A little bit of nothing

So, just felt like I should do an update of some sort.  Plus, I had some pictures that I wanted to share, so I'll just stick them randomly in here.  :)  They are poor quality because they're uploaded from my phone.

Conrey has been very interested in the potty lately, though he's never actually used it.  Here is our 1 day wearing big boy undies which I ended in pee on the floor.  Is that not the cutest little figure you've ever seen?!?  HA!  Such chunky little legs!

He thinks that he's a pretty big man these days.  We've been having a problem with him biting and biting and biting.  So far, he's only bitten Cassie (over and over again) and one time he bit the 1-year-old that I keep.  SO SORRY!  I caught him before it made a mark, but the little guy was still not happy!  I'm trying to figure out how to nip this in the bud, so if you've had a biter, give me some tips!

He has become quite the flirt.  Here he is flirting with some teenage girls at a restaurant one night.

He kept putting his hand under his chin and posing for them with this goofy little grin.

Finally, here's a picture of his angry face.  That was a "I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO SHOW OFF ANYMORE, MOM" face.  Even his angry face makes me laugh!

The other night, out of the blue, he counted to 10.  WHAT?  I didn't know he could count past 3!  I was rather surprised by it!  He won't do it for the camera, though.  Bummer!  He says, "Un, ooo, eee, or, ive, ix, evan, ae, eye, EN!"  It's pretty funny!

I'll leave you with a silly face that he made on night over and over:

Now for some sweet pictures of my girl.  The first one is from when Mark was working out of town last week.  She came out of bed crying that she missed Daddy, so we took a picture to send to him to make them both feel better.  Although it's crummy quality, you can still tell that she's sad and trying to look happy.

Here are two sweet pictures of her that I think just show her sweet side (which we're seeing more and more as we're "training" in obedience. 

She really is getting the hang of the "I'm the mommy/You're the kid" concept.  It's been a tough one to reprogram after our failing to keep it up as she has gotten older.  She is definitely maturing.  She still won't learn her letters, but is actually very interested in adding and can do very simple addition problems.  She can look at a group of objects and mentally determine how many there are very quickly and can recognize patterns of things very well.  She loves rhyming and will say, "HEY!  That rhymed!"  Of course, she'll also say things like she did this morning: "Snow White, White!  That rhymes!"  Silly girl!

I suppose that I should update on baby bunting baking in the oven.  Cassie has decided to call it Baby "C".  Baby C is now about the size of a kidney bean.  The placenta is taking over this week, which Daddy hopes means I'll be less crazy and emotional each and every day.  :)  All of the bones, muscles, and organs are, Lord willing, in place and the bones in the legs are starting to harden.  The facial features are forming and eyelids have already covered the little eyes.

Such a mysterious miracle going on in there!  I am thankful that the creator, my great God can see what is happening in there and is orchestrating each and every cell.  Thank you, Lord!

Well, I guess that's all.  My three kiddos in a nutshell (though baby C is the only one that could actually fit in said nutshell).

Nightmare on MY street...or not...

Before I write my saga, everything is fine and we are all safe and sound. Here we go:

We had a rough, rough night. I didn't get to sleep until about 1:00 a.m. as it was. I just tossed and turned unable to get comfy. I woke up from a dumb dream where I let the bathtub overflow (we lived in a 2 story house and it was soaking the main level) and Mark was mad.  It was a frustrating dream in many ways. As I've gotten older, I've become really good at waking myself up from dreams, so I woke myself up and did a "rewind." I replayed the dream where I turned off the bath while I was still standing there, etc. Anyway, I heard normal night noises and just laid there waiting to go back to sleep. Suddenly, Mark's phone lights up on his side of the bed. It was bright, then dim, then went back off. I quickly cataloged the noises that I'd been hearing coupled with the light and the fact that he was snoring his lungs out and started to panic in my head. If you don't know, I sleep at the opposite end of the bed from Mark, so the lamp was by my feet. I veeeeery slowly get turned around, flick on the lamp, and jump out of the bed ready to fight, though I don't know what I thought I was going to do other than get shot!

