A GOOD day

I had to post accolades to our great God for this day.  I felt GOOD today.  I had a massive headache, but even with THAT I wasn't nauseated.  I didn't throw up even once!!!  I made DINNER!  I haven't made dinner since Feb 6th, people!  Every time I had attempted it, I had thrown up and given up.  THANK YOU, LORD for a good day!!!  I just hope and pray that this is not a fluke day, but rather a step towards getting over this nasty business I've been dealing with.  I pray that I have no more puking, none to little nausea, and NO gallbladder issues!  Thanks to all of my friends for your love, support, prayers, and encouragement!  I wouldn't have made it this far without your help!  Well, I might have made it, but I would have been a whole lot more depressed!  :)  Love to you all!

The diet

Oh, dear readers...I am NOT a happy pregnant lady on this gallbladder-safe diet!  No cheeseburgers (which I've been craving).  No Chick-Fil-A (which is a daily craving even when I'm NOT pregnant).  No fries.  No Chipotle.  No taste.  No flavor.  NO NOTHING!

Wanna know what really takes the cake?  During my lovely, 3-hour siesta this afternoon (in between puking...think that I'm going to have to fill the super expensive Zofran after all), I had the BEST dream about the most DELICIOUS BBQ EVER!  I'm telling ya!  We were at this appreciation dinner and whomever was appreciating, must have REALLY appreciated.  Maybe it was subconscious saying that baby appreciates what I'm going through.  Anyway, there was EVERY kind of BBQ you could want.  Different kinds of chicken, pork, beef, ribs, etc., etc., etc.  And, in the dream, I remember eating and eating and eating and thinking that it was the best ever.  Then, I wake up with a HUMONGOUS craving for BBQ only to remember that it is A) Fatty, B) Greasy, C) Spicy, D) NOT ALLOWED!  Could I have had a more mean dream?!?  I'll take dreams of having a 2-headed baby WAY before these dreams!

I finally had some protein tonight.  I had a very plain, very dull grilled chicken breast with some very plain potatoes and green beans.  I felt much better.  Here's the problem I'm finding, though.  I am NEVER satisfied.  I might be comfortably full, so in that way I guess you could say that I'm satisfied.  However, my appetite is never satisfied.  I always want more.  I always want something different or something else.

Tonight, I want chocolate chip cookies.  BAD.  What I think that I failed to mention before, is that chocolate is a no-no for gallbladders.  I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem*

Sorry.  So, if you experience me being a bit grumpy, don't blame me, please.  I'm hormonal, I'm still puking multiple times per day, I can't have anything that I'm craving, I'm hungry again as soon as I leave the table, because the stuff on my diet does NOT stick to your ribs.

*Insert sobby violin music here and I am done with the whine fest*

Did I mention, though, that I am thankful.  I am thankful for some much in the midst of my grumbling.  I have a precious new niece named Kiera that is beautiful and lovely and pure.  I won't meet her until she's about 9 months old, because they live in Portland, OR, but how good is our God to bless our family with #9 in the grandkid generation? 

I am thankful that, as far as we can tell, we have a healthy, beautiful *cough*babygirl*cough* growing in my secret incubator.  That was a joke, by the way.  I am still dead-set that this is a girl and I will not believe otherwise until I see boy parts.  Anyway, God is doing miraculous wonders and, even though I am uncomfortable and irritable, He chose ME in which to perform his wonders.  What an honor!

I am thankful that spring keeps peeking in to let us know that it is truly coming.  We had a beautiful day at the Tulsa Zoo yesterday on an impromtu getaway for our little family.  Cassie told Mark, "Baby C, Me, You, Conrey, and Mommy are all going!"  She mentioned the baby first in her list and I realized that we truly are a little family of 5 now regardless of whether the baby is born yet or not.  The family has had to revolve around baby and mommy lately and I believe that it has truly deepened the love for Baby C from all of us.  It was a gorgeous spring day in Tulsa and we all loved being in the sunshine!

I am thankful for my husband.  He has kept this house running.  He has kept it operating.  He has kept the children clothed, clean, fed, and happy while I've been unable to do my part.  God truly blessed him with extra doses of strength, patience, and endurance over the past few weeks.  Did I mention on my last post that I came home from the hospital to dishes done, laundry done, kids rooms picked up, and the house in a general state of order?  AMAZED at that man and love him so much!

I am thankful. 

Lord, please continue to knit our little baby together.  Protect her (or him) and form each little part according to your master plan.  Keep us both healthy and safe from dangers known and unknown.  Help us to enjoy each day and to not wish them away.  Be with my other 2 beautiful blessings and keep them safe in the shadow of your wing.  Thank you...

