Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Grandmother

For those of you who don't know, my grandmother (my mom's mom) had a massive stroke in Pierre, SD on Sunday.  She wasn't expected to make it through the day, but as far as I know yet this morning, she is still hanging in there.  She is not conscious and has not been since she was found lying on the floor of her apartment.  Her friend that takes her to church every week couldn't get her to open the door, got the manager to open up the apartment, and they found her passed out.  The fear is that she was lying there for 24 hours or more before she was found.  The doctors have said that her brain is basically mush and right now is just a waiting game until she lets go of her old body and claims her new one in heaven.  She is ready to go and the family is not doing anything to prevent that.  She has been breathing completely on her own.  They are not giving her nutrition of any sort.  She is non-responsive.

The family is now just in wait mode and that is a tough mode in which to be.  They initially said 1-10 hours, but possibility of up to 72 from when she went to the hospital.  That was at about 10 or 11 on Sunday, so that timeframe is about 2/3 up.  We are just praying that this does not draw out for a long time.  She doesn't want to be back here on this earth and the family doesn't want to sit day after day watching her deteriorate at the hospital.  She is already very skeletal and it is tough to watch her labored breathing.

I am not there.  I am at home.  It has been really hard for me, as I want to be there.  I know she won't know whether I'm there or not, but I want to be surrounded by family.  I want to be with the others grieving.  I feel so alone here (I just got home last night and haven't been able to be with my siblings yet) and am really struggling to not lose it.  I just have to be strong for the baby and for my kids.  It is a 10-hour drive up there and I am not up to driving that whole way by myself with the kids.  Mark doesn't want to go until the funeral time.  It's a tough spot between a rock and a hard place. 

Prayers on all our behalf would be appreciated, but mostly just that my grandmother continues to not suffer and that she can just go home to her Lord, her mom that she never really got to know, and her dad that died when she was a young girl/teenager.  A strange little side note is that my mom's dad died 9 years ago yesterday.  They had been divorced for almost 20 years when he died, but it is still a weird thing that she had a stroke the day before that anniversary.  When she sees him in heaven, those barriers will all be dissolved and the hurt will be erased.  For that, I praise God because she lived with it a long time.

Sorry for the long, rambling post, but I just need to get it out and feel isolated and alone with noone to talk to.  I will keep you updated on the situation as I am able.

2 comments:

Holly said...

Praying for you my friend!! I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.

Bek said...

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you, and we're praying for your family.