Anxiety

My appointment is this afternoon.  I seriously need some Xanax or something.  Is that the anxiety med?  I think so, but it's been a loooong time since I've done medical transcription.  Anyway, I  need it.  I don't know why I feel so anxious about this appointment.  It's not like I've never been through this before.  Seriously.  Maybe it's the worry that I could have a pregnancy like last time.  Maybe it's the worry that something is not right.  Maybe it's the worry about twins.  Maybe it's the inevitable needles.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm seeing the nurse practioner instead of the dr.  Maybe it's the worry of having a new doctor that doesn't know my history...that didn't deliver my last two babies.  Maybe it's the worry that I'll be on modified bedrest like I was with Cassie or be in and out of the hospital like I was with Conrey.  I'm not sure what the base of the anxiety is, but it is present.  Perhaps the answer is D) All of the above.

Whatever the case may be, I'm ready for the appointment to come and go and for me to have the answers that I'm seeking and be done with it for awhile.  I'm wondering how often I'll have to go back for blood draws.  I'm wondering how often I'll see the dr and/or nurse practioner to keep up with my issues.

So, I will update sometime after my appointment.  I have a Tastefully Simple party (thanks MD!) after my appointment.  So, it might be later tonight before I'm able.  I will try to at least post something on FB about it from my phone.

Thanks for indulging me as I whine...that is if anyone read through it all.  :)

The Rooms in Pictures

Again, horrid quality pictures.  Sorry.  These pictures are random shots that I could get despite the chaos that was their rooms.  I was trying to get shots of the work we did without the mess that they had created.  :)

CASSIE'S ROOM:

We did a really dark pink, light pink, and light green stripes in varying widths, which mimic her new bedspread as seen on her new big girl bed.  She got some princess stuff for Christmas including a big poster and a calendar...oh, and a clock.  The pic of her in her bed was the first night in her big girl bed and her room was not painted yet.  We also did glow-in-the-dark elements in their rooms.  In the picture with the white "C" you can see some faint stars on the wall.  Those are glow.  We did stars, a moon, and her name twice in her room.

CONREY'S ROOM:

For Conrey's room, we did circles that mimic his bedding and the colors were turquoise, a light turquoise, white, and brown.  I thought that it turned out pretty cute.  There is a picture with his "big boy" bed too, sister's old toddler bed.  The large white circles are the glow feature in his room.

Again, sorry that the quality and color are so awful in these pictures.  The more tan background is accurate for Conrey's room.  The reddish tone is awful, but I feel crummy and don't feel like editing.  Is that awful?  Oh, well.

There you go with the rooms.  The good news?  Conrey's bedding/room are the crib bedding, so that would match.  Cassie's crib bedding was in pinks, so it would go fine in her room.  Either way, we're lucky that everything will match and not need to be redone.

A low-quality picture

Well, Becky, my s-i-l's sister, asked me to post my belly pic on here.  It is not very good quality.  I cannot get it to format.  Basically, frustration.  BUT, here it is in all its glory. 

Ridiculous that I look like this at 5 weeks and 2 days (I'm 5 weeks and 4 days as of today).  I have an appointment on Tuesday and I'm going to convince them to do a sonogram to confirm that there is only 1 little bambino in there.  If you don't know my family history (and haven't read the post below), my dad is an identical twin.  There are many generations of twins in his family line.  They say that twins skip generations.  This has not been the rule in his family.  They have been rampant all throughout every generation in our immediate family and throughout his cousin's and aunts and uncles families.   His aunt had twins.  The next year on the twins' birthday, she had another set of twins.  The next year on that same birthday she had...well, a single birth, but still.......

I just figure that, as unenthused as Mark was having 1 baby, twins might push him over the edge.  Not really, but it would certainly be more stressful and more work and more money involved and more....and more...and more...

I cannot even IMAGINE what I would look like if I had twins.  Seriously.  At about 4-5 months with my last 2 pregnancies, people thought that I was full-term WITH twins.  I'm not joking.  I just get huge.  My dad and his twin brother were each over 8 lbs.  SERIOUSLY?!?  I just cannot fathom. 

