disbelief that it is a boy! WHAT?!? :) So excited about it, but just still can't believe it!

Anyway, today is a busy, busy day getting ready for Mark's family to come and for Cassie's birthday party here tomorrow. SO, I had best get with it. I have to really force myself to not go dig out baby boy clothes. Seriously. It is tempting, but I have so much to do! Thanks everyone for all of the prayers, encouragement, and sharing in our joy about baby boy! It takes a village (or a church family) to raise a child and I know that those of you that read my blog whom I actually know love our children and want to help grow them up in the Lord. That means SO MUCH to me! :)

It's A...

2010-05-13T15:59:00.000-05:00

BOY!

I am still in shock! That was the first thing the little guy showed us on sonogram was that he was definitely a boy! I'm so surprised and just cannot believe it! We are super excited for all of the brotherly bonding that we HOPE will occur! No name yet. We've got to switch gears and focus solely on boy names now!

Excitement

2010-05-11T08:01:00.000-05:00

I am so, so excited. I feel like a kid the week of Christmas. I know that Santa is coming and I cannot wait until he does!

Okay...not Santa, but the sonographer! That's right! My sonogram is in 2, short (read that as infinitely long) days! Thursday, we will be seeing our little baby C and will hopefully be able to decide upon a name that is better than baby C once we know if we're having a sweet baby girl or another ornery baby boy! We haven't seen our little one in about 6 or 7 weeks and the wait has been long. That last sonogram was sono number 4, so we had seen baby C several times up until that point. Yes, we were quite spoiled, but you must understand all that we were going through previous to that...scary pregnancy stuff.

So, I'm sure you'll all be checking my blog all day long on Thursday now. Let me just tell you that I won't be home from the appointment until probably 4:00, so don't be expecting anything until late in the day. I WILL, however, probably get Facebook updated before this, though, so keep an eye out there.

Seriously, these days are going to be forever long. Please send up your prayers for healthy baby, healthy momma's insides, and that baby will not have those legs crossed! :)