*YAWN*

It's just before 5 a.m. and I'm awake. I had a bad dream at about 4:30 and am up for now. Maybe once the sun comes up, I'll go sleep a bit more. I've always had nightmares. Most of the time, I can realize that I'm in a bad dream and wake myself up before it gets too bad. However, I am then fearful. I don't like that. The Bible says that you're not supposed to have a spirit of fear, but at night...sometimes I do. It's way better than it used to be. When we were first married, I would lay awake at night terrified that someone was in our house or was gonna break into our house. Now, it really only happens when I've had a bad dream.

So, tonight, we went out to eat for Mark's b-day. We were going to go to church, but through a chain of events, that kinda got messed up, so we decided on dinner for his b-day. His birthday is tomorrow (Friday). However, we're going out with the fam on Friday. Anyway, we're at dinner and towards the end, I ask him something and he snaps at me. I was like, "What was that all about?" He said, "This is supposed to be my birthday dinner and I feel like I'm being ignored the whole time!!!" The moment before this occured, I had been playing with Cassie face to face, as she was getting fussy and I was trying to avoid her freaking out. I felt, at that point, that I had a 15-month-old and a 5-year-old with me. I said, "Do you want her screaming?!? That's what would have happened if I hadn't been doing that at that point." The rest of the meal, she had done really well and we had talked and such, so I'm not sure why he now says he was being ignored...kinda silly if you ask me.....

I'm not sure if I've posted about this or not, but I'm soon to become "VICKERS HOME DAYCARE!" As you all know, I am keeping Emberley a couple days a week. Starting soon (as soon as they can move, give their current sitter notice, etc.), I'll be keeping 2 more kids (with 1 more on the way). The oldest will be 3 in Dec. The other is 2 weeks younger than Cassie. So, I'll have a 3-year-old, two 16-month-old, and a 4-month-old by the time this all comes to be. When the baby is born and I start keeping it, I'll then have a 3-1/2-year-old, two 2-year-olds, a 1-year-old, and a 6-8-week-old. I'll have my hands full, but I think that I'm ready for it.

I was feeling kind of stressed about it until I thought of 1 thing. When I was in high school, there was a family...The Schmalzreids...every year around February, I would take care of their kids for an entire weekend. The parents would get home at like midnight and leave again at like 6:30 or something. It was a big convention for their jobs. Anyway, the first year that I did that, I had their 2-month-old along with 5 other kids. My best friend at the time came to help too, but she mainly read the whole weekend. The next year, I had a 1-year-old and 3 older kids (2 of the ones from the previous year were not theirs) and was all on my own. So, I think that I can do this with flying colors. We'll see.....

Well, that's my ramblings from a sleepy head for now. Sorry for all of the randomosity. Hope you're all sleeping like babies as I post this!!! :)