I rush to his side of the bed to investigate the floor area that I couldn't see from my side, go into his bathroom and look in the shower all the while he is starting to wake up and look at me like I'm crazy. I explain to him as I open our closets and check through there. I was visibly shaking like a leaf...or worse than a leaf. I was shaking HARD. He thinks that I'm imagining things and doesn't get up...just tells me to calm down. I tell him what happened and he assures me there is no one, but I tell him that there IS someone and he needs to check things out. He thinks I'm crazy, but walks out to the living room and sits on a chair at the table. I have already checked my bathroom by now and go check the kids rooms and check on the kids.

It took me like 15 or 20 minutes to convince him how serious I was and he finally checked downstairs thoroughly including the windows and stuff. All is secure.

We're sitting at the table and I'm in front of the computer. I KNOW that I saw light and I KNOW that I was fully awake. So, I google something about phones lighting up on their own and come up with a bunch of sites talking about people's phones just lighting up for who-knows-what reason.

I tell Mark he might as well go back to bed. He says he doesn't know if he can sleep. I left a light on in our big room and checked the kids again. I got in bed with the lamp on and after many conversations of "I trust you, God. Please take care of us. I am trusting you to keep us safe, God..." I finally turned our light off and laid down (with my glasses still on). After awhile, I was able to take them off and relax and finally go to sleep, though it was a restless sleep for sure where I heard every noise possible until it was light outside. I slept soundly, however, from when the sun came up until the kids got us up at 7:45.

WHEW! Sorry for the loooong story, but I needed to get it out! It was so freaky and I am so thankful that all was safe, but am angry at that 'ol devil for scaring the tar out of me and stealing some much-needed sleep! So, if you try to get ahold of me today and can't, it's because I'm sleeping!

Thank you

[EDIT]  My due date from my "dates" is Oct 6.  From this sonogram, Oct 8.  It's all kind of speculative since this was still a pretty early sonogram, so we're just sticking with the 6th.  Most important thing is that baby is growing well and properly.  Thanks for asking, Bek!

We saw one, perfectly beating teeny, tiny heart today.  Thank you, God, for your miraculous wonders.

Random Reflections

I don't really have anything to post of interest, but was told that I needed to blog.  The wife of an old friend of mine died this week of an aneurysm.  I joined the "In Loving Memory" group on facebook and found her blog via that.  Reading it knowing that she'll never update it again made me think about my own blog and the possible importance of capturing even the most ordinary things.  She wrote about every day things, but her blog is, no doubt, a thousand times more important to her friends and families now than it ever was before.  I'm sure that they can hear her voice in the words, see her expressions, imagine with perfect clarity her hand gesturing.

I don't intend for anything to happen to me in the near future, but God is the date keeper and I don't know when He will decide that my time is up.  So, I want to leave a library of me behind whether it is next week, next year, next decade, or when I'm 110 so that my loved ones can have it to treasure...the dull, the mundane, the ordinary.

Rose was 27 and had a bad headache Sunday evening.  She ended up having a brain aneurysm and (as I understand it) after surgery was on life support.  God called her number.  Her husband, my friend from the youth group, Justin, is now left to deal with shock and grief.  You don't think that you'll lose your spouse until you're both old and gray.  It's a tough pill to swallow.  Her entire body has been donated to those in need.  Her lungs were given yesterday to a woman with cystic fibrosis that had about 1 week left to live.  What a tragedy for her family.  What an indescribable blessing for the woman and her family.

As I think about death, I think about life.  I think about the little one being knit together in my womb as I type.  When we found out that we were pregnant on Jan 31st, the baby was smaller than a poppyseed.  Don't call my baby an embryo, by the way...that doesn't jive with me.  Anyway, two and a half weeks later, it is the size of a tic-tac according to one of my pregancy websites.  That is an incredible amount of growth in a short amount of time.  That baby and my body are both working so hard to grow, create, and sustain this precious life that is already established in there.  God knows every single day of this little one's life.  He knows the number of days.  He knows the character of my baby.  He knows the gender and the name. 

And yet...