Oh, MY!

Let's see...where do I even begin to start?  I guess the beginning, of sorts, is the best place, neh?

So, most of you know how incredibly sick I've been.  I've been puking a bunch and was wondering why my morning sickness had increased, but wasn't concerned...just sick.

Funny thing, that morning sickness.  It wasn't. 

Saturday morning when I threw up, I had one of the WORST pains I can imagine in my abdomen.  I explained it as feeling like someone was playing tug-of-war with my esophogus on one end and my stomach on the other.  NOT fun.  Each time I threw up, the pain intensified.  During dinner (grilled chicken, spanish rice, refried beans), it became a constant, nagging pain, but not horrible in the constant form, just uncomfortable.  I called my dad and he suggested that I get in to the ER in case it was something like a tear in a muscle, an ulcer from all of the acid, etc.

I get to the ER and they give me 2 sublingual (under the tongue) Zofran tablets.  Right away, I realize that they have artificial sweeteners in them...I can taste it.  If you don't know, I'm allergic to all artificial sweeteners.  Yay.  Being sublingual, the moment I tasted it was too late...it was in my system.  I start shaking and puking.  Just what I needed, right?

They start an IV and give me Zofran through the IV.  Once I'm calmed down nauseated-wise, they decide that they're going to give me a "GI cocktail" to take the pain away.  If anyone ever offers you a GI cocktail, RUN!  It was a mixture of liquid lidocaine (the numbing stuff the dentist uses) and malox.  When I finally worked up the nerve to drink the stuff, I threw it up within about 1 minute and had a very numb feeling mouth and throat as a result.  It didn't help.  It was awful. 

My labs finally came back and the doctor shocked us ALL when he informed us that my lipase was elevated and that I was having a gallbladder attack.  It never even crossed my mind!  What was making it different than the times before was that it had effected my pancreas, as well, and I was actually diagnosed with pancreatitis, which means I had an angry pancreas.  He said that I was being transferred from the ER center to the hospital across town BY AMBULENCE.  Oh my lanta.  Seriously?  It was a bit ridiculous!  They kept checking my vitals on the way there and it was really silly!  They got me to my room where I had nurse that I referred to (internally, of course) as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dummer, because they were both pretty clueless and really bumbly.  They informed me that I was an an NPO diet meaning that I could take nothing in by mouth (except for a nasty medicine that I had to drink 4x per day) and I would get fluids and nutrition through my IV.  They had to start a new IV because the ER one had fallen out (great job, nurse!) and it took THREE pokes to get it.  Ugh.  Anyway, I was NOT happy about the no food thing.  Anyone else take note of the fact that I'm PREGNANT and still in the FIRST TRIMESTER?!?  The only way I survive is by constantly eating!

Ok...long story shortened a bit.  I had tests run, everything looked better.  Baby looked AMAZING on our 2 sonograms.  In the first one, she (ok...or he) stretched out one leg and then the other and then each arm.  It was incredible to see a sonogram at this stage when you could see the entire teeny, tiny baby that actually LOOKED like a baby.  MAGICAL!  I cannot fathom anyone watching that and denying that it is a baby that was created in the image of God!  Seriously!

I was on food restriction from Sat night (remember that I'd thrown up dinner) through Monday at lunch where they put me on a liquid diet.  Although eating cream of broccoli soup and cream of chicken soup were not my idea of yum.  Finally at like 7 p.m., I was given solid food and tolerated it all well.  This morning, I was still doing good, so they unhooked the IV and eventually let me go home.

I'm doing pretty well and am just on a very, very bland diet with no grease, no fried, no pepper, no spice, no eating anything tasty kind of diet.

BUT, it is soooo worth it to not be throwing up repeatedly!  I haven't thrown up since Saturday night and I haven't had nausea medicine since Sunday, so I'm really pleased with that!

Thanks to everyone that knew about this all and was praying hard for me.  It means a lot to have such great love and support! 

Something is NOT working here...

So, we went to dinner with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law last night.  It was an enjoyable time that got me out of my depression that I was living in yesterday, allowing me to update last night.  However, I forgot to update a funny little story that told us that we needed to alter our approach with sweet *ahem* Cassie.

It's not secret to most that we've had our hands full with Cass lately.  She has been a real challenge, but mostly, to our delight, in public.  Last night at dinner, she was really great!  She sat nicely in her chair, playing and coloring quietly.  She ate all *gasp* of her food.  She was really good...especially compared to how she'd acted most of the day. 

So, in the car on the way home, I said, "Cassie, I'm really proud of how you behaved tonight.  That was how I like my girls to behave!"  Her response is what got us.  "So, what do I get???"