I'm trying not to think about it.  Can you tell that it is not working?  I just need to get through Tuesday so that I have confirmation and assurance that there is only 1 little somebody growing in there.  Otherwise, I might lose my mind.  :)

Ok.  I'm going to end this with a few comparison pictures of my last pregnancies and you'll understand my mental anguish.

The first picture is me at TWELVE weeks with Cassie.  The second is me at NINE weeks with Conrey.  The third is again, me at FIVE weeks with baby #3.

 

The Poll: As seen on Facebook

So, if you're confused about the nature of this post, reference the one below.

Here's what we're wondering: Do we need to name baby #3 a 'C' name since we already have Cassie and Conrey.  We were never planning on a theme of that sort...the 2 names we liked just happened to be c's.  We don't want baby #3 to feel left out.  Mommy Pam...maybe you have some insight with your two c's and then Mel.  What does everyone think?  Comment me and tell me.  Also, send us some names that are unique that are c's or any letter until we figure out if we need to stick with it or not.

The girl name I like, strangely enough, IS a C.  It is Coryn (though I'm not sure on the spelling yet).  That is what I wanted to name Conrey if he were to be a girl.  Mark says that it's the best of any I've suggested, which indicates to me that he's not sold on it, but thinks that it's ok.

We're not into really popular names, so Chloe is out and so is Caitlin, Callie, and anything close to those names because we have neices with those names.

So, send me your opinions and thoughts on the matter.

My comments have been kinda sparse lately, so send me some love!!!

By the way, the hormones are kicking in at full speed ahead.  I feel CRUDDY!  I'm thankful, but that doesn't make the yucky feelings go away.  I'm not sure if I posted this on here or facebook, so I will just say it again.  When I was feeling bad Tuesday, I told Mark, "I did NOT sign up for this!!!"  Typically, when you're "trying" or even "not trying, but  not being careful," you kind of psyche yourself up for the possibility of having a stretch of time feeling yucky.  I had no time to prepare and I'm finding that I'm having a hard time to adjusting to it.  I'm trying to adjust mentally, emotionally, and physically to what is going on and it's a slow process.  I am starting to get pretty excited about it all, but that doesn't mean I'm prepared by any means.  :)

One more random tidbit before I end this.  According to the Chinese Gender Prediction Calendar (which is said to be over 90% accurate), we are having a girl.  It was correct with my other 2 pregnancies.  We'll see, but that is what we would prefer.  Of course, we'll love and cherish this little seasame seed (that's what size the baby has grown to this week--quite an improvement over poppyseed, I'd say) no matter it's gender.  We just would love to have a girl for a number of reasons.
1.  Cassie can sleep through ANYTHING.  I can go in, turn on her light, and hang up clothes and she nevers knows anything happened.  So, if it is a girl, the crib can go in her room.  If it is a boy, Conrey will have to move into the pink princess palace that Cassie's room has recently become.
2.  I think that it would help ease the middle child syndrome for Conrey.  Cassie will be the oldest, baby (girl) would be the youngest, and Conrey would be the boy.  That would be his "it" factor and hopefully alleviate some of that.
3.  My pregnancy with Cassie was so much easier.  She didn't drain me of iron like Conrey did.  It is said that your chances of anemia are much greater carrying a boy because they just require more.
4.  Girl names are WAY easier.  :)

I lied...one more thing...my current fear of this pregnancy.  When we were dating and first married, Mark wanted 2 kids and I wanted 4.  We compromised at 3.  I always teased him saying, "Well, God will just have to give us twins that 3rd time."  It was a funny joke then...not so much now.  I'm just being silly, you may think, until I point out that there are generation after generation of twins in my dad's family, not to mention the fact that my dad was an identical twin.  The weird thing is that none of my dad's siblings had any twins and none of my generation has had any.  So, either the gene died out or the anvil is going to drop on someone soon...  Oh mylanta...