I am uneasy with the pregnancy.  Something doesn't seem right to me and I can't put my finger on it.  I feel as though I'm not having the right symptoms.  I'm not feeling the right "things."  If this is simply going to be a smoother pregnancy, then PRAISE GOD!  I will take it!  However, I don't know what is going on in there.  There is no window in this oven door where I can peek and watch the wonders going on in this sacred place.  Tuesday, we should be able to see/hear the heartbeat and then I can rest easy that things are going as they should.  I will know if God is just blessing me with less hormone-related sickness or if there is a reason that I'm not sick.  I will have the answers and will be able to relax.

I trust God whatever is going on in there.  If the baby is progressing nicely or is not faring so well, I trust Him and know that He is sovreign and has a master plan.  So, I will just rest in Him until I can see with my own eyes...and even after that, still will I rest in Him and put my hope in Him.

Tastefully Simple

Hello, faithful readers!  I just wanted to give an update about all things FOOD!  As you all know, I began a business venture in December and it has changed our lives in this short amount of time and I know that it is going to even more in the future!

How has it changed our lives?  Well, there are several ways.  First of all, I have been able to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and interact with ADULTS!  That has been such a huge blessing to me and I've loved every minute of it!  Also, Mark has taken on the responsibility of keeping the kids whenever I have parties.  They have had more time to bond and just have fun together.  It has been great for all 3 of them!  I have been making $$$!  That is a huge blessing!  So far, I've made around $1000 in just 2 months!  It's been a great adventure and it makes me feel so good knowing that I've found a way to help ease the financial burden!  We have, ourselves, enjoyed GOOD FOOD that doesn't take me all afternoon to prepare.  The name says it all, it is tasty and it is simple!

It has also been amazing for me to be able to introduce a product that I love to people that have never heard of it before, much less tried it!  This area is a pretty untapped market for Tastefully Simple, which started in MN and is still moving southward.  At my parties, I've had a total of 2 people that had ever had our products.  That is so exciting for me!  As we do our "moving buffet" I hear exclamations over how amazing my products are and it just excites me so much!  Food is what brings people (and families) together and when I'm able to be a part of that, it does my heart good!

I was inspired to write this post when I came across the post of a friend of mine that recently hosted a party.  It was awesome publicity for me SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE LOVES MY PRODUCTS...for no other reason!  I decided that it was high time I updated on how well this is all working out for me and how great the experience has been!

I started thinking about what a great opportunity this would be to share with someone else that is looking to earn money.  Seriously, it couldn't be easier.  They make it fool-proof to do a party.  They provide you every tool you need (except for motivation, which they DO provide if only you'll catch the bug) to be successful!  It is a cheap start-up at only $170 to start up and to do your first 4 parties.  It is an incredible opportunity and I would be thrilled to share it with anyone interested.

Finally, if you've never heard of Tastefully Simple and have never tried our products, I would encourage you to try them...to come to a party or to order something and take a chance on it!  You won't lose anything, as our products are 100% satisfaction guaranteed!  If you DO try something and you don't like it, I'll refund it and/or replace it with something else...hassle-free.

So, to sum up: I love Tastefully Simple and think that you will too!  :)

Oh, and thanks to MD for the awesome blog review!

The appointment in full

I wasn't in a place emotionally where I could update yesterday with the full report of my appointment.  Today, I am basking in the glory of God and His infinite wisdom and am able to share. 

There is one, beautiful little gestational sac in there that is looking healthy and well.  I'm too early to hear/see the heartbeat, so I have another appointment in 2 weeks for another sonogram and recheck.

There IS reason that I'm so big so quickly, though.  There was an area called a subchorionic hemorrhage in the not far from the baby.  The sonographer believes that it was a failed twin pregnancy.  Basically, it was an area of blood that could have been another baby or just implantation bleeding.  However, there appeared to be a yolk sac, which would indicate that there initially was twins and one just didn't make it.  That would mean that my hormone levels were doubled and that would explain why my belly popped out so quickly and why I had such a quickly positive test so late at night. 

My immediate feeling and reaction was that of loss.  It broke my heart thinking of what might have been.  However, I know that God sees all and knew what was going on in there.  For whatever reason, He knew that this baby, if that is indeed what it was, was not in His plans.