YIKES!  After the shock settled that she would expect something for good behavior, I explained to her that we don't get rewarded for acting the way that is expected of us.  I said that behaving as she did was what was expected and acting up was what was inappropriate.  Then, I told her that sometimes when we act appropriately, we do get more priviledges, but that that was just a bonus to acting right where we don't get punishments.  I'm not sure how I put it all, but through our conversation, it was clear that she understood what I was saying.  It was quiet for a few minutes before she said, "So, what do I get?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Apparently, our positive reinforcement trying to produce desired results has backfired.  It felt off to give her rewards for good behavior when she'd been so badly behaving most of the time and now I know why it was counterproductive.  We had further conversation and she was quiet the rest of the way home.  Not sure what that means, as she is NEVER quiet, but hopefully, she was thinking about the benefits of NOT being punished and therefore acting appropriately.  I guess we'll find out...

Oh, and Bek P, we'll be getting pictures taken soon!  We are just waiting for a little GREEN around here before we get them done.  A friend at church is going to take them and we're hoping to do some outside.  We'll see if things green up soon enough.  If not, we'll just do them inside, I guess.  Glad Chloe likes them from afar.  :)  Wish they could be playmates!  Hang in there with the sickness.  It's no fun, but it will be worth it come Oct!!!

An update...as usual...overdue

Sorry for the lack of update.  Pacis are a thing of history and he's done really, really well.  Naptime is still WAY too short for mommy's liking, BUT he is sleeping in until like 8:30 in the mornings, so I'll go with shorter nap for longer morning. 

Baby C is doing great!  I had an appointment yesterday where we did the whole "hear the heartbeat" thing for the first time.  It was mid 160s and the doctor agrees with my theory that it is a girl.  He's been delivering babies since awhile before I was born, so I trust his expertise.  :)  I still feel pretty awful a lot of the time.  I have been a puke factory, but I'm trying to hang in there.  I am 11 weeks and 2 days (as I'm writing this Friday night) and am hoping that this week will be the end of it all.  Maybe?  Please?  I went until 15 weeks with the other 2, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same.  Of course, NOTHING...I repeat NOTHING has been the same as it was with my other 2 (that were pretty much identical until the passing out started with Conrey), so I also won't be surprised if it is completely different.  Maybe since it's been different, this kid will be different too.  I wouldn't mind a quiet, still, calm child.  I might say that I deserve one after my 2 livewires!  Both kids LOVE the baby so much!  They both ask to see "baby," which means I lift up my shirt for them to interact with their baby.  They hug, kiss, talk to, and pat/rub on my belly.  They both are so sweet and loving to the baby on the inside and I HOPE it carries over when it's a crying, screaming, mommy-stealing little baby on the outside!

Cassie is getting SO big all of the sudden!  Everyone is commenting on it!  She has a little meat on her bones, she's getting really tall, and she just seems to have finally filled her little skin out instead of being a stick!  She is really progressing in learning her letters and loves to spot familiar letters when we're out in public.  She was never one, single bit interested in letters before now, so I'm glad that she won't be going to kindergarten not knowing any except C, A, S, I, and E.  :)  She can recognize, probably, 85% of the letters and most all of her numbers, so 6 and 9 seem to confuse her. 

Conrey, besides the paci triumph, is acting older and older these days, too.  He can communicate much more effectively.  He is more self-sufficient.  He sometimes acts silly to get a laugh.  He's DEFINITELY a ham!  I've been seeing a very caring, nurturing side to him lately, too.  He has a Barney book called, "HAPPY, MAD, SILLY, SAD."  Whenever I do the mad or sad, he turns around (on my lap, which isn't easy to do at this point), puts his little arm around my neck and squeezes me tight to comfort me.  I couldn't figure out what he was doing the first time and was kind of annoyed.  Then, when I realized, I let him do it and praised him for being kind.

I guess that's about it.  If you haven't heard about the weather here, it was 62 today and now is sleeting, about 33 degrees, and we're supposed to get like 7-8 inches of snow between tonight, tomorrow, and tomorrow night.  WHAT?!?  Then, 60 again by Tues or Wed.  Gotta love Kansas!  Do we wear shorts one day and sweats the next?  I guess!  So, if you're somewhere warm dry, be thinking about all of us cold, wet people and send a few sunbeams our way!

LONG NIGHT???

[UPDATE]  Once Conrey GOT to sleep (after an hour and a half of grieving his old friend "mah-mah"--his word for paci), he slept like a champ all night long and I didn't have to get up with him once!  PRAISE GOD!!!

This could be a VERY long night.  The paci's have all been clipped.  He is a sad boy.  We'll see how it goes...  I'll update tomorrow...if I'm conscious.

