Ready or NOT!

It has hit me.  I'm about to have another child.  Suddenly, 8 weeks doesn't sound like much.  Suddenly, the thought of going through the baby phase again is stifling...heavy...hard to accept.

Don't get me wrong, I am READY to be done and I am READY to meet my baby and love him SO much.

I just am not mentally prepared to nurse him full-time.  I'm not ready for the diapers, sleeplessness, and 100% dependence.

ON. ME.

I think that that is why it is suddenly a burden to think about.

It's all on me.

Yes, I know that I have multitudes of people that are there for me and whom will be very helpful, but that's not the same as my husband who lives with me and helps me and comforts me.

The parenting...that's all me.

Wow.  It's all coming whether I'm ready or not.  My question is this: How do you GET ready for all of that?  Seriously?  I have no answer.

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On a somewhat unrelated note, my baby boy has turned into a bully.  He bullies his friends.  He bullies his sister.  He tries to bully me.  He is still the most loving little boy I've ever known when he wants to be.  Other times, he tries to kick baby Keaton because he's mad at me.  He has been hitting, kicking, and biting...mainly his sister.  He is slooooowly learning that hitting mommy is a baaaaaaaaad idea.  But, he still hits me quite a bit.  His Bible class teacher told me that he was hitting his friends a couple of weeks ago.  I never thought that HE would become THAT kid.  He has always been the lovey friend.  The only thing that I can figure is that it is because of all of the transitions and now Daddy isn't here to be the strong male enforcer.  Don't get me wrong, I do NOT let him get by with it, but I'm not respected the same way that Daddy is.

Any advice from you bloggity friends?  I need him to be back to his old self before baby brother comes.  I'm afraid that that is not going to happen.  He is learning independence and, for some reason, this is how he is choosing to display it.  *sigh*  I want my baby boy back!


Mark is doing well.  He is excited to get to be on the tracks working Monday.  Thank you for all of your prayers for him.  Please keep them heavenbound.  They are working and appreciated!