We obviously did not want twins and are thankful beyond all measure to have a healthy baby in progress.  We couldn't ask for more than this, especially considering that we hadn't even asked for it!  We thank God for His providence and for not giving us more than we were capable of handling.

The idea of twins has always appealed to me because my dad was an identical twin and I never got to meet his twin.  However, it was always just an idea that appealed to me...not the reality of it.  :)

So, that is my story.  Sorry that it's kind of random and not very fluid.  I still have joy and grief mingling in my heart, so my thoughts are not clear.  Thanks for sticking with me and for your prayers.

Anxiety

My appointment is this afternoon.  I seriously need some Xanax or something.  Is that the anxiety med?  I think so, but it's been a loooong time since I've done medical transcription.  Anyway, I  need it.  I don't know why I feel so anxious about this appointment.  It's not like I've never been through this before.  Seriously.  Maybe it's the worry that I could have a pregnancy like last time.  Maybe it's the worry that something is not right.  Maybe it's the worry about twins.  Maybe it's the inevitable needles.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm seeing the nurse practioner instead of the dr.  Maybe it's the worry of having a new doctor that doesn't know my history...that didn't deliver my last two babies.  Maybe it's the worry that I'll be on modified bedrest like I was with Cassie or be in and out of the hospital like I was with Conrey.  I'm not sure what the base of the anxiety is, but it is present.  Perhaps the answer is D) All of the above.

Whatever the case may be, I'm ready for the appointment to come and go and for me to have the answers that I'm seeking and be done with it for awhile.  I'm wondering how often I'll have to go back for blood draws.  I'm wondering how often I'll see the dr and/or nurse practioner to keep up with my issues.

So, I will update sometime after my appointment.  I have a Tastefully Simple party (thanks MD!) after my appointment.  So, it might be later tonight before I'm able.  I will try to at least post something on FB about it from my phone.

Thanks for indulging me as I whine...that is if anyone read through it all.  :)

The Rooms in Pictures

Again, horrid quality pictures.  Sorry.  These pictures are random shots that I could get despite the chaos that was their rooms.  I was trying to get shots of the work we did without the mess that they had created.  :)

CASSIE'S ROOM:

We did a really dark pink, light pink, and light green stripes in varying widths, which mimic her new bedspread as seen on her new big girl bed.  She got some princess stuff for Christmas including a big poster and a calendar...oh, and a clock.  The pic of her in her bed was the first night in her big girl bed and her room was not painted yet.  We also did glow-in-the-dark elements in their rooms.  In the picture with the white "C" you can see some faint stars on the wall.  Those are glow.  We did stars, a moon, and her name twice in her room.

CONREY'S ROOM:

For Conrey's room, we did circles that mimic his bedding and the colors were turquoise, a light turquoise, white, and brown.  I thought that it turned out pretty cute.  There is a picture with his "big boy" bed too, sister's old toddler bed.  The large white circles are the glow feature in his room.

Again, sorry that the quality and color are so awful in these pictures.  The more tan background is accurate for Conrey's room.  The reddish tone is awful, but I feel crummy and don't feel like editing.  Is that awful?  Oh, well.

There you go with the rooms.  The good news?  Conrey's bedding/room are the crib bedding, so that would match.  Cassie's crib bedding was in pinks, so it would go fine in her room.  Either way, we're lucky that everything will match and not need to be redone.

A low-quality picture

Well, Becky, my s-i-l's sister, asked me to post my belly pic on here.  It is not very good quality.  I cannot get it to format.  Basically, frustration.  BUT, here it is in all its glory. 

Ridiculous that I look like this at 5 weeks and 2 days (I'm 5 weeks and 4 days as of today).  I have an appointment on Tuesday and I'm going to convince them to do a sonogram to confirm that there is only 1 little bambino in there.  If you don't know my family history (and haven't read the post below), my dad is an identical twin.  There are many generations of twins in his family line.  They say that twins skip generations.  This has not been the rule in his family.  They have been rampant all throughout every generation in our immediate family and throughout his cousin's and aunts and uncles families.   His aunt had twins.  The next year on the twins' birthday, she had another set of twins.  The next year on that same birthday she had...well, a single birth, but still.......