Full House

So, if you haven't read my new blog title OR seen the ticker on the side OR you haven't seen my facebook posts OR if you've been living in a cave for the last 24 hours, you've probably missed the announcement.

Baby Vickers #3: October 7th-ish, 2010.

Shocked?

Imagine how we felt when we found out.  Gallbladder issues?  No.  Virus coupled with morning sickness?  Yes.

You see...they just don't think that radioactive dye is that good for a baby that's trying to grow it's nervous system, not to mention all of the rest of its intricacies.

I'm just sayin..................

NO SCAN

So, I'm not having my scan tomorrow.  I'm doing a lot better, though, so it's okay.  I'll update more when I am able.  :)

And more updates

So, I cancelled Conrey's appointment.  My dad and brother both adjusted Conrey's neck and then my brother manipulated his ears and he has not been complaining since.  SO, the problem was either from his neck or the ear adjustment caused the fluid to drain.  HALLELUJAH!  They had adjusted him before, so I really think that it was the ear adjustment.  Let me just tell you.  An ear adjustment does NOT feel good.  Conrey didn't seem to even notice.  When I was having all of my dizziness, you may remember me talking about him adjusting my ears often.  It hurts like crazy, but is very effective.  He seriously didn't really even flinch.  Must be the fact that he's a tough boy and I'm a wussy girl.  No, I'm not being stereotypical, though I don't concern myself with such things.  I'm just stating that he is tough and I'm a wuss.

I am really feeling much, much better as far as my gallbladder is concerned.  God is good.  I was even able to eat a little, tiny bit of normal food yesterday and today.  WOO HOO!  Here's the bizzar-o thing.  My sister and brother-in-law both had attacks very similar to the one that sent me to the ER within 24 hours of mine.  Also, a few members of my brother's family have had some of the *ahem*issues*ahem* associated.  So, the question is whether this is truly gallbladder disease/stones or simply a virus that attacked that particular part of the digestive system.  I guess time and tests will tell.  All I know is that, if it is gallbladder disease/stones, I am doing well at the moment.  I have talked to many, many people that would have an attack or 2 and then go weeks, months, or years without any more.  I would be more than happy to be one of those "years" people if it is my gallbladder.  With the recent events and timing, however, I am skeptical of it truly being a reason for removal now. 

Let's see.  What else can I update about?  Well, we are now 9 months out with no employment for Mark.  May 1 was when he was laid off.  It is now February.  If you would have told me last May that he would still be "unemployed" by this date, I would have freaked.  You know what, though?  I'm not.  In Genesis when Abraham is taking his son, Isaac, to sacrifice him on God's command, Isaac asks "where is the lamb for the sacrifice, father?"  Abraham answers, "Jehovahjira."  This means "The Lord provides" or "The Lord will Provide."  All I can say about the last 9 months is, JEHOVAHJIRA!  The Lord HAS provided.  He has been truly faithful to us and we have not been in doubt...at least not for more than a moment at a time.  When the shadows of doubt have tried to creep in, God has shown us once more, Jehovahjira.  He has provided every single need and an abundance of blessings beyond our needs and wants.  He continues to bless us in some surprising ways that we never even dreamed of, and we thank Him often for knowing our needs and fulfilling them before we even think to ask. 

Pretty soon, we will have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.  I cannot even fathom those numbers for our children.  Cassie is such a big girl.  She is very helpful and very nurturing to her brother.  As for my baby boy...not so much a baby anymore.  He is very independent, but then will run to me for a snuggle before going back to playing.  He keeps us laughing all day with his faces and vocabulary.  The other day, he came to where I was, pulled the back of his diaper down a few inches and said, "BUTT!"  Mommy does not say butt, so I know full-well where he got this from...daddy!

Well, I guess that's about it for this moment.  I hope that you are all staying warm in this winter, which is obviously great supporting evidence for global warming.  Yeah......... 

I pray for each reader of my blog that Jehovahjira will be very present in your lives and that He truly will supply your every need.  Blessings on this cold, snowy Tuesday!