A look back at the past 10 months

So, this past Monday marked 10 months since Mark got laid off from the job we moved to Wichita to pursue.  He's been laid off longer than he had the job.  How have we made it this 10, long months?  But for the grace of God go I...WE.  God has been gracious.  He has been sufficient.  He has provided.  He has been faithful.  He has been abundantly free with His blessings each and every day.

The day that Mark was told not to come in to work and then the next day when they laid him off were days of fear, disbelief, and a sense of loss of purpose for both of us.  In the days, weeks, and months that have followed, we have learned the true meaning of God's providence.  When we weren't sure how we were going to pay the bills, a side job (or 2 or 3 or 10) would come up and be just the right amount to cover our expenses.  There were times when anonymous gifts of Dillon's or Target giftcards came in the mail and it eased the burden.  Once, we got a $200 Visa card out of the blue.  If any of those were from any of you, we thank you deeply for blessing us.

The spring, summer, and fall were rough times with Mark working a lot in KC for his brother and the kids and I staying here and learning to survive on our own.  I know that sounds dramatic, but I am NOT an alone kind of person!  I have learned that I CAN survive him being gone (for SHORT periods of time, Lord...not permanently!) and that I am a stronger person that I thought.  God has granted me sweet sleep on many a night when I was edgy.  Mark got a renewed appreciation for the kids and I as he was away from us and missing all of the things they were doing.   He had been home soooo much and now was gone soooo much that it really changed his perspective in a positive way.  We struggled in our marriage last summer and overcame the struggles triumphantly as we learned to draw nearer to each other and to God as we travelled this unknown and uncertain journey.  Our marriage has truly never been better than following that rough, unhappy time.  Sometimes we must be in the fire where we're unhappy and uncomfortable in order to be molded to His liking and to His likeness.

We are looking ahead at another spring, summer, and fall wondering if that schedule might not be in our future once again.  We'll have to see what God has in His plans for us.  If that is what he decides, we will follow His lead.

I really cannot fully explain what an improvement this year has had on our individual lives, our marriage, and our sense of family.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to all of you that have prayed us through all of the mountains and valleys that we've faced.  If you would have told me last May that Mark would not have a job come March, I might have had an emotional breakdown.  Now, I just kind of laugh and say, "SO WHAT!"  God has had other plans for us and that has been sufficient...

Mid-week Mayhem

It is only...ONLY Tuesday...

I slept maybe 3-4 hours last night. 

Conrey is sick.

I had to cancel watching my kiddos today because of him being sick and me being exhausted.

I had to cancel playgroup tomorrow because he is still running a fever.

He napped in his bed for about 20 minutes.  Just as I was laying down to nap, he woke up crying.  He wanted to be held to sleep.  He slept (with his blankie) on my chest.  Did I mention he has a fever?  I was boiling to death and thought I was going to puke from heat stroke.  Once he was sound asleep I rolled him onto the bed and tried to rest myself.  Not-so-much.  I think that I slept for 30 minutes or so, which I'm thankful for.  It was just not very restful with a sick baby next to me who was very, very restless.

I threw up on our keyboard this morning.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I was sitting at the computer and decided to take my vitamin.  It and the drink that I was taking it with came right back up in about .002 seconds.  Next time, I will take my vitamin while standing over the sink.

I got 5 boxes from Tastefully Simple today including everything from our new line.  I am SO excited about our spring line.  If you love to cook out/bbq, check out the spring product line on the lower left of our website: http://www.tastefullysimple.com/.  It is awesome!  If you love to cook for the season, we've got some awesome products to help you do just that!  I am needing about $500 more to reach my goal by March 16th, so if you're interested in placing an order, please let me know ASAP!  :)

That was definitely the bright spot of my week so far...getting all of those products to sample and fall in love with just as I did the fall/winter line, which is expiring March 7th!

My kids have their first dental appointment on Friday.  I had no idea that Cassie should have gone to the dentist by now.  Is that awful?  Apparently, you're supposed to start at age 1.  I didn't know.  Dumb mommy...  Conrey has a spot on one of his teeth that I think might be an enamel deficiency.  Wonder what fun that will mean for him?  I just sincerely hope that the kids inherited Mark's teeth and not mine.  Hear that baby?  Pick your daddy's tooth genes!  They're WAY better!

I guess that is about all of the exciting news that I have for you.  I'm probably boring some of you with this, but wanted to post a quote from Cassie, as seen on facebook.  She tooted the other day and then said, "Put THAT in your book..."  Mark taught her that, but she's never actually said it.  It's from Dance With Wolves.  Cracked me up!

Thanks for stopping by (or reading on Google Reader...).  Catch 'ya later.