I just figure that, as unenthused as Mark was having 1 baby, twins might push him over the edge.  Not really, but it would certainly be more stressful and more work and more money involved and more....and more...and more...

I cannot even IMAGINE what I would look like if I had twins.  Seriously.  At about 4-5 months with my last 2 pregnancies, people thought that I was full-term WITH twins.  I'm not joking.  I just get huge.  My dad and his twin brother were each over 8 lbs.  SERIOUSLY?!?  I just cannot fathom. 

I'm trying not to think about it.  Can you tell that it is not working?  I just need to get through Tuesday so that I have confirmation and assurance that there is only 1 little somebody growing in there.  Otherwise, I might lose my mind.  :)

Ok.  I'm going to end this with a few comparison pictures of my last pregnancies and you'll understand my mental anguish.

The first picture is me at TWELVE weeks with Cassie.  The second is me at NINE weeks with Conrey.  The third is again, me at FIVE weeks with baby #3.

 

The Poll: As seen on Facebook

So, if you're confused about the nature of this post, reference the one below.

Here's what we're wondering: Do we need to name baby #3 a 'C' name since we already have Cassie and Conrey.  We were never planning on a theme of that sort...the 2 names we liked just happened to be c's.  We don't want baby #3 to feel left out.  Mommy Pam...maybe you have some insight with your two c's and then Mel.  What does everyone think?  Comment me and tell me.  Also, send us some names that are unique that are c's or any letter until we figure out if we need to stick with it or not.

The girl name I like, strangely enough, IS a C.  It is Coryn (though I'm not sure on the spelling yet).  That is what I wanted to name Conrey if he were to be a girl.  Mark says that it's the best of any I've suggested, which indicates to me that he's not sold on it, but thinks that it's ok.

We're not into really popular names, so Chloe is out and so is Caitlin, Callie, and anything close to those names because we have neices with those names.

So, send me your opinions and thoughts on the matter.

My comments have been kinda sparse lately, so send me some love!!!

By the way, the hormones are kicking in at full speed ahead.  I feel CRUDDY!  I'm thankful, but that doesn't make the yucky feelings go away.  I'm not sure if I posted this on here or facebook, so I will just say it again.  When I was feeling bad Tuesday, I told Mark, "I did NOT sign up for this!!!"  Typically, when you're "trying" or even "not trying, but  not being careful," you kind of psyche yourself up for the possibility of having a stretch of time feeling yucky.  I had no time to prepare and I'm finding that I'm having a hard time to adjusting to it.  I'm trying to adjust mentally, emotionally, and physically to what is going on and it's a slow process.  I am starting to get pretty excited about it all, but that doesn't mean I'm prepared by any means.  :)

One more random tidbit before I end this.  According to the Chinese Gender Prediction Calendar (which is said to be over 90% accurate), we are having a girl.  It was correct with my other 2 pregnancies.  We'll see, but that is what we would prefer.  Of course, we'll love and cherish this little seasame seed (that's what size the baby has grown to this week--quite an improvement over poppyseed, I'd say) no matter it's gender.  We just would love to have a girl for a number of reasons.
1.  Cassie can sleep through ANYTHING.  I can go in, turn on her light, and hang up clothes and she nevers knows anything happened.  So, if it is a girl, the crib can go in her room.  If it is a boy, Conrey will have to move into the pink princess palace that Cassie's room has recently become.
2.  I think that it would help ease the middle child syndrome for Conrey.  Cassie will be the oldest, baby (girl) would be the youngest, and Conrey would be the boy.  That would be his "it" factor and hopefully alleviate some of that.
3.  My pregnancy with Cassie was so much easier.  She didn't drain me of iron like Conrey did.  It is said that your chances of anemia are much greater carrying a boy because they just require more.
4.  Girl names are WAY easier.  :)

I lied...one more thing...my current fear of this pregnancy.  When we were dating and first married, Mark wanted 2 kids and I wanted 4.  We compromised at 3.  I always teased him saying, "Well, God will just have to give us twins that 3rd time."  It was a funny joke then...not so much now.  I'm just being silly, you may think, until I point out that there are generation after generation of twins in my dad's family, not to mention the fact that my dad was an identical twin.  The weird thing is that none of my dad's siblings had any twins and none of my generation has had any.  So, either the gene died out or the anvil is going to drop on someone soon...  Oh mylanta...

