Saturday, March 20, 2010

Something is NOT working here...

So, we went to dinner with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law last night.  It was an enjoyable time that got me out of my depression that I was living in yesterday, allowing me to update last night.  However, I forgot to update a funny little story that told us that we needed to alter our approach with sweet *ahem* Cassie.

It's not secret to most that we've had our hands full with Cass lately.  She has been a real challenge, but mostly, to our delight, in public.  Last night at dinner, she was really great!  She sat nicely in her chair, playing and coloring quietly.  She ate all *gasp* of her food.  She was really good...especially compared to how she'd acted most of the day. 

So, in the car on the way home, I said, "Cassie, I'm really proud of how you behaved tonight.  That was how I like my girls to behave!"  Her response is what got us.  "So, what do I get???"

YIKES!  After the shock settled that she would expect something for good behavior, I explained to her that we don't get rewarded for acting the way that is expected of us.  I said that behaving as she did was what was expected and acting up was what was inappropriate.  Then, I told her that sometimes when we act appropriately, we do get more priviledges, but that that was just a bonus to acting right where we don't get punishments.  I'm not sure how I put it all, but through our conversation, it was clear that she understood what I was saying.  It was quiet for a few minutes before she said, "So, what do I get?"


Apparently, our positive reinforcement trying to produce desired results has backfired.  It felt off to give her rewards for good behavior when she'd been so badly behaving most of the time and now I know why it was counterproductive.  We had further conversation and she was quiet the rest of the way home.  Not sure what that means, as she is NEVER quiet, but hopefully, she was thinking about the benefits of NOT being punished and therefore acting appropriately.  I guess we'll find out...

Oh, and Bek P, we'll be getting pictures taken soon!  We are just waiting for a little GREEN around here before we get them done.  A friend at church is going to take them and we're hoping to do some outside.  We'll see if things green up soon enough.  If not, we'll just do them inside, I guess.  Glad Chloe likes them from afar.  :)  Wish they could be playmates!  Hang in there with the sickness.  It's no fun, but it will be worth it come Oct!!!

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