I'm going to switch gears here, but if anyone has more to say on any past discussions, feel free to put them as comments on the most recent post so that people will read them. OR send them to me via e-mail and I'll post them.
First of all, I want to give a big shout-out to my cousin (Brittany) and her new baby, Maren, that was born yesterday. She is a doll and I'm thrilled for them! Britt and her sister, Ali, are some of my blog readers, so I wanted to be sure that sweet Maren was acknowledged!
So, I've got the dulldrums. As most of you know and/or have figured out via my various postings, we are trying for baby #2. Now, Mark prefers that people don't know that we're trying, so please don't say anything around him. He knows that a few of you know, but I'm not sure what he'd think about me actually publishing it. Of course, he doesn't understand the whole blog thing and thinks that even though I have a "private" blog, the whole world can still read it.....he just doesn't know that much about this sort of thing.
Anyway, we're trying. So, I set up this plan that we would try until the end of the summer and if not successful, we would then wait to try further until the spring. That way, should we have another girl, all of Cassie's things will still work for that baby. If we have a boy, it wouldn't really matter one way or the other, but we can't really control that now, can we? :)
So...we're trying. We have a deadline. That makes me anxious and frustrated and gives me a feeling of powerlessness. We we agreed to this plan, we prayed and both committed the situation to God and His planning and timing. I completely 100% know that his timing is perfect. I completely submit to His plan in this situation. BUT, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to be really sad if it doesn't happen this summer. I just want it so badly. I will deal with it and get through the next several months until we start trying again if it doesn't happen, but I will be sad at first.
Part of the reason that this will be so devastating for me is that I FEEL pregnant. I feel off. I feel worn out and tired even though I've gotten adequate sleep. I feel thirsty. I feel hungry. I'm peeing a lot. Several of these I attribute to the fact that I just weaned Cassie from nursing, but it would be oh-so-exciting if they were because I was PG! So, if it turns out that I'm not, either I'm a nut job in the head and it's all psychological or something else is wrong to be making me feel so fatigued and thirsty...those are the 2 main ones.
Any of you who have experienced that 2-week wait to be able to take a pregnancy test probably understand where I'm coming from right now. It is the looooooooongest 2 weeks of my entire life over and over again! This is really only the 3rd or 4th cycle that we've tried through, but it seems like it's been many more than that.
Yeah, so, sorry this post was such a downer. It's my blog, though, so I get to write about whatever I feel like writing about! :) :) :) I just wish that it wasn't such a big deal of "OK...we're trying now." It's a huge decision in any marriage and it was so nice when Cassie was just an oops. I guess we were already trying.... :) There wasn't any pressure. There wasn't any deadline.
That's my story for today and that's all I'm gonna say about that.