Full House

So, if you haven't read my new blog title OR seen the ticker on the side OR you haven't seen my facebook posts OR if you've been living in a cave for the last 24 hours, you've probably missed the announcement.

Baby Vickers #3: October 7th-ish, 2010.

Shocked?

Imagine how we felt when we found out.  Gallbladder issues?  No.  Virus coupled with morning sickness?  Yes.

You see...they just don't think that radioactive dye is that good for a baby that's trying to grow it's nervous system, not to mention all of the rest of its intricacies.

I'm just sayin..................

NO SCAN

So, I'm not having my scan tomorrow.  I'm doing a lot better, though, so it's okay.  I'll update more when I am able.  :)

And more updates

So, I cancelled Conrey's appointment.  My dad and brother both adjusted Conrey's neck and then my brother manipulated his ears and he has not been complaining since.  SO, the problem was either from his neck or the ear adjustment caused the fluid to drain.  HALLELUJAH!  They had adjusted him before, so I really think that it was the ear adjustment.  Let me just tell you.  An ear adjustment does NOT feel good.  Conrey didn't seem to even notice.  When I was having all of my dizziness, you may remember me talking about him adjusting my ears often.  It hurts like crazy, but is very effective.  He seriously didn't really even flinch.  Must be the fact that he's a tough boy and I'm a wussy girl.  No, I'm not being stereotypical, though I don't concern myself with such things.  I'm just stating that he is tough and I'm a wuss.

I am really feeling much, much better as far as my gallbladder is concerned.  God is good.  I was even able to eat a little, tiny bit of normal food yesterday and today.  WOO HOO!  Here's the bizzar-o thing.  My sister and brother-in-law both had attacks very similar to the one that sent me to the ER within 24 hours of mine.  Also, a few members of my brother's family have had some of the *ahem*issues*ahem* associated.  So, the question is whether this is truly gallbladder disease/stones or simply a virus that attacked that particular part of the digestive system.  I guess time and tests will tell.  All I know is that, if it is gallbladder disease/stones, I am doing well at the moment.  I have talked to many, many people that would have an attack or 2 and then go weeks, months, or years without any more.  I would be more than happy to be one of those "years" people if it is my gallbladder.  With the recent events and timing, however, I am skeptical of it truly being a reason for removal now. 

Let's see.  What else can I update about?  Well, we are now 9 months out with no employment for Mark.  May 1 was when he was laid off.  It is now February.  If you would have told me last May that he would still be "unemployed" by this date, I would have freaked.  You know what, though?  I'm not.  In Genesis when Abraham is taking his son, Isaac, to sacrifice him on God's command, Isaac asks "where is the lamb for the sacrifice, father?"  Abraham answers, "Jehovahjira."  This means "The Lord provides" or "The Lord will Provide."  All I can say about the last 9 months is, JEHOVAHJIRA!  The Lord HAS provided.  He has been truly faithful to us and we have not been in doubt...at least not for more than a moment at a time.  When the shadows of doubt have tried to creep in, God has shown us once more, Jehovahjira.  He has provided every single need and an abundance of blessings beyond our needs and wants.  He continues to bless us in some surprising ways that we never even dreamed of, and we thank Him often for knowing our needs and fulfilling them before we even think to ask. 

Pretty soon, we will have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.  I cannot even fathom those numbers for our children.  Cassie is such a big girl.  She is very helpful and very nurturing to her brother.  As for my baby boy...not so much a baby anymore.  He is very independent, but then will run to me for a snuggle before going back to playing.  He keeps us laughing all day with his faces and vocabulary.  The other day, he came to where I was, pulled the back of his diaper down a few inches and said, "BUTT!"  Mommy does not say butt, so I know full-well where he got this from...daddy!

Well, I guess that's about it for this moment.  I hope that you are all staying warm in this winter, which is obviously great supporting evidence for global warming.  Yeah......... 

I pray for each reader of my blog that Jehovahjira will be very present in your lives and that He truly will supply your every need.  Blessings on this cold, snowy Tuesday!