Thursday, April 17, 2008

I need clarification

Alright...I need someone to read this post and then clarify the situation...tell me what I'm missing...tell me how I was wrong, if I was wrong or tell me what is REALLY going on here with my husband.

So, I make his lunch for him. I don't ENJOY making his lunch, but I do it so that he doesn't have to. I do it because I'm here during the day. I do it because his love language is "acts of service" and doing this one little thing for him means something to him. I do it out of love, really, though it wouldn't really speak volumes to me.

I typically make his lunch the night before and put it in the fridge. This is the way he's always done it since we were first married...the way his mom did it before. I have just kept it up even though the thought of eating a PB&J made the day before is kinda gross to me.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I had lots of aches/pain. I had barely slept the night before. I needed to go to the grocery store, but just did NOT have it in me. So, his lunch didn't get made. I got up this morning, got Cassie her breakfast, and was getting things together to make his lunch when he started throwing a fit about how he didn't want me to make his lunch. He said he wants it made the night before and he didn't want me making it this morning. Then, he said that all there was for his lunch was crap anyway (which is totally absurd, by the was just an excuse he was using) and if it wasn't made the night before, he wasn't waiting around for it in the morning. takes less than 5 minutes to make his lunch. He starts work at 9. It takes 40 minutes to get there. He leaves every morning at 7:40-ish and then sits in the parking lot at work for half an hour until going in to work. I'm PRETTY SURE that me taking the time to make his lunch wouldn't have killed him. He said that he is the one that has to go to work, so he can decide when he wants to LEAVE for work and he wasn't waiting around. WHAT?!?

I just really don't understand what is going on. We talked on the phone while he was sitting in said parking lot and he just kept saying that he didn't WANT his lunch made in the morning, he wanted it done the night before and it was his lunch. I said that I ALWAYS make it the day before and ONE TIME was going to do it in the morning, so what did it matter? He said it mattered because that's how HE wanted it done. Then, I said if I'm taking the time to make HIS lunch should I get some say about when it's done?!?

Anyway, it was all really, really stupid and I still have NO CLUE what the REAL issue is. All I know is that we're going to have a little chatty tonight about things...

If anyone has any insight into this little drama, you just fire it away at me. Don't worry...I have tough skin if need be! :)


Meshellyn said...

Good morning. Glad to read that your brother and SIL got a second opinion and a better diagnosis! That's wonderful news!

As for Mark... my only thought and it's probably not legit anyhow. Do the guys that he works with go out to lunch everyday? Maybe he's tired of having to stay and eat his packed lunch and thought this would be an excuse to run out and get something different one day. If the agreement you guys have is that he'll eat a packed lunch to save money, which is legit, then maybe he found it easier to make up some stupid excuse about how it can't be made in the morning than to tell you he just wanted to go spend $6 with the guys today. I don't know though. If it were me, I'd go on lunch packing strike for a few days and let him make it himself - I'm evil like that :)

I'll be interested in hearing the "real" reason for his weird lunch making requirement, haha.

Devion said...

Actually, the taking of his lunch is all his idea. He eats in his car all by himself because he doesn't like eating with the other guys he says. He DOES go out to eat fairly often, though (usually once or twice a week), so I don't think that that is it.

He actually did apologize at lunch, but it kind of made me more mad. He said he was sorry and he just couldn't wait for the baby to be born so that we could be on a normal routine. WHAT? What in the world does the baby have to do with anything? If I were sick with the flu or something, I wouldn't have made his lunch last night anyway. Yes, I was feeling crummy because of being pregnant, but I was still making his lunch...JUST TODAY! I am just really confused as to the whole "timing of making it" thing. I just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) :) :) :)

Jen said...

You mentioned that you're grossed out by the idea of eating a day old PB&J (I right there with you, by the way). Maybe that just makes his day - knowing that his wife that made his lunch for him gives him warm fuzzys. I make Ryan his lunch before he goes to work and on the days I don't feel good he either makes it himself or has to suffer with McDonalds or Quik Trip gas station food since he works nights.

I agree with meshellyn - go on lunch strike for a week to remind him how good he has it!

Bek said...

You know, John and Mark are a lot alike in that aspect. If it's not ready when HE'S ready, then screw it, in his opinion. John gets easily stressed in the morning if things aren't running smoothly and according to his routine. John leaves at the exact same minute every day, and if he has to leave on minute late, he's literally running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

I think you do awesome with his lunches. I used to make John's lunch...but I can't remember the last time I did it. Since we had Chloe, I haven't done it but a few times. You do so well juggling that! I've never tried making it the night before though.

I'm thinking that it was a stressor in his routine to have to wait the extra few minutes...but that's what it would be for John.

Hopefully you'll figure it out or he'll let you know sooner than later so it's not buggin' ya!

Katy said...

oh gosh...I would be upset like you were as well...he should be thankful and not so demanding! (sorry..i hope i didn't sound mean...just my opinion). I make my hubby's lunch every morning and if he ever complained/whined that I wasn't doing it the "right" way...I would tell him he could do it himself then. Thankfully..he has never complained. I pray your hubby will see you are doing this out of love for him and that just because it doesn't go "his" way doesn't mean it is wrong.

Best of luck to you!!!! Your baby belly is adorable! :)