So, I'm feeling much better now. I'm not ALL better, but much better. It's been a looooong week, though, and my house is still a disaster! Anyone want to come get it under control for me? :) :) :)
The mysteries of pregnancy are never-ending, I've decided. As I'm sitting here acting as a human trampoline for little Mr. Conrey, I am amazed, once again, at the miracle that I am actually part of this process. I am growing a human inside of me. Now, don't get me wrong, all of the credit of the actual growing, nurturing, and life-breath of this little guy goes to God. To HIM be the glory without a doubt. I am just amazed that I am the vessel He has chosen to transport this little guy into life.
However, the agonies of pregnancy never cease, either. Remember how I desperately wanted to be pregnant and due this late winter/early spring? Remember how I had friend after friend contact me to tell me that they were due in Feb/Mar/Apr/May? Well, those babies have started the domino effect. Several have been born...several are days or weeks away from taking that first breath. Me? I'm just pregnant. Pregnant for 11 more weeks, give or take (and if you say "give," I will cry). I am ALREADY at the point of being tired of this pregnancy. I am jealous of those who have had their baby or know that they will within the next few days or weeks. I am tired of the pains, sicknesses, and hormones.
Now, let me say that I am absolutely thrilled for my friends that have had their babies and have made it through a round of labor and delivery. I am thrilled that they've had healthy babies. I don't want to take away their joy...I just want mine to be here sooner.
And then...I am reminded by a gentle breeze that God's timing is perfect. I am reminded that Conrey will be here when Conrey's supposed to be here. I am reminded that God has our whole lives written in His book, and Conrey's doesn't start quite yet. And I can be still in knowing that. I can be still in knowing that God has a plan for my little man. I can rest easy knowing that God is shaping him, molding him, growing him perfectly (and I mean this even if he has some sort of imperfection that we do not yet know about). I can be content...for the moment. It is just hard to remember it for longer than that...a moment.
Dear Lord, please comfort me and hold me in your hand. I know that your timing is perfect and that you are doing an amazing work inside my humble body. Please wash your peace over me until it is time for my darling son to make his arrival. Please give me strength to do what I need to do each day. Please give me motivation to do more each day than I did the day before, but the wisdom to know when I've done enough and should rest. Please be with the pregnant mommies that I know and love whom are close to giving birth. Give them strength that only you can provide to bring about the miracle of life as you intended. Above all, dear Lord, bring all of us mommas and babies through safely and in YOUR timing.